Archive for the ‘Lifestyle’ Category

I’m sure most of you are familiar with the ban on our very own Maggi noodles. Being the farsighted guy that I am, I’ve always had this habit of buying and storing stuff on the weekends. Now imagine this, you go for a movie late at night and come out of the theatre at 12, your stomach is craving for dinner more than Ronaldo for a penalty, you walk back home proudly knowing that you have a pack of Maggi waiting to be cooked at home. And only when you open the box you realize your favorite lifesaving noodles are gone. What do you do? It was the kind of hour when no shops in the vicinity would be open, and even my neighbor, who I’m pretty sure is a werewolf, is asleep!

The question I just left you with above is what you call, my friend, a Food-Fix. I moved to Pune 2 years back. We were 3 flat-mates, and owing to our amazing non-cooking skills and awe-inspiring laziness, not having a proper kitchen in our flat seemed an amazing idea back then. “We have so many places right outside the apartment, we’ll never have a problem eating out” was like a war-cry for us, repeating it every day. But little did we know that we’ll be facing so many of such ‘Food-fixes’ in the coming years. I’ve faced such situations many times, and I also remember sneaking into my flat-mates room and stealing a pack of cookies. But I was done with these things, (Also, my flatmate was out of cookies). So in this Maggi fiasco, I didn’t want to be the one to suffer.

So what did I do? I found out everything edible I had in my room and made my own recipe. I had an apple, two pouches of ketchup and two eggs. So I made an omelet. The only problem is that I didn’t know how to make an omelet, so what started off on the journey to become an omelet ended up being a beaten-down-poached-egg-with-a-little-shell-still-there. Since I managed to make something worth being waxed in madam Tussaud’s out of the two eggs that I could have just boiled, I had no option but to eat the sad and lonely apple and cry myself to sleep. And just so you know, apple with ketchup is not a good idea.

But that incident warned me for life. So the next morning I clicked on a link one of my friends had sent to me on WhatsApp. It was a referral link to the TinyOwl app. To be honest, I was not very hopeful, my past experiences with food ordering apps weren’t falling in the definition of pleasant, but as they say, a hungry man will do anything, and that includes installing an app. But here comes the big surprise, as soon as I opened the app, it felt like I was falling in love all over again. The interface, the smoothness, the easy to understand steps… everything made me want to order even more. And I did. Not only was my first order free, it was delivered on time without a single interaction with the customer care, which is a big deal. And I remember, I was so happy with the app that I put up a review on the playstore right away.

Tinyowl Review - Shubham

As you can see, I was a little too happy with the experience. I put this review up a few months back and since then I’ve placed over 30 orders from Tinyowl. I’ve been using online food ordering apps for quite some time now, and as I said in my review, nothing comes even close.

I was in another Food-Fix some time back. When I returned home with a friend at 11 only to find out all eating joints around my home closed. Being aware of my saucy apple and egg massacre, she was obviously in no mood of making me cook for her own good. And that’s when TinyOwl came to my rescue. Not only were there options available to order at midnight, there were discounts too! I’m not very proud of it that I still take all the credit for the late night Pav Bhaji she apparently loved, so thank you, TinyOwl!

This wasn’t an endorsement, but rather an experience and an account of how I’m loving not having a kitchen now! It fills me with pride when I see startups from our country doing this well and I’m sure that 5 years down the line, when people will talk about the game changers in the Indian startup culture, TinyOwl will be a front runner in the names.

And yes, if the tinyowl management is reading this, here’s my full review that I couldn’t post on the playstore.

Since June last year, I have placed over 150 online food orders. I have tried all the online stores and vendors out there and have tried all the apps. And let me tell you, none of them even comes close to what Tinyowl here has created.

This app is changing the online food ordering experience altogether and spoiling the customers at the same time, I mean I don’t see a reason why anyone would want to order through some other app after having the Tinyowl experience.

The referral programs lets you order your first meal almost for free and then there’s a plethora of offers to keep you going. Till now I haven’t received a single call from the customer care telling me that what I ordered isn’t available. The orders are delivered on time as well.

