Posts Tagged ‘Government’

“I am sorry, but the bridge can’t get the foundation it needs there, it might even fall”

“But we need it, it will be a gold mine.”

“I can’t risk people’s lives”

“Why don’t you give me your bank account number?”

 
And the bridge stood there for a year.
110 died later when it collapsed.

bribe

An attempt in the 55-Fiction Genre. Hope you like it.

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Hello government, You suck!!! Just when i was ready to post about the 5 message limit, you extended it to twenty!!! :/
But guess what, this is MY blog… I’ll post whatever I want. So go ahead. 😛

So this is my take on the recent ban on text messaging. After Christopher Nolan’s ‘ban’e, this is the next ban India is talking about. Actually saying a ban isn’t right, it is a restriction, now you can’t send more than five twenty messages each day. But for youngsters like us, this is even worse than a ban. Imagine a situation when your girlfriend got pissed off right after the fifth twentieth message. Or you accidentally sent a wrong message and you don’t have one left to say sorry.

The most grief stricken are the students who used to laugh at their crotch during lectures, i.e. texted with the mobiles hidden behind the desks. Now they’ll have to actually attend the lectures!! I pity those who now cannot send me the messages saying a poor girl will get a dollar if I forward that to 10 people. Poor people! That was the sole way of entertainment in their otherwise worthless life.

Here are a few jokes that occur to my mind while I hear about the restriction and people’s reactions to it.

  • Now that you can send five messages per day, maybe guys will be able to figure out which girl is the one. OR at least narrow down the list to five!
  • So the government wants to prevent hate messages. Are we allowed to send five hate messages per day?
  • Earlier they used to say “Dear girls, if a guy pauses a game to send you a message, marry him.” Now I think we should change it to, “Dear girls, if a guy sends you a message, marry him”.
  • For me the perfect couple now is the one in which they send all five messages to each other.
  • In case a girl replies to your two texts in a row, believe me guys, it’s time you should tell her your feelings. (I know you feel since you texted her twice as well.)
  • For those who are happy since they didn’t have a message pack earlier as well, BEWARE! These people, after recovering from the trauma of this restriction, might start studying/working and beat you!!
  • The government is very thoughtful; they put a restriction on messaging right after they said they’ll provide free phones to villagers. This way they will refuse to take one!
  • Do you know which the latest Rajinikanth joke is these days?
    Rajinikanth can send six messages a day.
    Do you know why haven’t you heard about this?
    No one sends forwards now!
  • Now most roadies contestants don’t know if eid was this Sunday or Monday. Since they didn’t get any ‘happy eid’ message.
  • Whatsapp is the new replacement for text messaging. While it’s number of downloads have increased twofold in the past week, there were a few hundred broken phones with ‘bada’ OS found in trash.
  • While everyone is busy blaming the government for five message restriction, no one noticed that V.V.S Laxman retired from Test Cricket. Those who did, unfortunately couldn’t send chain forwards about it.
  • Multiple Sim phones are also becoming popular now so that people can send more than 5 texts a day. Probably after the ban is lifted, we’ll have lots of fraud cases to deal with. What a planning by the government!
  • The new company schemes are something like that. “Recharge with a 15 day message pack worth Rs 25, get a talk time of 15 and data pack of 1 gb free.”
  • Now the classic excuse of getting a girl’s number, “I have to go now, why don’t you text me” won’t work. Guys need to change their ways, temporarily at least.
  • The last one: How many jokes did I say? Fifteen, I bet this is more than the number of texts you sent in last two days. 😛 (This one still holds true if you haven’t send more than 10 texts today 😛  )

So how big is the effect of this restriction on your life? Tell me. Did you awkwardly keep staring on your mobile screen wanting the failed text to try one more time? Or you are spending way too much time on Facebook and Twitter now? I believe none of you can say that you didn’t try resending the sixth message when it happened for the first time.

From my side, I’d like to give a few suggestions to our government. Don’t remove the restriction, life seems peaceful now. At least people realize the importance of meeting and calling. For those who are far, we do have social networks to stay in touch. And in case you want to increase the restrictions, make it at most 2 statuses per day on Facebook. The people blabbering about this restriction are becoming way too annoying now.

And a few more restrictions can be on the number of likes every day. This way not ALL girls will get them and we’ll know who are the most intellectual hottest ones.

This is it. Feel free to tell me how you liked the article. Comment here, share if you like. And well… Text me 😛