Posts Tagged ‘TV’

According to our not-so-trusted sources, it’s a popular news in the country that our Planning commission ministers will be trying their luck in a new TV show named “32 se kam”. It’s a reality show based on the concept that they have to survive an entire week without spending more than Rs 32 a day.

Our efficient reporters were able to dig up more on this. The action is reportedly said to be taken after the great “Tendulkar Report” of the planning commission that People in urban areas who spend more than Rs. 32 a day will not be considered poor. According to the makers of the show, “It was really interesting to know that our leaders think that a common man can survive by just spending Rs. 32 a day which includes his daily requirements of Water, Electricity, Clothing and food!

In the show, the ministers will be fighting each other out to spend the least. Winner will be declared after the week after calculating the expanses of every minister. There are certain guidelines to them as per the report, like, they can’t spend more than Rs 5.5 per day on cereals which certainly deprives  them of  buying 100 grams of good quality rice and half a kg edible wheat flour.  They also won’t be spending more than Rs 2.3 on milk hence not even getting a proper toned milk which costs Rs 5-6 per 100 ml these days.

Reportedly, Warm up cum Preliminary round was taken up by the ministers of planning commission to see if they qualify for the competition. Though Most of them faced utter difficulties while coping up with the budget restriction, none of them showed it on his face thanks to their superb expression control, which might be because of their expression change in front of the voters.

Montek singh ahluwalia himself was eliminated from the competition after he was seen buying a banana which costs more than 44 paise. Shri Ashwini kumar faced elimination because he drank a Cup of coffee which contained sugar that apparently costs more than 70 paise.

Other ministers like A Raja, Suresh Kalmadi were also given wild card entries in the competition.
On detailed questioning, it was revealed that Raja gave a bribe of 32 crore to show that he can survive in 32 Rs a day while Kalmadi came in for free thanks to his name match with Suresh Tendulkar (Who by the way, is the Report incharge)

The supreme court seemed ok with the competition, according to officials, “We don’t have a problem with the competition…  it’s good that our ministers are trying.. it’s easy, that was the reason we approved the report. In fact even we want to take part in the competition, we are even thinking of taking the limit below Rs 30”

The producers of the show also cleared that the ministers won’t be allowed to spend more than Rs. 30 per month on health which is actually 30 paise more than what they have allowed for the common man. It should be noted that this means you will get to spend 99 paise per day on health though a Disprin costs more than Rs 1 !!
In other details, The ministers will also be given a 10 Rs note each to find a good footwear for the show.

According to the Latest BPL criteria given by the Tendulkar Committee report and followed by “32 se kam” Makers, the worst news related to the competition was that Dr Manmohan singh himself won’t be able to use his tube of Fair and Handsome cream which costs more than 30 Rs since he was allowed to spend only less than 29.6 per month on personal care.

Though the public was furious with the report but the decision of this competition has turned the tables and now they are eager to see what happens with all the ministers at the end of the week.

Now that the competition is about to start, we can only hope this might provide some sense to our ministers in the end.

Check this article on NTMN too 🙂
http://newsthatmattersnot.com/2011/09/new-reality-show-sawaal-32-ka-challenges-planning-commission-members-to-survive-on-rs-32-a-day.html

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The Movie Cum News

Hi… you know me right… why wouldn’t you!! You start your day with me, and most of you even end your day with me. Sometimes I make you happy and sometimes I am the reason of your sadness. Sometimes it’s just me and you… I am not your newspaper or TV! I am the news which you read in it.

There was a time when people used to read me from inner pages of newspaper and watch me other than prime time too! But now I am confined to front page and Page 3!
These days I have become monotonous, I find myself caged! I feel like people have forgotten what I used to look like. There was a time when people used to get excited when they heard I have arrived. There was a time when I used to be about different things. These days it’s just me and one hot trending topic. It’s like I am some person who doesn’t have his own house and keeps renting apartments… months get over and apartment changes, but I remain the same monotonous and not at all beneficial!
I remember those good old times when there was this one channel for me. Everyone watched that. I was so glad that I was given national importance. Only good people felt pride when I carried their name with me. I don’t know what changed with the course of time but I sure am not the same! Now it’s not a matter of pride to be named with me, but just another routine for some people. Good, bad, ugly, creepy, real, fake, talented, stupid, corrupts all kind of people are the same when it comes to me now. That one channel which glorified me, now even that refuses to mention me! People have made several homes for me now. U can see me everywhere and on tons of channels. But I am not what they show me.
I am news! I am about everything that happens near you. I am not a single trend, I am about the masses! I don’t wish to be about some superstar who can do every possible thing! I wish to be about someone who actually deserves to be a part of me.

