Archive for August, 2012

Hello government, You suck!!! Just when i was ready to post about the 5 message limit, you extended it to twenty!!! :/
But guess what, this is MY blog… I’ll post whatever I want. So go ahead. 😛

So this is my take on the recent ban on text messaging. After Christopher Nolan’s ‘ban’e, this is the next ban India is talking about. Actually saying a ban isn’t right, it is a restriction, now you can’t send more than five twenty messages each day. But for youngsters like us, this is even worse than a ban. Imagine a situation when your girlfriend got pissed off right after the fifth twentieth message. Or you accidentally sent a wrong message and you don’t have one left to say sorry.

The most grief stricken are the students who used to laugh at their crotch during lectures, i.e. texted with the mobiles hidden behind the desks. Now they’ll have to actually attend the lectures!! I pity those who now cannot send me the messages saying a poor girl will get a dollar if I forward that to 10 people. Poor people! That was the sole way of entertainment in their otherwise worthless life.

Here are a few jokes that occur to my mind while I hear about the restriction and people’s reactions to it.

  • Now that you can send five messages per day, maybe guys will be able to figure out which girl is the one. OR at least narrow down the list to five!
  • So the government wants to prevent hate messages. Are we allowed to send five hate messages per day?
  • Earlier they used to say “Dear girls, if a guy pauses a game to send you a message, marry him.” Now I think we should change it to, “Dear girls, if a guy sends you a message, marry him”.
  • For me the perfect couple now is the one in which they send all five messages to each other.
  • In case a girl replies to your two texts in a row, believe me guys, it’s time you should tell her your feelings. (I know you feel since you texted her twice as well.)
  • For those who are happy since they didn’t have a message pack earlier as well, BEWARE! These people, after recovering from the trauma of this restriction, might start studying/working and beat you!!
  • The government is very thoughtful; they put a restriction on messaging right after they said they’ll provide free phones to villagers. This way they will refuse to take one!
  • Do you know which the latest Rajinikanth joke is these days?
    Rajinikanth can send six messages a day.
    Do you know why haven’t you heard about this?
    No one sends forwards now!
  • Now most roadies contestants don’t know if eid was this Sunday or Monday. Since they didn’t get any ‘happy eid’ message.
  • Whatsapp is the new replacement for text messaging. While it’s number of downloads have increased twofold in the past week, there were a few hundred broken phones with ‘bada’ OS found in trash.
  • While everyone is busy blaming the government for five message restriction, no one noticed that V.V.S Laxman retired from Test Cricket. Those who did, unfortunately couldn’t send chain forwards about it.
  • Multiple Sim phones are also becoming popular now so that people can send more than 5 texts a day. Probably after the ban is lifted, we’ll have lots of fraud cases to deal with. What a planning by the government!
  • The new company schemes are something like that. “Recharge with a 15 day message pack worth Rs 25, get a talk time of 15 and data pack of 1 gb free.”
  • Now the classic excuse of getting a girl’s number, “I have to go now, why don’t you text me” won’t work. Guys need to change their ways, temporarily at least.
  • The last one: How many jokes did I say? Fifteen, I bet this is more than the number of texts you sent in last two days. 😛 (This one still holds true if you haven’t send more than 10 texts today 😛  )

So how big is the effect of this restriction on your life? Tell me. Did you awkwardly keep staring on your mobile screen wanting the failed text to try one more time? Or you are spending way too much time on Facebook and Twitter now? I believe none of you can say that you didn’t try resending the sixth message when it happened for the first time.

From my side, I’d like to give a few suggestions to our government. Don’t remove the restriction, life seems peaceful now. At least people realize the importance of meeting and calling. For those who are far, we do have social networks to stay in touch. And in case you want to increase the restrictions, make it at most 2 statuses per day on Facebook. The people blabbering about this restriction are becoming way too annoying now.

And a few more restrictions can be on the number of likes every day. This way not ALL girls will get them and we’ll know who are the most intellectual hottest ones.

This is it. Feel free to tell me how you liked the article. Comment here, share if you like. And well… Text me 😛

Hello, this is my 55th blog-post, and the tradition of experiments continue. Without saying much, here is a new kind of post for my blog, “55 Fiction”.  A 2 minute read. 🙂

 

“I hear that you are the best in the market. The ‘Ravan’s you make for dussehra are widely sold.”

“People say so, sir”

“What is it? Your knowledge of the religion or love for the festival?”

“Maybe that or maybe it’s my love for art and festivity”

“Oh.. And What’s your name young man?”

“Saleem.”

 

Yep, this is it. I hope you liked it.
PS: Happy Eid. I know none of my readers is a follower of racism or casteism or anything like that, but we can always spread the awareness 🙂

It’s definitely not my 66th blogpost, but I so wish it was. Anyway, this is going to be a long one so let’s switch to the subject straight away. This is my third (kinda) serious post after Daughter’s day: Time to rethink and Republic Day. Yes, I am serious on all special days (except for the valentine day when girls don’t take me seriously).

