Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

Hello people! I hope you’ve read In conversation with a married guy and In conversation with the relationship guy before.

This is yet another conversation, this time with the over obsessed and mostly ignored, BBM guy!

We’ve finally found him. The guy who got BBM on his android phone. Out of all who were too busy in updating their Facebook statuses, he gave us a little time from his busy schedule. Before we start talking to him, here’s a little snippet from what he said in his thank you note.

“I too have a BBM pin now. I can’t believe it finally happened. It’s like one of the biggest dreams of my life come true. My father always wanted me to become an IAS officer but I always believed in bigger things and today I have it.

I have so many people to thank. Starting with my sister who bought a blackberry when I was just 16 and always told me that someday even I’ll have it. I’d also thank my 2167 Facebook friends and the 77 girls I added who never accepted my friend requests. Specially Sunidhi, your update “add mah new BBM pin 789xyz.. xoxo :* ” was a reason I signed up for this.

My heartfelt gratitude to the makers of whatsapp, wechat and line.. Now I can brag on all these apps that they suck and I have BBM which is better. Although I have no idea why but that’s what the knowledgeable people on twitter said. They even made #WeLoveBBM a twitter trend!

Before I forget, I’d like to thank my college friend Kanhaiya who said “BBM is hawt and whatsapp sux”. It’s actually his words that gave the final push to me signing up for BBM.

When I got the clearance mail.. I was as happy as I was when I got a tatkal ticket on irctc website.”

 2011-05-16-bbm gen gap

Alright, so we have with us, Mr. BBM!! (Or that’s what everyone calls him now.)

 

Me: Hello Mr. BBM. First tell us, how does it feel to have it? Another chat client on your phone!

BBM: Hello. Thank you for calling me in this interview. Kidding, you should thank me, now that I have BBM!

 

Me: Umm.. yeah… why not! So tell us, how does it feel? What difference has it made in your life?

BBM: Everything seems much better now. There are so many girls who haven’t blocked me here. I’d get to see their statuses.

 

Me: Wow! How did you manage to get their pins?

BBM: In college that’s not a big deal. The bigger task was to chat with them anonymously!

 

Me: So how do you think this BBM would be different from Whatsapp and other chat clients?

BBM: It is blackberry! It definitely will be way better?

 

Me: I know! But how?

BBM: Well, people on twitter said that. People on facebook said that. It’s new! What else do you want from me!

 

Me: Ok Ok!! Calm down. Have some water. Now tell me what is the first thing you did when you got the BBM pin. And what after that.

BBM: I updated Facebook with my BBM pin so everyone knows I am cool.

 

Me: And then?

BBM: What else? Who am I? Bill gates!

 

Me: Didn’t you chat with anyone?

BBM: I did. I messaged a friend on Whatsapp to add me on BBM and then he emailed me that his BBM pin hasn’t arrived yet so he updated his Facebook status that he doesn’t give a damn to BBM and then he texted me to come online on Gtalk as his skype wasn’t working.

 

Me: Okay! Where does he live? Australia?

BBM: Oh no. We’re flatmates.

 

Me: I’d just pretend that didn’t happen. Moving on. What is the next thing you want this world to innovate?

BBM:  I don’t know. Hey! How about a chat client that doesn’t use Data or network to send your message. It just does it for free!

 

Me: We already have that mode of communication. It’s called a pigeon. Alright one last question Mr. BBM. What is one improvement that BBM service could do for you?

BBM: I’d love to order pizza and recharge my phone from the BBM window itself!

 

Me: I am kind of glad you didn’t ask for a handwash and coffee machine instead. Anyway, it was not so nice to have you on ABugInMyMind Mr. BBM. Would you like to tell something to our readers?

BBM: As Che Guevara said, Be the change you want to see. Peace out.

 

Me: That was actually said by… you know what… leave it.

 

So ladies and gentlemen, it is good to have BBM or Skype, Whatsapp and every other app that ever existed on your phone. But it is not so good to keep spamming other apps with the new one’s updates.

