Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Him and her.

Posted: April 2, 2015 in English, Poems
Tags: , , , ,

If you liked A Facebook Relationship, this is one more such attempt. Hope you like it too 🙂

Happy, she put on her favorite dress, the finest lipstick she had. Sad, he threw the shoe away, and lay down on the bed.

Happy, she made the best Pasta ever, he’d like it, she thought. Sad, he forgot to bring the roses she thought he’d already bought.

Happy, she had a lot to talk about, confused where to start. Sad, he wanted to keep quiet and listen to Mozart.

Happy, she wanted to hop on him as he came, and kiss him the best way she could. Sad, he just wanted to hug her, and kiss her back if she would.

Happy, she had a news to share, and an idea in mind. Sad, he’d even say no to sex today, proving the first of his kind.

Happy, she called him, waiting for him to respond. Sad, he didn’t notice his phone, and her calls of which he was fond.

Happy, she saw him as he entered the door, but the energy wasn’t there. Sad, he saw her jumping like a kid, even in his despair.

Happy, she wanted him to be happy too, but something seemed wrong. Sad, he could see how excited she was, maybe he could play along.

Sad, he still smiled, knowing she wanted him to. Sad, she toned hers down, knowing he didn’t want to.

Happy, he kissed her first, assuring her his love and care. Happy, she held his hand, telling him she was there.

Also, I was recently told that posting a good comment adds two healthy years to your life. No harm in trying, right? 🙂

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Are you ready?” Steve shouted… “You take more time than girls!” He taunted waiting for Victor inside his messy flat as usual.

C’mon Stevie! We’re late by 5 minutes. It’s not the end of the world! Relax…” Victor said in his casual carefree tone. Almost laughing at Steve’s concern.

Do you really think Jessica will mind me getting late after doing it herself every freaking time?” Victor continued… “I am just a little worried of how things will go!

Really? The super confident, Mr. I-don’t-care-about-the-world Victor Ericson… You’re saying you’re worried about something?

Easy smart ass… I am just worried about her… how she will react to my surprise. I don’t want to ruin her birthday!

So you’re worried if she’ll say a yes or no… right?” Steve asked again.

Maybe… can we talk about this later?” Victor almost nettled.

Let’s just leave and we can decide what to do in the way. And believe me, everything will be fine.” Steve smiled and moved out of the house, pulling Victor with him.

—-

“So… What is the plan?” Steve asked.

It was Jessica’s birthday. Jessica, the love of Victor’s life. She was Steve’s friend from High School, she met Victor in Steve’s birthday party. And Mr. Magnificent Victor didn’t take a second in asking her out. There was something about him that made her say a yes. Since that day they never had a problem. With a friend like Steve, things were just too good to be true. They were together for almost nine years and with every passing year Victor was falling deeper in love with her.

“Well… the plan is simple!” a grin covered Victor’s face.

“What?”

“We kill the batman!” he laughed.

“Dude! Be serious! And FYI, that was the worst joker mimicry of all times!” Steve shouted.

“Then stop asking lame questions!! What has to be the plan? We wish her, we party, we dance and then you stop becoming a third wheel and leave the two of us alone in a romantic dinner which you have arranged so I can give her the birthday present and propose her to marry me!”  Victor said in a breath.

“Wow! So now I can ask, are you sure she’s going to say a yes?”

“I hope she does. That’s where the girls win over the freaking world, don’t they?” Victor said…

“For all I know, you two are a perfect match. She will say a yes for sure… Just think about it, what would have happened had I not thrown that party!?” Steve reassured Victor.

“I wouldn’t have met her in the first place. So yeah, all in all a good life.” Victor laughed again. He loved teasing people. Specially the two most important people in his life, Jessica and Steve.

—-

It was all arranged. A romantic dinner, a mix tape of her favorite songs in the place she loved the most. Her favorite lilies, both in red and white as she liked.

