Posts Tagged ‘football’

Before you go ahead, I must warn you, this post is just a rant. But then again, I must have forced you to read it, what choice do you have!

This month has been good for many reasons. To start with, I completed my first year on Quora this month. And just when I thought I wasn’t getting enough visibility, my Quora stats touched a million views. That’s 1 followed by six zeros by the way, took me a while to believe. Not only that, I got my 1000th follower as well this month, which is not much compared to some users but for my mom it was something to laugh about for more than 10 minutes! June 2014 also marks the beginning of the World cup Football, my love for which is not a secret. And to add to it, my performance in office too was less dismal as compared to last few months.

But that isn’t why I write this post. There has been something much closer to my heart and more important than anything else for me. Something that marks the onset of my writing which has nothing but improved in the recent years. And this June of 2014, that very thing, ABugInMyMind, crossed a 100,000 views. Now pageviews is something highly controversial and most bloggers tend not to be affected by it. But when it is about something so dear to you, why not post about it, right?

 

ABugInMyMind

 

 

ABugInMyMind is not just a blog, it has been way more than that for me. A platform to tell people my thoughts that have no value anywhere else, a place to display my otherwise useless creativity and most importantly, a place where I go to when I want to take a small break from this world (the other option would be a coma which I wouldn’t prefer). Next month, i.e, July 2014, it will complete 3 years in the world of blogging. Not a long time for a blog of course, but yet it makes me feel old.

I’d take this moment to thank all the readers, friends and followers, in short all 3 of you who were supportive in this journey of writing. Kidding, there are more people of course, 5! Now being realistic, the blog has indeed made its place in the blogosphere with thousands of social media mentions and over 600 followers. The numerous posts that were recognized time to time are just a mark of the love the amazing friends of mine have shown to it. I can only hope that as life puts me to different tests, the blog continues the way it goes and does not stop. The last few months haven’t been productive for me in terms for writing, but here it is, a promise that it ends now. Not the writing, the drought. I’ll make sure the blog never runs out of new posts and write more frequently to get that old taste back.

It’s about time to end this blob of rants and free you from the clutches of this deceptive display of jactitation. Although before you go, why not take a look at my Quora profile. I am working on making it better bit by bit.

Again, thank you for this.

Again, thank you for this.

Disclaimer: None of the contents in the article is meant to offend any individual/group/community. I hope you would read it in the same spirit and don’t mind the words.
Still if you mind it, I am really sorry for your sad attitude and your family and relatives who have to tolerate you.

Hello, Ladies, Gentlemen and Chelsea fans. By my previous articles, my love for football is pretty much clear to everyone. So on a popular demand, here I present to you a Football special article.

Now those 85% of my readers, who think they should skip this one, DON’T!! Why? Simple, because I won’t be using any football terminologies or anything you won’t understand. I am just expressing a simple view of a football fanatic for the rare, unfortunate, underprivileged and a disgruntled species called Chelsea fans!!
(PS: all those who don’t know about Chelsea, replace the name with your worst enemy’s)

Let there be light. Let there be rock. After these two magical sentences came the third one, let there be football and hence the men learned to enjoy. But as they say, too much goodness is harmful, so to make that even, Chelsea was born.

People make jokes on every famous thing, that’s why Chelsea was safe!!

But then came a time when they won a title, I won’t say it was a fluke because in my opinion even a fluke needs an effort. And then they were known and people started making jokes on them.
The biggest sufferers were the ones who supported them. Legend is that they were paid even more to support than to play.

Since the start of premier league, Chelsea has been a popular name. Sometimes, even girls were named after the club. Poor girl, whole of her life she’ll be called Chelsea. Wouldn’t it have been better if she wasn’t named at all? Then we all would be like, “Hey nameless, thank god your name isn’t Chelsea!”

Since people dis them a lot, I will not do… well… Anything different!

I am not all against Chelsea fans, it’s only a part of me that says that, my middle finger!

I have heard/made a lot of jokes about them, sharing a few randomly on how to behave with Chelsea fans:

  • 4 steps to enjoy KFC chicken
  1. Go to KFC
  2. Order chicken
  3. Slap a Chelsea fan
  4. Eat the chicken!
  • When you talk to them, keep in mind, There are 4 levels of madness

Normal, Extreme, The balotelli level and lastly, the incurable, Chelsea fan level!

  • You must always know the difference between a Chelsea fan and an alien?
    The latter might have a few human qualities.
  • In case of an accident, if two people are injured and one is a Chelsea fan, always help him first.
    Reason: There is no risk of a brain injury(since there’s no possibility of a brain), life can be saved
    Also, who knows by saving him you just saved their community from getting extinct!
  • This one I included in my article, 5 questions guys can’t answer, “Girls have the special power of sounding cute, dumb, sad and lovable at the same time. In guys, only Chelsea fans do that.”
  • In other news, Chelsea fans are now supporting a new tagline, do the impossible… Though they have replaced impossible with “open goal”  #Torres
  • Oh and the name Torres makes me remember, we should support for the cause “Help those suffering with Autism”

I never get enough of it, have a lot more… you can also check out these links for some certainly epic jokes definitely not made by me!
Chelsea jokes
Chelsea Articles

Also, while concluding this, I’d say that I would love to present this article to a Chelsea fan, this way I make sure that my jokes suck less than the reader!

PS: I apologize if knowingly and on purpose I’ve hurt any Chelsea fan. You know I actually mean it right?

And again, I must say, I had to pick a certain club and take a case just to have fun. I don’t personally hate Chelsea, in fact I like the way they play.
Haha, just kidding… they suck!

Disclaimer part 2: If you reached this part and still think you didn’t like the article, i am pretty sure you’re a Chelsea fan! 😀