And those who are smiling because they updated anti BBM statuses, you were also adding to spam list only. Just like this blogpost… umm… wait… damn!

 

 

PS: DO NOT FORGET to like my official facebook page. I hear it’s kinda cool. ShubhamChoudhary

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There’s one more word starting with C, but I would prefer decency over that. This post is dedicated to the recent trends of the confession and compliment pages on Facebook.

Remember the old times when there were no sophisticated means of communication. People used to sing songs and send letters via pigeons (or at least that’s what we saw in movies). That time when someone felt like complimenting the other person, he/she would write that in the letter… or kiss it pink maybe.
Then came the modern time when we have phones, emails and what not. And the best part in my opinion is the vehicles which allow us to travel and meet the person and say things right to their face. Still there are things that embarrass the hell out of us or make us shy (in short, love stuff). So for that, there used to be churches where you could confess to the priest.

And then there’s all those weird radio programs where a super melodious RJ will not only listen to you in a night show with a mushy name (let’s say, raat baki baat baki), but pretend to be the love guru and solve your problems too.

The question is, were these not enough? Now what the FB timeline is filled of? NIT Confessions, IIT Confessions… and when that wasn’t enough, LNMIIT and JNIT confessions. What next? Swami Barkhanand Gokhle Institute of Dhaba Management Confessions?

 

Slappin Batman - i confess that shut up

And that’s not it, there’s ‘compliments’ too. The idea is, if you’re too shy of complimenting someone, just say it anonymously and we’ll post it. This way, the person who is being complemented becomes a hero. And the compliment giver doesn’t realize that since the taker doesn’t even know who gave it, he/she just made a big fool out of him/herself.

If I had this much time to waste (actually I pretend I don’t), I’d rather make a page for rating the photos on the scale of their hotness. Who knows the idea might just sell well. (No, it’s my idea. Your argument is invalid).

Coming back to the cr… confessions and compliments. First the major institutes will make such pages. Then individual college pages will be made. And then maybe we’ll start making a fan page for every freaking hostel room.
First the confession would be for IIT Confessions page. “I liked this hot girl and I proposed her friend just to stay close to her.”
Then there will be a particular IIT Delhi confession page status. “I liked this hot girl and i…” before it’s even posted, the admin will think, wait… hot girl… in IITD… man this guy is lying!
Then IITD, Jwalamukhi Hostel confessions page. “I broke the water supply coz I didn’t feel like bathing and didn’t want to feel left out by seeing others bathing.”
And at last, IITD, Jwalamukhi, Room number xxx confession. “ Dude! I was the one who stole your red underwear.”

IIT D guys need not take an offence, they can replace that with the iit they hate the most or maybe any NIT and read back. 😛

Futurama Fry - not sure if these complement pages are actually working or j
Point is, while these pages are lame and probably ideated by people who were themselves either too scared to say and face the truth or kind enough to help others get out of their misery, they are kind of fun as well.

This is how:

  • You can almost most of the times guess who is the person making the confession on your college page.
  • You can post fake confessions and create a ruckus. (The nasty ones 😀  )
  • You can post a fake lovy dovy compliment for the lamest guy around you and get it published and then make it go viral. And once the guy is done bragging, reveal the reality.
  • Make fake profiles, get yourself some compliments!
  • Ever made a to-do list with weird things that remained incomplete? What’s a big deal in confessing you did them?
  • Best one: Confess that you bribed a teacher. Once the confession gets liked and shared, act like your conscious suddenly woke up and you want to bring that evil teacher in the open and name the one professor you hate like hell.
  • Confess on your status that you were the real admin of the confessions page and the current admin tricked you in making him the admin and kicked you out. And now he is posting wrong things about the college. DEMAND your admin status back!
  • Compliment your girlfriend with a hundred different guy profiles. Once she is noticed, you become the dude. (She is your girlfriend after all). Double benefit, even she’d like that (Unless she knows the real motive).

Personally, my favorite confession was this.

“#6 Nikita
you have curvy figure…, but only problem is your Mustache. Please wax it up for me. 😦 
NIT-S”

True, honest… and well… hilarious, isn’t it?