The place was just right for the occasion, with a romantic ambience, dim lights and a slow music in the background. Her best friend and love… A strong bond of so many years… How could she possibly say a no tonight!

“Well… we’ve waited for two hours! She is nowhere to be seen! Even her phone is off!” Victor said… a little worried.

“It just proves that she is as lazy as you. Congrats, you found your match.” It was Steve’s turn to laugh.

“C’mon man, I am worried. Did you try calling her? Try again please.”

“Alright! Relax…” Steve said as he dialed her number again.

He returned after a few minutes. “Bad news bro! She can’t make it. Her aunt is real sick and she had to go to her place. Sorry!” Steve said as his smile turned into a frown.

“Oh crap!”

“I know you’re worried about her aunt. We can’t even go see her, she lives too far from here.”

“Dude! I am sad that all these arrangements went in vain. I was going to propose to her today!” Victor said, looking at Steve, perplexed.

“Yeah… and a lot of money wasted too…” Steve added.

“No that’s on you. I didn’t spend a penny.” Victor laughed. “Anyway, let’s go. No network here in my phone anyway, I’ll call her when we get home.”

As they were on their way back, Steve stopped the car.

“You stay, I’ll come back in a minute.”

“Sure.” Victor said as Steve went out to soon be out of his sight.

“Hey. I hope you know how much he loves you and needs you. I wish I could change things, but I can’t. I miss you.” Steve said in a very low voice. His face was doleful… he tried to control but that one tear still managed to escape his eye. He stepped ahead and put the lilies near the stone… the stone which said. Jessica Clark (1988 – 2011).

Two years back, on this very day, Victor had planned to propose Jessica as her birthday gift. Steve had made all the arrangements when he got the news that Jessica met with an accident on her way to the restaurant and died on the spot. Composed as ever, Steve managed to bear the news but it was too much for Victor. For him it was a trauma that has held him since that day. His life continued to almost be the same, except for the fact that he could never bring himself to face the truth that Jessica was no more. For him, every year was the same as that year. Life for him, was just a repetitive event.

“Man you took time! Got a secret girlfriend there?” Victor mocked as Steve made his way back in the car.

“No. But I wish what you say becomes true soon.” Steve laughed, hiding everything else beneath that smile… as they rode back towards home.

friendship

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.

Aristotle.

Thanks for reading. This story has been published in the January issue of the Storizen Magazine. You can read the awesome mag here: http://issuu.com/storizen/docs/jan2014

I wonder why I didn’t say it enough earlier. Probably you always made it look like it wasn’t required. David thought to himself. That’s what he wanted to write. He didn’t have enough courage to say it. It was hard for him to pen down on all his feelings. Not only was it the first time he was actually writing something, expressing so much was also new to him.

He continued to write.
“It was you who always said it’s never too late to do or say anything. Hope you’ll understand the reason I am late as well. I remember how you used to take care of me when I was a kid. I didn’t even realize you had to cut down your budgets just to get me that video game I always wanted. We were poor, even my daily milk was a liability on us. I don’t know why I never thought that why we stopped getting newspaper the day I took admission to middle school. The only thing I knew was how to start crying when I liked something someone else had and I didn’t. I never thought what all father had to go through to earn that much money so that you could get that thing to me. From ice creams to that batman dress, I think I used to cry a lot!”
A little smile crept David’s face as he remembered himself wearing that batman dress. It soon vanished when he also remembered how his mother wanted to take his picture in that but they didn’t have a camera.

mother-child-holding-hands-490x326

He glanced at the letter once… then resumed…

“I’ve heard many people say that their mother is the best in the world. And probably they’re all right. After all, who except a mother can bear so much pain for so many months and then continue not to give up when it crosses the excruciating limits while giving birth. And that is the only time when someone coming from so much pain smiles seeing the result of it. A child, no matter how thankful and loving, can’t ever payback what his parents do for him. You did that all for me, and never made me feel anything even once.
When I wanted to go out of town for higher studies, you cried that day. The pain of separation from me was unbearable for you. But you didn’t let me know about that. For me you were always that strong woman who could fight the world for me and not let me feel a thing. It’s only today I know all of that.