Coming to the app, the flow is crisp and the UI is the best in the segment. Even the app size isn’t too much for any phone to handle. And the best part is, no emails bothering you about your feedback or ratings or anything. Simply your invoice is what they mail you. Everything else is taken care of right from the app, which is great because it is the fastest way of reaching out if your food is late, which it mostly isn’t.

And now that the review is too long, I’ll end it by saying that you’re missing on a lot if you haven’t tried it yet. I just hope they make suggesting a restaurant easier in the next update, I got some of my favorites that aren’t there yet.

Happy meals 🙂

TinyOwl

Damn, did I ramble on for too long again? I knew that was going to happen! Anyway, I’ll end this now, just make sure you have TinyOwl (Android and iOS) in your phone, so that you are never in a situation where you have to eat an apple with ketchup… ever…

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Get.Set.Bolt!

Posted: January 26, 2015 in Competition Post, Lifestyle
Tags: , ,

She was there in my hometown, but she went away before I could see her. I went after her to Pune, but alas, I was too late to track her down. But then, finally, it was Mumbai where we met. I am talking about the latest Tata Bolt in case you thought it was something else. I met her in the Bolt arena in Phoenix Mall, Mumbai. And you can’t blame me, when a car looks like that, you’ve got to see it up close!

Coming to the point, I am not what you may call a car fanatic, but I do have my fair share of watching top gear and writing car reviews every now and then. So needless to mention, when Blogadda gave me a chance to check out the all new Bolt, I couldn’t let it go!

With a 1.2 litre turbocharged MPFi petrol engine, speed sensing autolocks, dual airbags, fully automatic AC with touchscreen, extra cabin space, geo responders, amazing finish, masculine rugged looks, amazing connectivity features and superb range of colors, this is just the car a person like me dreams of.

I went to the bolt arena with my friends and the people there were supportive enough to explain us the features, although in no way we looked like in a condition to buy this thing of beauty, I’d definitely not mind winning one though!

Here’s a pic of my friend Sagar with the Bolt.

IMG-20150125-WA0007

Let mine remain secret for a while 😉

Here’s another one with the less enthusiastic Nitesh, he was probably mesmerized by the features I told him before we reached the arena.

IMG-20150125-WA0004

So as I already gave a small preview of what features are packed in the all new Bolt, what stole my heart is yet to be told. So here’s the top 5 reasons I loved the bolt.

First and the foremost is the connectivity. When you start looking at it, Bolt is literally packed with everything you could ask for when it comes to the connectivity.

There is a CONNECTNEXT TOUCHSCREEN INFOTAINMENT BY HARMAN™ which already puts it ahead of the league, but just to make it beat the crap out of all others, Tata gave this one an advanced voice command recognition to make calls, change tracks, and control the AC. Just imagine, you could practically spend the whole journey talking to your car! A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!

There’s a lot of other connectivity features too, not on my list but others will definitely like the video playback and touchscreen options!

Second on my list was the safety. Driving on the Indian roads, you need to make sure you’re prepared for all kinds of situations. And bolt gives you Dual airbags and speed sensing autolocks on all doors.

There’s also a rear wiper, to make sure you don’t lose visibility on those foggy days.

Next up or third is performance. Yes, I agree that this would be number one for most people, but given that if I ever get this car I’ll be driving this in heavy traffic conditions, a powerful engines isn’t a big part of my priority list. But still, it is there. And in the bolt, it is hands down the most distinguishing feature.

The revotron 1.2T engine is something that… well… I can’t fully explain. So I’ll the website do this job.

The powerful Revotron 1.2T delivers the best-in-class** power of 90 PS and torque of 140 Nm between 1500-4000 RPM. The built in MULTI-DRIVE feature lets you switch between three different driving modes: Sport, Eco and City, giving you the power of 3 engines in 1.

Fourth on my list comes the price. Being a hardcore Baniya, this totally could have been first for me, but I secretly wouldn’t care about the price if a car is this good (and I have that much money! ). Plus price isn’t really a car’s feature, except when it is this low! Read on:

Different versions of Bolt are there starting from a price of 4,65,000 to 7,40,000. When I first took a good look at all the features, I was expecting this to be beyond my scope, over a million bucks or something. But at this price, it is definitely a steal deal. Go baniyas!