Two kinds of people wouldn’t have understood half of this post. Those who have no idea what compliment and confession pages I am talking about. And those who actually made those pages.

In case you belong to former category, here are a few examples for you.
http://www.facebook.com/IITConfess?fref=ts
http://www.facebook.com/heartuninterupted?fref=ts
http://www.facebook.com/confessions.nit?fref=ts
http://www.facebook.com/pages/NIT-Compliments/334185053368302

And in case you’re in the latter, I know how badly you’re itching to put an offensive comment here. Go ahead, I’d love that. I have heard that hated posts go viral these days! 😀

Next month, next post. Looking for a co-author since I will be out of town and won’t get much time to write. Do write to me if you have an idea. 🙂

You’re on facebook, everyday you face things!! So this is basically about what status people put up these days on this popular and overrated social networking platform.

So the status means what you feel and want to tell the world, at the same time, what the world wants to know, and a part which people generally tend to skip.

PS: Unlike my other articles, this one is kinda straight forward and short, hope you like the change 🙂

Have a look.

1) Shocking thing, i still can’t believe it happened!

Comment: what??

Reply: sorry, can’t tell on fb.

Then why the hell did you tell it on the first place!

2) Thanks XYZ for being in my life, i love youuuuuu!

Isn’t there an option called wall post or private messaging on Facebook!!

3) I enjoyed so much today.. Thank you ramesh and suresh for a lovely time.

Now that is a complete double meaning status. By a girl, it means a question.. was there a threesome?? And by a boy… boy! Don’t even ask!

4) I hate justin beiber.We all do, but guess what, he’s rich, he has a girlfriend better than yours and he’s more famous than you ever will be. So face it and don’t show what a loser you’re publically.
5) I think Sachin should retire.Wow, you just said a million dollar opinion! But frankly, neither bcci nor Sachin is reading that. Such statuses only tell how much misused a Facebook status can be!

6) Your cousin/mom/brother/father/sister is the first one to do blah blah and it’s a week to celebrate love and followed by another 400 characters.

Really!! You really think people read that. All they do is to like and that too because you’re a hot girl and he’s a despo.

7) A song. Yes, people putting songs as their status.

You know when kapil sibbal said he would filter Facebook updates, he said it because he was tired of reading “tu hi meri shab hai” and “tujhe bhula diya” as people’s status. How irritating it can be. Especially when your ex updates “I’m in love” as her status! (no more questions please.)

8) Spam!!

Yes, i saved the best for the last. “Check out who deleted you” and “see who visits your profile” such statuses have crapped my timeline many times. Why would you even click on such links at the first place? People never understand and this makes me want to, well, log out!!

So these were the 8 statuses i think shouldn’t be there or should be completely banned on fb.

I know there’s more. Like the photos, the likes, the viral links and the weird troll updates. But what’s more irritating is that this article contained nothing from them and you still read it. Ha! Sucker!

Sorry, there’s more… I think Facebook shouldn’t be used the way it is and people are getting addicted to it and it shouldn’t get so much attention. Anyway, don’t forget to like my article on Facebook please.

Relationships these days are different, Well at least for some!
So just this thought crossed my mind and here comes an imagination (Which I guess, might be true for many as well 😛 )
Have a look 🙂

 

I saw her face, was like GOD’s blessing,

couldn’t see more, thanks to her privacy settings..


I don’t generally do it, still added her with a nice message,

hoped she’ll like it and open her heart’s passage..


Came her reply, she asked me who,

A series of messages then followed through..


Adding and chatting then continued all along,

Sometimes just a hi and sometimes dedicating a song..

 

Her style was different, an attitude decent,

Beautiful she was, like the moon crescent..


We talked a lot, sometimes shared a joke,

sometimes a like, at times a post, and the “all the time” poke..!

 Relationship@facebookIt was going well, should ask her to meet, or at least the number, i thought,

didn’t really feel the need but it was worth giving a shot..

 

But One day we fought, couldn’t resolve it all,

thanks to a spam, something bad I had posted on her wall..