Sometimes I think why did I not realize this, when I was sensible enough to realize what I wanted for my life and how to take my career forward. Hell… I even made sure my girlfriend was always happy. Why did you, the only one who always unconditionally loved me, have to face all that!?

I was successful… Probably more than you ever wished for. This success wouldn’t have been possible if it wasn’t for you, who made sure I never lacked courage in my life. But still, you weren’t the first one to know when I got my first client in business. I am not sure if a sorry would fill up even a bit of the huge void I created in all this time… but I want to know what I can do. I am clueless ma! And ironically, you’re the only one I can look up to.”

His eyes were moist by this time. Although he was happy inside that finally he was letting it all out.

“Just like many other kids in the world, I was selfish, senseless and not as loving as you. In the shadow of your love, I probably never saw what the actual heat of hardships felt like. Despite of all those troubles, you gave me all you could. And foolish me, I thought sending you money once I earn enough of it was enough to repay all you did for me.

Now that I think about it, I couldn’t even repay that with my life.

I know it is too selfish of me to ask something even now, the time when I feel you deserved a lot better than what I did. But I am still going to be that stupid kid one more time, and say it. I need you. I am too sad ma…! Just solve everything like you always did.”

David still thought it was incomplete. Then he wrote one last line. “I brought your favorite flowers, lilies. Love you.”

David got up, went a little forward and put the letter down; on his mother’s grave. He looked at it; a little tear fell down from his eyes on to the letter, completing it now.

 

You… yes… you! I am talking to you bozo! Where do you think you are going? Just because I didn’t write anything funny for a month, you think you can just unsubscribe! Not that easy buttercup.

And because you had such a lame idea of moving away from this blog, not only I spammed you and brought you back, I’ll also make sure you read this another post filled up of my useless experience and aimless sarcasm.
Also, I heard that while no updates were here, guys were actually able to go on perfect dates… now we can’t let that happen, can we?!

We all love gifts. Girls, to be specific, love gifts on every occasion… like their birthdays, results, first meeting anniversaries, marriage anniversaries, their pet’s birthday, cousin’s marriage, when they look good (to appreciate), when they are not looking good (to cheer up), when they feel good (to celebrate), when they’re not feeling good (to make them feel good) etc. etc. etc.

This post is about choosing a gift. Since ages man has struggled to choose the perfect gift for his dream girl… or well… any girl for that matter.  All this started when Adam chose the first wrong gift for Eve, the apple. And the humanity came into existence after that! Since then, he sometimes gifted a stone and sometimes a wheel, sometimes a radio and sometimes some junk of steel. But women! Will they ever know how important these things actually were! All they could see was how ugly those things were.

All in all, the world has developed and so has man… umm… a little bit. So we now understand what women want (Or at least we pretend we do). So how should we choose a gift? Let’s start with your girlfriend. (Imagine one; I know you don’t have it in real.)

You know every girl has that one guy who she loved but could never get. And one guy who was crazy about her and could never get her. And then there’s you who accidentally slipped a text saying I love you to her instead of her hot friend who you actually aimed for. Well, while the first guy is the lucky one, our aim is to find the second guy.
You know him? Brilliant!
Catch him and ask him what he would give to her as a present.
Make a list of everything he says. Congrats, you now have a list you can cut off from the options.  Well there was a reason he couldn’t get her, wasn’t there!

Next up: Find a shop. Cosmetics is the easiest way to go, so dig a little deeper, do some research, consult some female friends, watch some ads and well… buy the product that is displayed on the poster outside the mall. This isn’t your final gift, this is to accompany the major one in case she gets pissed off at that, which, let’s face it, she will.