Before I tell you about the fifth feature that I liked the most, Let me tell you that I am 6’2” tall and the length of my legs are the reason most of my friends throw me out of their cars. Erm… moving on… the Bolt has such a cabin space that this would never be a problem. According to most review websites, Bolt offers the class leading cabin space which means it is the best in its category.  (http://www.carwale.com/tata-cars/bolt/expert-reviews-16877/ )

We’re done with the 5 things I like about the bolt, I am sure by now you’re in love with it too. Tell me your favorite features, check this out : http://bolt.tatamotors.com/

Also, you should already be knowing that This post is a part of the Get. Set. Bolt. activity at BlogAdda. 🙂

Before I begin this post, I want you to take a look at this picture.

It fills my heart with joy to see a 9 year old writing this well. But apart from that, what I could see in this little note is how happy she was. And why wouldn’t she be? She’s having a time of her life with her family. These are the things she’ll cherish when she’s a grown up and get happy looking at what a lovely childhood she had. You see, that’s how much effect a few good holidays can have on the children.

Have you looked at what kind of a society we have become? The one where a kid getting 89% is looked down upon because his classmate got 90, the one where we discourage playing football because we don’t see a good future in our country for that field, the one where kids are loaded with heavy bags and lengthy courses to be carried round the year… don’t you think after going through so much, our kids need a break? As much as I hate little kids who cry throughout a movie or a flight spoiling it for others, I strongly advocate that parents should take their kids out for holidays. In the busy life like we have, parents don’t get to spend enough time with their kids, resulting in distances and communication gaps. Holidays can be an amazing way to mend those gaps and fill your little ones with creativity, not to mention have a timeout yourself.

Now I am not in a position to give any parenting advice but as you can see, what I said above is as simple as two plus two… everyone knows that’s five… or four? Well, I am not very good at math. I wish I had many holidays when I was a child! The best part of being a writer is, you can appreciate the power of imagination. For instance, I can already imagine how a holiday of me with my kids will look like. A city filled with beaches and a week of absolute fun. A package full of learning, fun and bonding. A time when they’ll get to see new things, explore new places and meet new people. Then maybe another holiday in a city like Paris. Watching the beautiful Eifel Tower up close and looking at the amazing skyline of one of the most beautiful cities ever! Already imagining, are you? Take a look at this, these are all real experiences. Looking at what these kids have written, I can see that there is hope after all. http://membership.clubmahindra.com/TeddyTravelogues/index.html.

Teddy Travelogues is a really cool portal where you can see the first hand experiences of the kids in their holidays. Reading a few, I felt like going back to my childhood!

Before I go, here’s one more.

Thank you Indiblogger for this opportunity. It’s amazing how these little experiences can be life changing. If you have a kid, I’d definitely recommend taking a look at these travelogues and planning a holiday. Life is all about having fun, right?

Hello government, You suck!!! Just when i was ready to post about the 5 message limit, you extended it to twenty!!! :/
But guess what, this is MY blog… I’ll post whatever I want. So go ahead. 😛

So this is my take on the recent ban on text messaging. After Christopher Nolan’s ‘ban’e, this is the next ban India is talking about. Actually saying a ban isn’t right, it is a restriction, now you can’t send more than five twenty messages each day. But for youngsters like us, this is even worse than a ban. Imagine a situation when your girlfriend got pissed off right after the fifth twentieth message. Or you accidentally sent a wrong message and you don’t have one left to say sorry.

The most grief stricken are the students who used to laugh at their crotch during lectures, i.e. texted with the mobiles hidden behind the desks. Now they’ll have to actually attend the lectures!! I pity those who now cannot send me the messages saying a poor girl will get a dollar if I forward that to 10 people. Poor people! That was the sole way of entertainment in their otherwise worthless life.

Here are a few jokes that occur to my mind while I hear about the restriction and people’s reactions to it.

