Pre marital sex, right or wrong? India wants to know!!

Sex! Saying the word alone is enough to make half of us Indians look here and there to make sure no one heard it. From our childhood we’re taught thousands of moral values and sciences and what not. But no one tells us anything about the one that shall not be named until we reach class 10 to study that infamous chapter on reproduction. While we have people who advocate sex education in schools, we also have people (and in a greater amount) who think about it as something wrong against our culture. They probably forget that it was us Indians who wrote the Kamasutra.

You must be wondering why all of a sudden the bug is talking about this. Should I stop reading this blog at work or at least tag it NSFW! Well, at least a few of you must’ve wondered. And that’s exactly what’s wrong with the way we grow up. Something so casual becomes such a big taboo. Don’t worry, the bug is safe, in fact I’d say you recommend this to your manager too. No? Well it was worth a try.

Coming back to what I was saying. How many of you think Pre Marital sex is okay? In my experience, 50 percent girls, 10 percent guys and 110 percent parents think it is absolutely wrong. Since I first heard someone saying that it was wrong, I’ve been wondering why. Does it cause some king of abnormality within us that post marriage sex won’t? As much as I know, being a virgin is not an eligibility criteria for any kind of government or private job, neither does it disqualify anyone from playing any sport. So why is it so hyped? Why in so many societies pre-marital sex is considered a crime! I’ve heard different opinions on this, ranging from valid to utter senseless.

As an example, few of the reasons given by girls who think pre-marital sex is wrong referred to the emotional attachment. According to them, once you’ve done it, you get emotionally attached to the other person in a stronger way. Considering myself a zero on ten in understanding female psychology, I’ll say this reason might hold. But I believe that sex isn’t something that you need to be attached so strongly to someone. It is definitely an important part of that relationship but withholding it just because you don’t want a stronger attachment fearing you might get ditched, what does that tell you about the relationship? One more reason, and the most common one was, saving myself for someone special. I only have one question for people with this reason. What if you have to take a divorce and the next person you meet is actually ‘the one’? Surprisingly, I also have known some guys who don’t think pre-marital sex is okay. Which is weird because males, in general, are emotionally less complex and they find it easy to keep the physical and emotional part separate. And also we’re desperate and as they say, we just want one thing. Well… they say it! Generally the reason guys don’t find it okay is either they see others doing it but not themselves, or they’re still living in that patriarchal world where males rule and having a virgin wife is like a right for them.

Personally, I don’t get it. I could never understand the reasoning when someone a) takes an interest in anyone else’s personal life and judges them on the basis of who they have sex with and when! And b) thinks that getting involved physically with someone will change anything post marriage. In the second case, maybe it will, you two will be more comfortable with each other and chances of the marriage going all the way will be more. Taking the Indian parents’ logic in loop and then thinking of the same, which one do you think is better? 1. Sleeping after marriage with someone you just met or 2. Sleeping before marriage with someone you love/like/find it okay to be involved with.

This is something that could go for pages and we can’t reach a hardcoded conclusion. There’s always fors and againsts. But if you see the scale, I guess the logic in fors surely outweighs the againsts. I can only say that one shouldn’t force his/her opinion on someone. Even if that someone is your own son/daughter. The world is evolving. Sex isn’t a taboo anymore. There’s billions of people in the world and that gives you a billion reasons to why people do it. For me, pre-marital sex is just as normal and just as okay as post marriage. As long as you have your partner’s comfort and consent and it isn’t forced. I can’t stress enough on the last line folks, keep it in your pants.

Now here’s something for you guys, the awesome writer Poonam Uppal’s book, a passionate gospel of true love is now available on Flipkart. You shouldn’t be waiting if you liked what I wrote above. Check it out:

One thing I failed to mention in the article (Thank you, Vitasta) was that no matter what your principles say and what anybody else makes you think, it is important to practice safe sex, whenever you practice it. Having or not having pre-marital sex may be up to you but you need to make sure that you’re not destroying your or someone else’s future in that. Don’t fall prey to your urges and get STDs, use protection.

6 thoughts on “Pre marital sex, right or wrong? India wants to know!!

  1. Nice content. And points well made, and especially the conclusion of having sex as long as it is with consent. I think the world as we live in is changing and people’s perspective have changed a lot. Yes, there are still many who are against pre-marital sex, but many have learned the truth that it isn’t wrong. I think many parents have changed their thinking about it. I guess by the time our generation will become parents, our society will be more open-minded towards it.
    Anyway, motive was to tell you that I liked your post and also to tell you that you forgot to mention that people must use protection if they are having sex (pre-marital or not)… 🙂 😉

    1. Thanks. I hope so. It isn’t about considering pre marital sex or anything else wrong or right, it’s about not judging and letting people do what they want. If someone doesn’t like it, he shouldn’t do it, but he also shouldn’t judge others who do it.
      Also, thanks for pointing out, I’ve added that part 🙂

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