Archive for March, 2012

Hello… I have been a little busy, evident from the frequency of my blog posts. So what I did was to ask for help on my fanpage and surprisingly, I got a huge response when I asked for a co-author for my next post. Seeing that, I decided something, the month of april is going to be a co-authored post month.
And here is the first article in that series, from me and my co-author, a person known to many of you from “5 questions guys can’t answer”, Akanksha sharma! In this, we have tried to help out the other girls, in case they need some dating advice, basically, How to impress and ask a guy out!

What guys need? Is the basic question in every girl’s mind.
Well, in general they need a girl who is caring, understanding, funny and kinda intelligent. Forget what I said if you’re hot!

love is in the air

 

So here are some ways to help you get going into a guy’s heart. Remember, all the ways have not actually been tested, but legends say they work.

  • Now when your mother says “Way to a man’s heart is through his tummy” listen to her.
    Prepare His favourite dish for him (and if can’t, then order it from somewhere and tell him that you’ve made it for him). Once his mouth opens, he will say yes to anything you say, if you know what I mean.

    Alter: Just text him that you like him!

 

 

  • Wait for your birthday. Guys love asking a girl what she wants for her birthday. Ask for a special b’day gift, and now ask him out (and if he is confused then use the weapon known as “Emotional Blackmail”).

 

Alter: Just text him that you like him!

 

 

  • Try to be close to him for some time. Not chipku but close, there’s a difference, a mosquito is chipku who you just want to kill, a pug who you just pet is close. Now take that figuratively and read on. Befriend his mother! Hah ! that’s it, guys always like girls liked by their mothers.

Alter: You know! Just text him that you like him!

  • Watch his favourite movie even if you hate that to the core and use some of its dialogues on the timing. HE WILL FALL FOR YOU FOR SURE!!!
    Guys like the girls with similar choice. Now this task is tough for most girls because they’d generally not want to watch space movies and well… other types… of movies!

    Alter: Guess what!

  • In the pre historic times, when tribal women used to like a guy, they used to throw a bone at him to indicate their crush. Now things have changed, but man hasn’t. Throw him a bone. Not literally, dumb! Go and give him something, maybe a shirt or a sweater or… well, even a hanky would do, just embroider your and his name inside a little red heart. Beneath that, a kiss leaving your lipstick mark would add to the magic.
    This works when you’re really close. But when you’re really close and still not together, I’d advise to rethink.

    Alter: Did I become too serious there? This close thing is crap, just text him that you like him!

 

I know my ways were toooooo good. But still there might be some girls who would actually be looking forward to ask a guy out instead of just screwing around. So here’s a nice write up to help them. http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-a-Guy-Out

In the end, I would like to thank Akanksha for making this second co-authored post with me. Just like last time, it will be hard for her to find out what points she had actually written 😛

Next 4 posts will be co-authored as well, stay tuned and you’re gonna love it 😉

Hello everyone..

 After the 9 step guide to dating was a hit, I was thinking of telling you all some more ways to get into the world of romance. And guess what, i couldn’t think of any! But still, i have to keep the blog running right!
So here I am going to tell you 5 awesome and unique ways to ask a girl out. These ways are NOT copied from the playbook, are working if followed properly, and well, crap!

The best thing about these ways is the uniqueness blended with uselessness!!

So read carefully, and tell me what you liked the most.

Will you..!!!??

Way1.

As they say dogs are man’s best friend, use it! Buy/rent a dog and make friends with it. Train it in a way that it stops when you command. Now make the dog drink some wine, (or bhang for desi style) and set it after the girl you like.
When she is running for her life, ask her out and stop the dog only when she says yes.

Pros: 100% yes

Cons: don’t overdose the wine or you might have to run for your life!

Way2.

This one is rather less violent. Here you are going to use cows and maybe buffaloes, depending on the size of their tails. We need cattle with tail sizes around 1-2 feet. Tie them together and make a heart, show it to the girl, she won’t like the mess, but the concept is awesome, trust me!

Pros: she’ll like the uniqueness (given you try it instantly before the public reads my blog)

Cons: farts, tail dirt, cow dung, etc etc..

Way3.

So we got a little too inclined towards animals didn’t we? So here’s something human. The most awesome and working way. The wingman! Just hire a friend to play a bit for you and go towards the target girl. Let your friend ask her out and fail. You go, spread your charm (if exists) and win.!

Pros: theory of comparison works on girls.

Cons: don’t hire a friend like me, you might never see the girl again!

Way4.

This one is a bit tricky and expensive. You need to have a band of singers, a romantic place and a cowboy hat. Wear the hat, make them sing and get the girl to the place (she’ll come if u say there are 3 more friends)

Now tell her the friends cancelled and if she would like to go on more of such dates.

As the place and music is romantic, chances are that she’ll say yes. What? You want to know the use of cowboy hat? No, that’s just to make you look funny.!

Pros: She’ll say yes seeing the romance in the air.

Cons: You’re wearing a cowboy hat! And it’s expensive unless you own the band!

Way5.

Try this, meet her and straight forward ask her out. Be a man and don’t be a loser that you have to read and learn from a blog on how to ask her out. (no offence) this is indeed the best way out there!

Pros and Cons don’t really exist in this one, all depends on your courage!

So i guess i am done, i’d personally recommend way2, i haven’t seen that in practical application so it would be fun seeing a heart made with cow tails!

Good luck 😛

Nahi… Nahi… Nahi…

And that’s a journey full of atrocities starts which makes you want to kill yourselves in the most brutal manner.
Yep, i am talking about the great Indian daily soaps. While I diss them, on the other hand, i wonder who is more courageous? Our soldiers or ladies who watch those daily soaps.

May it be their pavitra rishta with it or their balika vadhu instinct, but they have endless emotions and patience when it comes to watching ““Bart””. ““Bart”” means “Bad ART”, and that’s how I’ll refer the daily soaps in the rest of this article.

Here to suck your blood

Here to suck your blood!!

So what is with this ““Bart””. Why are they so popular in Indian women (general) and why are they so bloodsucking for Indian men (all). Here are some points that came to my mind.

  • They have a never-ending collection of jewelry and fancy clothing, even in a dull normal morning the brides in “Barts” are studded with jewels. Believe me, that gives even bappi da a complex. While women fall for them, men literally “fall” because of them.
  • The way they manipulate and make plans and traps, I wonder why didn’t al-quayda and taliban people recruit them for strategy handling.
  • While even the poorest of them will carry a blackberry and a car is necessary (i just wrote it to rhyme), their dining tables will always contain a well-organized and never-emptying fruit basket!
  • The biggest one, WHY THE HELL THEY NEVER DIE??? I mean you can never say it for sure that this person will not make a dramatic return. Oh wait, it IS a drama!

Some quick picks that i don’t understand about the “Barts” is.

  • Why is it that they always give expressions at different times one by one whenever a good or bad news comes in. (just curious!)
  • How a plastic surgery completely changes a person’s face and why don’t they become like brad pit and Jennifer Lopez then?
  • How marriages is just like having food for them, i mean do it every once in a while and dump the crap out of it.
  • And Why did my mom kept staring at me like she’s gonna kill me when i asked her to say something against “Barts”.

Apparently, these shows are the most hated and yet most watched and most commercialized over Indian television. (Declaring the women power yet again!)

To conclude, here’s what I have to say. Their never ending and tempting (read: time wasting) stories get the viewers glued somehow. So it becomes my moral duty to warn you that if you’re new with them, back off now. Or there’ll be a day when you’ll start falling for akshara or anandi and that my dear friend, is the time, when you should stop waiting for the doomsday!