  • Now that you can send five messages per day, maybe guys will be able to figure out which girl is the one. OR at least narrow down the list to five!
  • So the government wants to prevent hate messages. Are we allowed to send five hate messages per day?
  • Earlier they used to say “Dear girls, if a guy pauses a game to send you a message, marry him.” Now I think we should change it to, “Dear girls, if a guy sends you a message, marry him”.
  • For me the perfect couple now is the one in which they send all five messages to each other.
  • In case a girl replies to your two texts in a row, believe me guys, it’s time you should tell her your feelings. (I know you feel since you texted her twice as well.)
  • For those who are happy since they didn’t have a message pack earlier as well, BEWARE! These people, after recovering from the trauma of this restriction, might start studying/working and beat you!!
  • The government is very thoughtful; they put a restriction on messaging right after they said they’ll provide free phones to villagers. This way they will refuse to take one!
  • Do you know which the latest Rajinikanth joke is these days?
    Rajinikanth can send six messages a day.
    Do you know why haven’t you heard about this?
    No one sends forwards now!
  • Now most roadies contestants don’t know if eid was this Sunday or Monday. Since they didn’t get any ‘happy eid’ message.
  • Whatsapp is the new replacement for text messaging. While it’s number of downloads have increased twofold in the past week, there were a few hundred broken phones with ‘bada’ OS found in trash.
  • While everyone is busy blaming the government for five message restriction, no one noticed that V.V.S Laxman retired from Test Cricket. Those who did, unfortunately couldn’t send chain forwards about it.
  • Multiple Sim phones are also becoming popular now so that people can send more than 5 texts a day. Probably after the ban is lifted, we’ll have lots of fraud cases to deal with. What a planning by the government!
  • The new company schemes are something like that. “Recharge with a 15 day message pack worth Rs 25, get a talk time of 15 and data pack of 1 gb free.”
  • Now the classic excuse of getting a girl’s number, “I have to go now, why don’t you text me” won’t work. Guys need to change their ways, temporarily at least.
  • The last one: How many jokes did I say? Fifteen, I bet this is more than the number of texts you sent in last two days. 😛 (This one still holds true if you haven’t send more than 10 texts today 😛  )

So how big is the effect of this restriction on your life? Tell me. Did you awkwardly keep staring on your mobile screen wanting the failed text to try one more time? Or you are spending way too much time on Facebook and Twitter now? I believe none of you can say that you didn’t try resending the sixth message when it happened for the first time.

From my side, I’d like to give a few suggestions to our government. Don’t remove the restriction, life seems peaceful now. At least people realize the importance of meeting and calling. For those who are far, we do have social networks to stay in touch. And in case you want to increase the restrictions, make it at most 2 statuses per day on Facebook. The people blabbering about this restriction are becoming way too annoying now.

And a few more restrictions can be on the number of likes every day. This way not ALL girls will get them and we’ll know who are the most intellectual hottest ones.

This is it. Feel free to tell me how you liked the article. Comment here, share if you like. And well… Text me 😛

Isn’t it pretty amazing, there is an athlete hidden in you and you never knew!!

Yes, i am talking about you, you disgruntled poor soul. A common man. Now please add all the dialogues said by nasiruddeen shah in “a Wednesday”. It will give you a feel and save me some work.

Anyway, moving on, i was talking about an athlete hidden in all of us. Well actually most of us, atleast in those who keep travelling in those local trains. Now you know what i am talking about right?

I always knew you’re smart. So i was thinking about the plight of the people who have to travel in a local train. I realized it the moment i saw hundreds of people struggling for a place in a local three years back, and blogged it today (Yes, i am that slow!!)

So let’s tell you a few things you should know while you travel in a local train in India.

1) The boarding style in a local train

Fast and crisp, if you lose it, loss of limb is expected. How a man with a suitcase and tie does it is commendable!

2) Once you’re in

Search for a place to.. Well.. Adjust yourself. Those who get to sit in a local are known as “people with luck of gold”. Those who stand are lucky as well and rest are lucky that they atleast get to exist inside a local train.