Now, major gift. We have many options. Dedicating a poem, making a scrapbook, singing a song or making a mix tape of her favorite songs, this is what you do when you’re broke and she’s mad about you. Otherwise go the classic way, shed some bucks!

In that category, we put the gifts that wealthy people give. Like, throwing her a surprise party (this way you’ll also get to talk privately to the hot friend), giving her a day off in a luxury spa or maybe giving her treat at the best restaurant of the city.

Now here’s where I come to your rescue. Now who wants to spend money when there is an easy way out! Since ages, man has ignored one fact that every woman knows about him, that he is stupid when it comes to understanding women. He can be a rocket scientist, a top-notch percussionist, a world-famous writer or maybe a gold medalist athlete, but he is stupid. And we don’t have to be embarrassed about that, because frankly, who has even tried!

So when you don’t understand her, you won’t obviously know what kind of food she will prefer on her b’day night or what friends she’d like to invite in her birthday party. Now here are two ways to get that done.

1)      The hard work: This is the one you’re gonna say you used. Here you talk to her for an hour daily, make a list of her favorite things and her best friends, ask her every freaking detail about her choices and obviously, getting her a mix tape of her favorite songs. (What’s with girls and Enrique I’ll never know, right!?)

2)      The hot friend: This is the one you’re actually gonna use. Remember everything you had to do? Just make a list and ask her hottest (and the best) friend to do the honors. You just make the tape and get the credit.

Some pointers here. You see every group of girls has that one hot girl on whom everyone tries his luck. And we all know your girlfriend ain’t that girl. So if you have trouble finding the best hot friend, either you are with her (Which is not possible) or this group doesn’t have that girl (in that case, you’re a moron and I forbid you from reading further!)

To all the girls who are mad at me, isn’t this girl cute? 😀

If in case you forgot to think of a gift well before the occasion, do one of these things. Open any collage making software, find 4-8 pictures of her and scramble them on a mushy background. Decorate it with some stars, bells, maybe a santa hat and get it printed. Stick a chocolate above, good to go!

In case you have to wish belated. Get ready with a 20 minute long speech of why you could not wish her on time since your very important interview and bad health struck at the same time. And then with the aforementioned gift, stick a sorry card and one “best girlfriend” card too.

Girls, who have been wondering that how none of this post was true and how they don’t like gifts this way and how feelings matter more and how they’d prefer a simple message over an expensive necklace, I whole heartily apologize for spreading such nonsense, but this will get you better gifts from now on.

Anyway, this post is over, as you all know I am a published author now. This Tuesday you’ll get to see my book online. Do buy it, though I won’t recommend gifting that to your partner 😉

First of all, a whole hearted thank you to my readers. The month of april was a month of co-authored posts, and i was overwhelmed by the huge response i got. Just 4 posts collecting over 3000 views and 50+ shares with over 350 facebook likes and 100+ twitter mentions. Since i have nothing else but my articles to give to you, here’s another one, totally written by me. Have a look 🙂


So that’s a general problem, guys always worry about this thing, rest all is good but what to do when their girlfriend/wife asks for shopping. 3 quick things that come to mind are

a) Waste of money

b) Waste of time

c) And oh… Waste of money..!

And frankly, who enjoys shopping in a girls department carrying her bags. All we enjoy is… Well… Guys already know that and girls don’t want to know that!

So here are some tips to help you out while going shopping with her. Though the article is basically for guys, girls can read it and thrash me like they did when i wrote their resume 😛

1. When she buys clothes.

Positive points:

  • You can check out other “stuff” while she’s trying on the clothes.
  • You can check out the score on that lcd tv while she is busy trying (man she takes time)

Negative points:

  • You are standing in a ladies’ department carrying a bag!

And yes, don’t forget to praise her as soon as she’s out. (Must do)

2. When she is buying nail paint/perfume.

Positive points:

  • You get to smell something good in case of perfume and in case of nail paint, you can go try that yourself (hey your nails would look fancy!)
  • You get to console yourself for the fact that her nail paint isn’t as costly as the top she just bought.