I apologised, didn’t poke her all day,

But she put an emotional status which got a 50 likes in its way..


I was clueless, didn’t know what to do,

then came a time when i was drunk, messaged something which i can’t undo..

 

You have many guy friends, they like all your updates, i had said,

What am i to you, just a “poke buddy”, I guess I was mad..


She was furious, blocked me as a result in pain,

I made many new profiles to see her, but alas! All in vain..

 

It was one nice phase, that ended just like it was created,

I don’t think I’ll see her again, my profile was DEACTIVATED!

Before opening this treat of miseries and frustration to you, I would like to thank my friend Ashish Baberwal for the wonderful idea. Also, he wanted me to mention his name on the blog. 😛

Moving on, “Things we all observed, and I said” is the tagline of my blog (In case u didn’t know) so this time I thought of coming up with a straight away observation, “The impact of Facebook in our lives”.
I know I know, cliché, people have said a lot, why should I read this… etc. etc. etc…  So here’s something that my dear friend added to it, what if this impact existed at the time of our freedom struggle. Now the whole thing just followed this weird idea.

Starting with the 1857 struggle, remember the names like Mangal pandey and Rani Laxmibai? Before going to tear off that non vegetarian bullet, Mangal Pandey might have had created a poll on Facebook, “About to chew the cover of bullet. What do you think? is it cow meat?” (Man the people saying No would have been screwed!!)

Moving on, imagine Karamchand gandhi’s status on facebook on 2nd October 1869, “Blessed with a baby boy. I and putlibai are sooooo happpyyyyyy” with Motilal Nehru, Nelson mandela and 22 others like this beneath it. I am pretty sure 100 years later even the FB directors would have reshared this status on their timelines!

And then the freedom struggle would have continued… M.K Gandhi keeps updating his profile with things like “Law from England” and “Doing Satyagraha in South Africa”.
And then a Facebook fan page named “Indian National Congress” would have been formed in 1885 joined in by thousands of likes later on followed by another page called the Muslim League! And it’s founder also making a group called “We Hate INC

I believe Bhagat singh’s family was quite poor so expecting them to use internet isn’t very likely (As if the rest of the things are!) but one news about him would have been closely noticed by the britishers, “Chandrashekhar azad and Bhagat singh are now friends

Just like these days, viral posts would have been there. Whenever female freedom strugglers update anything, they would have got far more likes than any other male struggler. People like Saunders and Simon would have created Javascript spams instead of lathicharges.
And the slogan “Simon Go Back” would actually have been an FB page liked by tons of people in a single day and “Inquilab zindabad” would be creating a wave even bigger than the kolaveri song.

When Gandhiji started the Dandi march, his status would have been “Going to make salt, see ya” and then the like counter would have slowly increased from 1 to 1000 in a few hours with him checking in at different places now and then, and then the last status “We broke the salt law” containing a 100 “Yippeee, congrats 😀 ” comments below.

 gandhi ji on facebook

And the best part, The Non Co-Operation movement would actually be an FB event where people would have boycotted British fan pages and stopped liking any of the status updates by the governor general. And when some revolutionary might have made an abusive comment on FB, Gandhiji would have called off the movement with a 1000 people disliking the activity.

I am pretty sure then there would have been a fourth monkey with his hands on the keyboard.
Our first Prime Minister Jawahar Lal Nehru’s autobiography would actually have been a Facebook note.
And instead of putting someone in jail, suspending his FB profile for a week would have been enough of a penalty!
The profile pic of B.R Ambedkar showing his index finger would have been the most liked one on FB that time. 
Charkha would have been the cover pic of many.

Pretty imaginable, our PM would have updated a status “We are FREEEEEE!!!!!” at the midnight and the status would have had a 1000 shares and lakhs of likes!