3) Holding yourself

In a moving local, you have to keep in mind a lot of things. Hold properly your bag, your wallet, your phone, your hands, your legs and well a lot more! You never know “kahan se kya ud jaye”!

4) The unknown stops

When you can’t even breathe properly, having an idea of stops is crap! So be ready, in every local train, once in every while, you’ll experience 50 kg of asses in your front and 50 kg of fronts on your ass.

5) In case you spot a seat

Defy gravity, jump more than jones, run faster than bolt because this IS your chance. Become the Ethen Hunt for a while and don’t let anyone else overpower you at this one. Yes, you have spotted the jackpot my bwouy!!

6) Time to say bye

I know, this was the journey of your life. And after this you hopefully safely and in one piece have landed to your destination. Now make space for those who rush in and make sure no one steps on you in the process. Get out (preferably while train is standing) though you need a lot of precision for the same.

My air fares are less than local trains these days, please travel in my plane!!!

Things I just told are those to which people exclaim for sure. Those who travel in locals exclaim because they never knew they do all this. And those who don’t, well they never knew as well!

But one thing from the core of my heart, these locals are the veins of Indian system (exaggeration). People who travel in them are like warriors (super exaggeration) and i am awesome (true story)!

Hope you liked it, next time I’ll tell you the story of a kingfisher airplane. (Get your tongue back in.)

First of all, a whole hearted thank you to my readers. The month of april was a month of co-authored posts, and i was overwhelmed by the huge response i got. Just 4 posts collecting over 3000 views and 50+ shares with over 350 facebook likes and 100+ twitter mentions. Since i have nothing else but my articles to give to you, here’s another one, totally written by me. Have a look 🙂


So that’s a general problem, guys always worry about this thing, rest all is good but what to do when their girlfriend/wife asks for shopping. 3 quick things that come to mind are

a) Waste of money

b) Waste of time

c) And oh… Waste of money..!

And frankly, who enjoys shopping in a girls department carrying her bags. All we enjoy is… Well… Guys already know that and girls don’t want to know that!

So here are some tips to help you out while going shopping with her. Though the article is basically for guys, girls can read it and thrash me like they did when i wrote their resume 😛

1. When she buys clothes.

Positive points:

  • You can check out other “stuff” while she’s trying on the clothes.
  • You can check out the score on that lcd tv while she is busy trying (man she takes time)

Negative points:

  • You are standing in a ladies’ department carrying a bag!

And yes, don’t forget to praise her as soon as she’s out. (Must do)

2. When she is buying nail paint/perfume.

Positive points:

  • You get to smell something good in case of perfume and in case of nail paint, you can go try that yourself (hey your nails would look fancy!)
  • You get to console yourself for the fact that her nail paint isn’t as costly as the top she just bought.

Negative points:

  • You are standing in a ladies’ department carrying a bag!

3. When she is buying grocery.

Positive points:

  • That’s where you come in, tell her you’re in charge and you wish to have soup tomorrow. Ok i am kidding, just stand behind her while she picks up all the necessary items, but yeah you can always add that pack of maggie to the basket
  • These days malls have those game cds and LCDs and sofas, don’t forget to use them.

Negative points:

  • You are standing in a ladies’ department carrying a bag! Seriously, think about it!

4. For anything else.

Just remember

  • What she picked is good (even when we all know it’s not).
  • Whatever you liked is your choice and not an implication that she’ll buy it.
  • Again, what she picked HAS to be good!

Just like way to a man’s heart is through his tummy (don’t know who said that), way to a woman’s heart is through a man’s wallet.

And also, good things come in small packages, shopping isn’t a good thing, so be ready to carry big packages!

Kinda short n precise, I guess that’s it for now, I’ve told you enough. All the best taking her shopping! 😀

Hello all, in the series of co-authored posts, this is 4th for the month and 6th overall. Here I am going to tell something you all might have been waiting for, some supercool ways to beat the heat. To help me out, I have one of my biggest fans, an all-time reader, a good friend, and above all, the person who suggested me to make the blog, which means the first reader of a blog which now has all hundreds of you beautiful readers 😉 Please welcome Ashish Jhawar.