Negative points:

  • You are standing in a ladies’ department carrying a bag!

3. When she is buying grocery.

Positive points:

  • That’s where you come in, tell her you’re in charge and you wish to have soup tomorrow. Ok i am kidding, just stand behind her while she picks up all the necessary items, but yeah you can always add that pack of maggie to the basket
  • These days malls have those game cds and LCDs and sofas, don’t forget to use them.

Negative points:

  • You are standing in a ladies’ department carrying a bag! Seriously, think about it!

4. For anything else.

Just remember

  • What she picked is good (even when we all know it’s not).
  • Whatever you liked is your choice and not an implication that she’ll buy it.
  • Again, what she picked HAS to be good!

Just like way to a man’s heart is through his tummy (don’t know who said that), way to a woman’s heart is through a man’s wallet.

And also, good things come in small packages, shopping isn’t a good thing, so be ready to carry big packages!

Kinda short n precise, I guess that’s it for now, I’ve told you enough. All the best taking her shopping! 😀

Hello… I have been a little busy, evident from the frequency of my blog posts. So what I did was to ask for help on my fanpage and surprisingly, I got a huge response when I asked for a co-author for my next post. Seeing that, I decided something, the month of april is going to be a co-authored post month.
And here is the first article in that series, from me and my co-author, a person known to many of you from “5 questions guys can’t answer”, Akanksha sharma! In this, we have tried to help out the other girls, in case they need some dating advice, basically, How to impress and ask a guy out!

What guys need? Is the basic question in every girl’s mind.
Well, in general they need a girl who is caring, understanding, funny and kinda intelligent. Forget what I said if you’re hot!

love is in the air

 

So here are some ways to help you get going into a guy’s heart. Remember, all the ways have not actually been tested, but legends say they work.

  • Now when your mother says “Way to a man’s heart is through his tummy” listen to her.
    Prepare His favourite dish for him (and if can’t, then order it from somewhere and tell him that you’ve made it for him). Once his mouth opens, he will say yes to anything you say, if you know what I mean.

    Alter: Just text him that you like him!

 

 

  • Wait for your birthday. Guys love asking a girl what she wants for her birthday. Ask for a special b’day gift, and now ask him out (and if he is confused then use the weapon known as “Emotional Blackmail”).

 

Alter: Just text him that you like him!

 

 

  • Try to be close to him for some time. Not chipku but close, there’s a difference, a mosquito is chipku who you just want to kill, a pug who you just pet is close. Now take that figuratively and read on. Befriend his mother! Hah ! that’s it, guys always like girls liked by their mothers.

Alter: You know! Just text him that you like him!

  • Watch his favourite movie even if you hate that to the core and use some of its dialogues on the timing. HE WILL FALL FOR YOU FOR SURE!!!
    Guys like the girls with similar choice. Now this task is tough for most girls because they’d generally not want to watch space movies and well… other types… of movies!

    Alter: Guess what!

  • In the pre historic times, when tribal women used to like a guy, they used to throw a bone at him to indicate their crush. Now things have changed, but man hasn’t. Throw him a bone. Not literally, dumb! Go and give him something, maybe a shirt or a sweater or… well, even a hanky would do, just embroider your and his name inside a little red heart. Beneath that, a kiss leaving your lipstick mark would add to the magic.
    This works when you’re really close. But when you’re really close and still not together, I’d advise to rethink.

    Alter: Did I become too serious there? This close thing is crap, just text him that you like him!

 

I know my ways were toooooo good. But still there might be some girls who would actually be looking forward to ask a guy out instead of just screwing around. So here’s a nice write up to help them. http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-a-Guy-Out

In the end, I would like to thank Akanksha for making this second co-authored post with me. Just like last time, it will be hard for her to find out what points she had actually written 😛

Next 4 posts will be co-authored as well, stay tuned and you’re gonna love it 😉