Here I am telling you a few things we do, which are wrong and how we can do simple things to help our country develop. Believe me, they are simple. Try, you won’t get bored.

So… Ever got caught speeding and paid a hundred bucks to save your license from being punched? Or did you buy a pirated movie CD because the movie wasn’t good enough to be watched in theatre. I am pretty sure all of us, one time or the other, threw a polybag right there on the middle of the road. And well, who waits for the green light when there is no traffic inspector around.
We’re not good at sticking to the rules; we suck at following simple things… I tell you what we’re good at, planning and blaming the system for not executing the plans.

Also, we’re great at showing how intellectual and thoughtful we are on the online platforms. (Guilty as charged, I am doing the same here). On Facebook and twitter, every person sounds intelligent. Everyone is a genius describing how selfish Aamir Khan is when he promotes Satyamev Jayate or what an utter failure Anna Hazare is.

But here’s what I think. At least they are DOING something. Which is way better than… well… not doing anything. I realize Aamir’s heavy preaching in a TV show with so many lights glowing up his thoughtful face isn’t a solution to casteism or honor killing. But sitting at home and cursing him isn’t either.

The question is, are we ready to bring the change? Is there a Bhagat singh within you struggling to come out? Well hold it there BubbleHead. I for one, most definitely know there isn’t. Yes, you are enraged now, as you have watched a patriotic movie, listened to many tracks that show the love to our nation, saw at least a thousand Facebook posts saluting our martyrs and maybe watched our president’s speech (Which was awesome by the way). But you also know, it’s been like that from past many years. Let the day get over, we’ll see how ‘patriotic’ you stay.

So, since we are not going to do anything ‘heroic’ to save the nation (as you can’t do it), and also I am not going to preach you in heavy words with an exceptional command over vocabulary (as I can’t do it), let me tell you what you and I can do. It might not bring some big change, but I am sure our country badly needs even a little effort from everyone.

  1. Do not litter. Seriously, would you like to see a banana peel near your pillow?
  2. Save: Electricity. Petrol. Water.
    I know it sounds like a cliché, but after seeing those power grid failures, I am bound to say we’re not doing it. Walk a little, switch off the fans and lights when you leave an otherwise empty room. And this goes for the public places and offices too. We all know we do it at home.
  3. The average time we spend texting, calling and on internet, please spend just twenty percent of it reading about the government policies. At least blame them with facts, don’t follow a trend. (This goes for everyone in my age circle, especially engineers, who open newspaper only when there’s a placement interview the same day.)
  4. Help someone. I don’t want you going to old age homes or orphanages, but there are a lot of homeless people you’ll see on your way, while you look at them; ask yourself, what exactly will you do with that 3 year old T-shirt of yours at home.
  5. While we are at it, believe me, you are not donating 1$ for every share on Facebook to the girl suffering from leukemia. You’re just proving that you’re dumb.
  6. Save some important numbers in your phone. The ones you can always use in case of you need help.
    108 is the one for any kind of emergencies.
    1098 is for Child Help. This number is NOT the one you call when you see leftover food and you want them to pick it up. It’s a hoax. But when you see a child in problem and need help, this is the number to call.
    There are a lot of such local numbers for organizations like ‘Help in suffering’, ‘india against corruption’ etc. Take out 10 minutes and search for them.
  7. Try to donate. It feels good. And you can always brag about it 😉
  8. Raise your voice. Against corruption, child abuse or maybe the illegal constructions near your house. With current levels of technology, even an anonymous call or just an email to the right place will do wonders. Experience speaking here (no more details please 😛 ).

photo courtesy: Google Images

We have over 1 lakh people, fighting for us on the borders, putting their lives at risks so we live safe. A man (not baba ramdev) is doing hunger strikes to ignite a fire within all of us, maybe it is overrated, maybe it is hyped, but I think maintaining this in headlines is better than watching Sunny Leone crying in her movie promos!
We do have bad policies and dirty politics going across, but at the same time there are people in the same field who live for the country and who want to see it prosper.

In the end, let me put it this way, I don’t care if the rest 1.2 billion people want to sit idle and blame the government for the country’s bad situation and people’s ideology, I am with those handful who want to do something to change it. I am not good enough to become an IAS, not bold enough to join Anna, not popular enough to start my own show, but I am strong enough to voice my opinion and do my duties as a citizen of India.

In case you have thoughts brimming and you feel like thrashing me with some of them, I’d welcome them. But do remember, it’s the effort that counts. 🙂

PS: I came across this initiative by www.21fools.com. Just go to the website and send a card to the army heroes. Spread a smile.
PPS: Watch this pic. Aren’t you proud of her !