So people always say they don’t like summers, nothing is good except for the holidays. I think on different lines, for me, its holidays+fun+cool clothes+ice creams+mangoes!! Oh mangoes!!!! Umm… sorry I got carried away. Anyway, what they don’t like is the shooting temperature and the “Chubhti jalti garmi” as they say. So here are some ways to beat the heat.

 

Way 1:

Work out in a gym, sweat so much that you become a self shower. Now hit the strongest man near you and run for your life. Since you will run covered with sweat, the breeze will make you feel cool. Also, when you get caught, you’ll be “Knocked out Cold”!!

Way 2:

Buy an iPad/iPhone or anything that starts with an i (except for i Pill). Since you now have a cool gadget, you’ll be known as a “cool” guy amongst your not-so-cool friends!

Way 3:

“Rasiyaaaa ♫ aa ja!!” Remember something? Yep, download and watch the slice ad by katerina 5-6 times. As my friend gurpreet says, “kaleje wich thandak aa jayegi!”
PS:
You can also watch some other things I can’t really suggest here.

Way 4:

Whenever a guest comes your home, hit him on the head and beat him with a stick. See, treat him cold-blooded, no “Warm Welcomes” this summer!!

Beat the Heat

Way 5:

Go watch titanic 3d. They have a lot of glaciers and icebergs in it. Feel cool. But don’t watch too much, you might wanna skip some HOT parts the movie had.

Way 6:

Listen to AC/DC, they’re cool. Watch djokowich play those sexy volleys, that’s cool. But please don’t watch a Chelsea match, that’s totally uncool, plus you might heat up seeing the way they play!

Way 7:

This one has actually worked for me a thousand times. Take around 5-6 ATM cards with you and go in the small ATM cabinets we have on roads. AC is free, plus if there are people outside, pretend that you are checking balance in all those cards, have fun!

Way 8:

Melons, watermelons, Ice, Icecream, sea breeze, Mango shake, chilled cold drink!!! It actually works, I know..! Just say these names while you want to save yourself the misery of going out in the heat and actually buy them. Such words work on your psychology and make you feel cool.

See that’s the reason I keep saying megan fox, Angelina jolie etc.. in my free time.

Way 9:

This one is for hostellers, go and have a bath for a change. It actually feels good, I am telling from my personal experience I had last week.

So I am done with my ways. If you don’t find any of those useful, read my blog, it’s cool! 😉

You got more? Feel free to comment. And do tell me which one of these you liked the most.

I’d again thank my co-author Ashish for being instrumental in framing this post. You would want to check out his blog too, which is by the way a way better blog then mine. Here goes, Guitar Guruji.

Hello… I have been a little busy, evident from the frequency of my blog posts. So what I did was to ask for help on my fanpage and surprisingly, I got a huge response when I asked for a co-author for my next post. Seeing that, I decided something, the month of april is going to be a co-authored post month.
And here is the first article in that series, from me and my co-author, a person known to many of you from “5 questions guys can’t answer”, Akanksha sharma! In this, we have tried to help out the other girls, in case they need some dating advice, basically, How to impress and ask a guy out!

What guys need? Is the basic question in every girl’s mind.
Well, in general they need a girl who is caring, understanding, funny and kinda intelligent. Forget what I said if you’re hot!

love is in the air

 

So here are some ways to help you get going into a guy’s heart. Remember, all the ways have not actually been tested, but legends say they work.

  • Now when your mother says “Way to a man’s heart is through his tummy” listen to her.
    Prepare His favourite dish for him (and if can’t, then order it from somewhere and tell him that you’ve made it for him). Once his mouth opens, he will say yes to anything you say, if you know what I mean.

    Alter: Just text him that you like him!

 

 

  • Wait for your birthday. Guys love asking a girl what she wants for her birthday. Ask for a special b’day gift, and now ask him out (and if he is confused then use the weapon known as “Emotional Blackmail”).

 

Alter: Just text him that you like him!