I was happy when I first heard about anna hazare. Actually it brought a change in me, I was tired of talking about a cricket team losing all the time. But then what happened…

People forgot that there are other things in the world.
Sensex, my old time fellow which moved a million hearts with it all the time jumped up and down like crazies but no one gave a damn to it!
The losing team lost many more matches but no one cared!
The world champ usain bolt was disqualified from a race and no one seemed to know.
The famous indian tennis duo Bhupathi and Paes won a doubles title and anyone didn’t pay heed to that.

I remember how Wikileaks was once very important when I carried its name, it published so many new things but people weren’t bothered about it.
Everyone used to blabber so much about price hikes in Oil and Petrol… no one even knew when they raised it recently.
And above all, the MIG-21 used to be a big issue in India but when one of them crashed this month killing the pilot, I didn’t even hear a squeak !

All I want to say is that it’s good to support someone and to make that a news, but is it correct to just make that such a big issue that you turn deaf towards other topics which once used to have the same place? And on the same time you are giving importance to some weird girl getting some facelift and some idiot doing a fast just to gain fame (I am not talking about anna, he’s fine) or some crappy fellow doing his own swayamvar!

There were days when every issue had its own importance and people could pay attention to many things at a time. But now it’s like everything either has to be breaking news or nothing!
People sometimes say that most rape cases in India are in Delhi and U.P, I disagree to that… Most rape cases in India are on the TV channels where I am being raped daily! I am not what they show… I am a lot more than anna hazare and way more important than a swayamvar.
I am something that keeps you all aware and updated. Please don’t take me for granted. You need to understand my importance and give me a proper space. I am not only on the prime time on TV and not only on Front page and page 3! You can find me on other pages too…

I think I have said enough, hope you understood what I wanted to say… I might have got carried away at some point, kya karu… news hu na…! I don’t know how to express myself, I am generally expressed by some other reporters and newsreaders, not to mention I am being misinterpreted most of the time but I thought this was a high time to come forward and tell you all that I AM NEWS!! And I am A LOT MORE THAN ANNA!!!

Author’s note: –  Pardon the different title, I just matched it with the movie name coz I could not instil much humour in the article acc. to its genre.

On the occasion of the 64th Independence Day, the Govt. has decided to declare the whole week (15th – 21st ) as independence special week in India. Under the special arrangements made by the government for this week, the biggest one is Exclusive footage of Dr. manmohan singh. Other benefits include 1 paisa relaxation in petrol price and a 3 minute ban on Rakhi sawant speaking anything publically.

Back to the Footage part, According to our sources, in some of the video clips, Manmohan Singh is seen talking.  Reports also say that a video called “Dhamaka Video” will also be released by the centre in which PM has even said a few words to MADAM JI herself.

When our reporters asked our very (un)respected leaders about the matter, here’s what they said…

Digvijay singh: I know about the video. In fact I was the one who recorded one of those (he also showed us his new E7 phone). And about the Dhamaka video, well the public might just have to wait for it.

Sushma Swaraj: Pradhan mantri ji ki is karastani ka hume pahle se shak tha. In fact I also think that he had his opinion on the Mumbai blasts too, though we don’t have a proof yet.

Soniya Gandhi: this is all a conspiracy by foreign powers just to degrade the image of Manmohan Ji. Neither he has spoken and nor will he ever speak unless asked. She agreed to the independence special week celebrations but she also said that those celebrations were just to intensify her India-Return celebrations.

Rahul Gandhi: its more than a hoax this time. I smell something fishy here but I don’t think that any such videos will affect our public image. In fact a few that I have personally seen, will just add to it.

Sheila: I am too sexy for you, mai tere hath na aani!!! (that was her phone which rang before the interview could start and she found an escape)

Manmohan ji decided to remain silent over the whole issue.

The general public seems to be very excited about the video. According to an email by One of our readers, it would be really nice to see Manmohan ji speak on occasions other than 15th august and 26th jan.  After the famous Hrithik-Aishwarya kiss in Dhoom2, the Dhamaka video has become the most Awaited and unpredictable thing in our country.

Since this seems to be one of the very few steps of government which has pleased the general public, we are hopeful that release of these videos might also be a start of a new era where we’ll also see our leader speak (something awaited since the second last elections! )