Posts Tagged ‘News’

Hello Everyone, Here is something as a gift for all of you. A post on the very first day of the new year. Read it and blame yourself for reading it later.

Just like every other year, this one has also gone away into history. But 2011 did make a lot of differences in many lives. We lost some (Jagjit Singh, Shammi Kapoor, Steve Jobs, Dev Anand, Dennis Ritchie), while some arrived into the world (Aishwarya’s daughter and 50 million other kids). We saw big things (Anna’s fast) and some small things (Ra.One’s cast).

But just like every other year, we are left with the same hopes (and the same failed government). Though it’s just a matter of one digit—2011 to 2012—which won’t change anything, but there’s one thing that we can always expect the next year to be better in. NEWS! Seeing the trends 2011 is leaving us with, here is something I think, can become the news of 2012.
Let’s start with the Hero of 2011. Anna Hazare is the obvious choice. If you don’t vote for Poonam Pandey as the Heroine of 2011, she can readily strip for you and your views will change. So now there’s high probability that the hero and heroine will join together in 2012 to do, well, whatever they do! While Anna performs his fasting, PP could strip so that the Anna fans do not get bored!

Seeing the popularity of Sharad Pawar since he was slapped, I think it’s high time, the PM should declare ‘Slapping’ as the National Action. Who knows, we might see the National Slap Day being observed, where politicians volunteer to be slapped and get Facebook promotions in return!

Another super popular thing this year was Kolaveri. Seeing the popularity, some underrated soul might use it for their fame. Don’t tell anyone but our secret sources report that Manmohan Singh is planning to sing the silent version of Kolaveri Di, to be released on his birthday next year.

Abhishek and Aishwarya were blessed with a baby girl this year. And I don’t see either of them having any work these days. So don’t be surprised to see a little Abhishek next year. After all idea 3G can’t help round the year!  😉

The biggest question 2011 is leaving us with is Sachin’s 100th century. And the way he has played, I guess in 2012, he will surely hit a hundred (of nervous nineties)! (No offence to Sachin fans, even I am one)

Bollywood might see some big things next year. Mahesh Bhatt has already signed Sunny Leone for his next movie. Bored by usual ways of promotion, he has decided to do in public, what Sunny will do in a movie. So the public will now get to see Mahesh Bhatt doing the same things he does on TV: shirtless!

"Should I go shirtless?"

"Should I go shirtless?"

The Bharat Ratna will also be another much discussed thing the next year since it is now open to sportspersons. Now that sportsmen can get it, I think Vinod Kambli will be its first recipient in 2012. Oh c’mon, the guy speaks the truth and he has played cricket if you remember! (Tell me you do!)

Next year, we’ll also see the Swayamvar of Veena Malik. Any guesses on who is the unlucky one to be her would-be? Well, The bug has the answer for you. News is that our unmarried former Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee would be going to try his luck, not because he likes her, but he wants Indo-Pak harmony.

Next year we’ll also see some big developments in other sports of India. Since we’ll be seeing the London Olympics, the government is going to buy new hockey sticks for the players and they promise none of them will be broken this time. Reports also say that our athletes might get a new track to practise. (The Government didn’t want the Janpath to be crowded by practising racers!)

As for the last and the best news, the biggest trend of 2012 is going to be the one and only RAJINIKANTH! As he is the one who will save the world on the Doomsday!

Well, we’re done with what is going to be the NEWS of 2012. We all have seen a lot this year, and on a serious note, I wish this year we can see better governance and a few stable policies. Please don’t say you laughed more on this point!

Oh yeah, HAPPY NEW YEAR 🙂

Happy New Year

 

PS: You can also see the post on NTMN.

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The Movie Cum News

Hi… you know me right… why wouldn’t you!! You start your day with me, and most of you even end your day with me. Sometimes I make you happy and sometimes I am the reason of your sadness. Sometimes it’s just me and you… I am not your newspaper or TV! I am the news which you read in it.

There was a time when people used to read me from inner pages of newspaper and watch me other than prime time too! But now I am confined to front page and Page 3!
These days I have become monotonous, I find myself caged! I feel like people have forgotten what I used to look like. There was a time when people used to get excited when they heard I have arrived. There was a time when I used to be about different things. These days it’s just me and one hot trending topic. It’s like I am some person who doesn’t have his own house and keeps renting apartments… months get over and apartment changes, but I remain the same monotonous and not at all beneficial!
I remember those good old times when there was this one channel for me. Everyone watched that. I was so glad that I was given national importance. Only good people felt pride when I carried their name with me. I don’t know what changed with the course of time but I sure am not the same! Now it’s not a matter of pride to be named with me, but just another routine for some people. Good, bad, ugly, creepy, real, fake, talented, stupid, corrupts all kind of people are the same when it comes to me now. That one channel which glorified me, now even that refuses to mention me! People have made several homes for me now. U can see me everywhere and on tons of channels. But I am not what they show me.
I am news! I am about everything that happens near you. I am not a single trend, I am about the masses! I don’t wish to be about some superstar who can do every possible thing! I wish to be about someone who actually deserves to be a part of me.

I was happy when I first heard about anna hazare. Actually it brought a change in me, I was tired of talking about a cricket team losing all the time. But then what happened…

People forgot that there are other things in the world.
Sensex, my old time fellow which moved a million hearts with it all the time jumped up and down like crazies but no one gave a damn to it!
The losing team lost many more matches but no one cared!
The world champ usain bolt was disqualified from a race and no one seemed to know.
The famous indian tennis duo Bhupathi and Paes won a doubles title and anyone didn’t pay heed to that.

I remember how Wikileaks was once very important when I carried its name, it published so many new things but people weren’t bothered about it.
Everyone used to blabber so much about price hikes in Oil and Petrol… no one even knew when they raised it recently.
And above all, the MIG-21 used to be a big issue in India but when one of them crashed this month killing the pilot, I didn’t even hear a squeak !

All I want to say is that it’s good to support someone and to make that a news, but is it correct to just make that such a big issue that you turn deaf towards other topics which once used to have the same place? And on the same time you are giving importance to some weird girl getting some facelift and some idiot doing a fast just to gain fame (I am not talking about anna, he’s fine) or some crappy fellow doing his own swayamvar!

There were days when every issue had its own importance and people could pay attention to many things at a time. But now it’s like everything either has to be breaking news or nothing!
People sometimes say that most rape cases in India are in Delhi and U.P, I disagree to that… Most rape cases in India are on the TV channels where I am being raped daily! I am not what they show… I am a lot more than anna hazare and way more important than a swayamvar.
I am something that keeps you all aware and updated. Please don’t take me for granted. You need to understand my importance and give me a proper space. I am not only on the prime time on TV and not only on Front page and page 3! You can find me on other pages too…

I think I have said enough, hope you understood what I wanted to say… I might have got carried away at some point, kya karu… news hu na…! I don’t know how to express myself, I am generally expressed by some other reporters and newsreaders, not to mention I am being misinterpreted most of the time but I thought this was a high time to come forward and tell you all that I AM NEWS!! And I am A LOT MORE THAN ANNA!!!

Author’s note: –  Pardon the different title, I just matched it with the movie name coz I could not instil much humour in the article acc. to its genre.