 

 

  • Try to be close to him for some time. Not chipku but close, there’s a difference, a mosquito is chipku who you just want to kill, a pug who you just pet is close. Now take that figuratively and read on. Befriend his mother! Hah ! that’s it, guys always like girls liked by their mothers.

Alter: You know! Just text him that you like him!

  • Watch his favourite movie even if you hate that to the core and use some of its dialogues on the timing. HE WILL FALL FOR YOU FOR SURE!!!
    Guys like the girls with similar choice. Now this task is tough for most girls because they’d generally not want to watch space movies and well… other types… of movies!

    Alter: Guess what!

  • In the pre historic times, when tribal women used to like a guy, they used to throw a bone at him to indicate their crush. Now things have changed, but man hasn’t. Throw him a bone. Not literally, dumb! Go and give him something, maybe a shirt or a sweater or… well, even a hanky would do, just embroider your and his name inside a little red heart. Beneath that, a kiss leaving your lipstick mark would add to the magic.
    This works when you’re really close. But when you’re really close and still not together, I’d advise to rethink.

    Alter: Did I become too serious there? This close thing is crap, just text him that you like him!

 

I know my ways were toooooo good. But still there might be some girls who would actually be looking forward to ask a guy out instead of just screwing around. So here’s a nice write up to help them. http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-a-Guy-Out

In the end, I would like to thank Akanksha for making this second co-authored post with me. Just like last time, it will be hard for her to find out what points she had actually written 😛

Next 4 posts will be co-authored as well, stay tuned and you’re gonna love it 😉

Relationships these days are different, Well at least for some!
So just this thought crossed my mind and here comes an imagination (Which I guess, might be true for many as well 😛 )
Have a look 🙂

 

I saw her face, was like GOD’s blessing,

couldn’t see more, thanks to her privacy settings..


I don’t generally do it, still added her with a nice message,

hoped she’ll like it and open her heart’s passage..


Came her reply, she asked me who,

A series of messages then followed through..


Adding and chatting then continued all along,

Sometimes just a hi and sometimes dedicating a song..

 

Her style was different, an attitude decent,

Beautiful she was, like the moon crescent..


We talked a lot, sometimes shared a joke,

sometimes a like, at times a post, and the “all the time” poke..!

 Relationship@facebookIt was going well, should ask her to meet, or at least the number, i thought,

didn’t really feel the need but it was worth giving a shot..

 

But One day we fought, couldn’t resolve it all,

thanks to a spam, something bad I had posted on her wall..


I apologised, didn’t poke her all day,

But she put an emotional status which got a 50 likes in its way..


I was clueless, didn’t know what to do,

then came a time when i was drunk, messaged something which i can’t undo..

 

You have many guy friends, they like all your updates, i had said,

What am i to you, just a “poke buddy”, I guess I was mad..


She was furious, blocked me as a result in pain,

I made many new profiles to see her, but alas! All in vain..

 

It was one nice phase, that ended just like it was created,

I don’t think I’ll see her again, my profile was DEACTIVATED!

After a long time, another Co-Authored post. Yes people, the bug is back, with one of my most regular readers, Gargi Trehan as my co-author this time. Have a look at the awesome journey she’s had bearing and I’ve had listening about “Tharkis”!

“Hey wassup? I know that you’re tired of people saying, “hiii there, you are cute, you are pretty, i like your smile, i like your eyes and stuff”…. and i can imagine how irritating it can be when someone out of nowhere jumps up and says “DO you wanna be my friend, or can i be your friend” and you feel like, DO i know you. Hence i would definitely not do the same, neither would i ask you to be my friend. All i shall say is why don’t we start a conversation and let friendship develop on it’s on? Ciao!”

So that’s how they talk! Yes, I am talking about the underrated, poor souls commonly known as “Tharkis”(ठरकी) and the word is also called “Lampat” (लम्पट) and “Despo” or “Desperate”. Yes I wrote it in Hindi because it gives a funny feeling reading that 😛

With my experiences, conversations and meetings with girls, I came to know this very interesting fact, that they constantly face such people in life. No matter how good-looking or how sensible the girl is (Which is rare, no offence), tharki people won’t stop hitting on them.