Here we come to an end. While writing this, I thought this might be even funnier with some graphics and international events, but thanks to my super poor Photoshop skills and a busy schedule in doing nothing, I can’t provide that. But here is something, check out this, you’re gonna laugh out loud for sure.

http://coolmaterial.com/roundup/if-historical-events-had-facebook-statuses-part-2/

http://open.salon.com/blog/tom_falco/2010/08/29/if_facebook_existed_throughout_history_1

PS: I didn’t intend to make fun of our freedom struggle or anyone associated with it. It was just a funny imagination. So if you’re a geeky historian who is going to yell at me for mocking one of the most glorious parts of Indian history, don’t, believe me, I’ve even mocked Rajinikanth here. 😛

The moment you read this, one more was killed. I am not talking about a tiger, not about the humming bird…
I am talking about the creature who doesn’t even know that you’re gonna kill her. And believe me, it’s you on whom she had the trust of her life.
I am talking about your own daughter.

Sometimes, being a boy, I think how tough it would be to become a girl. When she is not even born, female foeticide is there, life in danger. When she is born, child abuse is there in India, life in danger. When she grows up, in places like Delhi and UP, walking 10 meters safely is an achievement, again, life is in danger. When she is married, all depends on how the in laws treat her. Daily we hear cases of dowry and honor killing, life in danger.

Sometimes I just think, is life of a soldier easier than life of a woman in India? Or shouldn’t commando training be made compulsory for girls the moment they are born. Even if what I said is executed, u can’t help the child who isn’t even born.
I am not going to bother you with the stats that how many girls are left per 1000 boys or how many female foeticides take place daily. Neither I’ll bore you by saying the same old things. I just want to ask a question, as you’re aware enough to read this post, are you bold enough to take a step against it? (Not the post but female foeticide and the bad condition of females in our country)

I don’t have suggestions for you on how to do this… what I do is to boldly speak against people who do this, spread messages via blogs and Facebook and also paste some related posters in areas near my home. Works there but you can think of better.
25th September is nationally observed as the Daughters’ day and just like our independence day we celebrate it for a day and get back to our normal selves. Not that doing that with independence day is right, that is infact even more wrong, but that’s a whole different topic. You will be thrashed about that sometime later. Today lets make you understand whats wrong with you.

So all of you think you’re against female foeticide and you’re done. You respect females a lot. But honestly (To all the youngsters reading it), how many of you have never been a part of eve teasing?  Impossible to say that never, so yes, that too is a part of exploitation and abuse.
Those who are married, if you didn’t take dowry don’t think you scored a clean sheet.  Though it’s a little rare in modern societies but by my experiences and what I’ve seen, it won’t be too much to ask, how many of you have never beaten your wife. Yes, it’s a bitter truth that even when we’re living in such a modern society, home violence is one of the majorly committed crimes.

Apart from that, if your father or mother is doing that to their daughter in law, believe me, law doesn’t allow you to sit and watch or keep quiet. Things like this are just like termites eating the culture of our country. A place where we worship goddesses, a place where we have given the supreme position to mother and a cow is considered a holy animal. If we let these things happen, what are we? Traitors won’t be a bad word there.
These days, traditional crimes like dowry killing, infanticide and other related things have decreased in number (Though I am sad to say that this is not the case in our political and business capitals where an increase in rape and kidnapping cases is observed) but these aren’t the only things we need to fight. Other small stuff that remains unnoticed needs to be talked about. It’s the 21st century and now the time has come that we need to have equal status for female in real world too.
I said real world because I do know females rock when it comes to likes on Facebook (Sorry, humor is my thing)

Like others I won’t be presenting before you the names of famous female achievers like Kalpana chawla and saina nehwal along with history makers like Rani laxmibai and Sarojini naidu. But since you know those names, don’t you think we need more of them. And I don’t think killing or kidnapping girls is gonna help that unless you give them special training after kidnapping. So if you’re not a part of the crime, raise your voice. Sitting quietly ain’t helping. Try to show the world that what you think is right and evil needs to be eliminated. Report it to the law if you see something like this.
I would love to end with the hindi lines I read in my childhood (A female teacher taught me)

“Ek nahi do do matrayen, Nar (नर) se bhari Nari (नारी)”

Hope u liked it. If you didn’t, atleast follow what’s right. That’s all I want.
thanks