Now the question is, while every guy, one or the other time hits on some girl, every guy has to propose someone in his life, every person can fall in love, then how to identify the Tharki people in the crowd?
Well feel good because the bug has an answer for you.

Please don’t take the image literally 😛
So here are a few points that we came up with to help you identify a tharki.

  • They are generally of 4 levels.
    Level 1: Sophisticated and shy, but will not leave a chance once he’s frank and spam you with texts. Will hit on you with indirect ways and if by accident you tell him you’re single, one proposal your way. 
    Level 2: Might be ill mannered, talks a lot and will create chances to talk. (They also spam)
    Level 3: good thing, they don’t spam. Bad thing, They call!! They might have any of the qualities mentioned above, but it takes them 3 meetings to start hitting on you officially!
    Level 4: Eve teasing, Desperation, Open statuses, and whatever bigger things you can expect, put it there.
  • Every person can fall in love, but that is actually “Love”. If it’s a feeling of “I should have a girlfriend so let’s propose her”, then it’s a Tharki.
  • Obviously you will someday propose someone, but try that on 3 girls every month, and welcome to the world of Tharkis. (even 3 every year is a sign of the same)
  • Instead of being genuine and loving the girl they know, Tharki people try their luck on every girl. Reason: They need a girl, no choices there!
    Say on Facebook, Tharkis send sort of mugged up love letters in addition to friend request to make it sound good (A letter with which I started was a real one)
  • The Facebook Tharkis have a unique feature,  if accidentally their friend request gets accepted, they will religiously like every status of that gal even if it says “I am gonna die soon” and they will also like every other girl’s comment on the same status.
  • Very rightly said, They follow the tagline “bas naam he kaafi h” In case of hitting like button on gals status.
  • They are hardcore fans of Charlie sheen, though Charlie sheen is a Casanova and not a tharki, deep inside his heart, every tharki thinks of himself as Charlie sheen. Not to forget names like barney Stinson and joey tribbiani follow suit!
  • The best thing about Tharki people is their confidence, I just wish every engineer was this confident while giving his placement interview!
    Statistically proving the confidence, a Tharki, on an average, won’t take more than 3.7 minutes to ask for a girl’s phone number in the first chat!

So I guess there were a lot of things to let you know about them, some quick points to test the person on a “Tharki” scale.

  • Make a fake profile with a girl’s name and send him the friend request. If accepted without question, “Tharki”, moreover, if the DP was of some celeb, “MAHATHARKI”
  •  Ask the guy to close his eyes and take the first name (of a girl) that comes to his mind. A waiting time of more than 10 seconds, “Tharki”. A minute, “MAHATHARKI”
    (because there is a whole slideshow running in his mind, the best thing, none of those girls actually is going to be with him!) 
  •  Chat with him with someone else’s number, use a girl’s name and start getting personal. If he takes interest in return, without asking much about you, “Tharki”
  •  For girls: Give him your phone number, “9876543210”. If he tries calling, “Tharki”, if he knows the trick, he’s been a victim, “MAHATHARKI” and if he realizes it in a while, consider it normal and run other tests.

In the end, here is a Gyan Tip:

Remember, every guy in the world is born with a quality, a factor of attraction towards the opposite gender. Now when he feels it’s scarcity around, a fear of remaining single, a doubt on his qualities, all other friends getting committed, and above all, if he’s an engineer, Chances are that he’ll either become a Tharki or a Writer. (Hence
I finish any chances of you calling me the former).

So that’s it, for now, I hope I could impart you some knowledge and make you find out the differences between a genuine guy, a confused guy, a casanova and a Tharki. Once again I thank my Co-Author Gargi Trehan, a talented writer, an awesome guitarist and an intelligent commerce student. She gave me the real time experiences she had with the Tharki class people, which were instrumental in the post. You might want to read her blog GuitarGuruji as well.

PS: i know you want to ask, “Can’t girls be Tharki?” Obviously they can be, we’ll talk about that later 😉

This post has also been featured in the blog of TheWittyShit.com