Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category

 The problem with our country is that we’re too many. In every corner of even the remotest place in a distant city you’ll find 1-2 million people and that’s just like .08 percent of our population.  Of course there will be millions who are in a relationship, millions who are single and millions who are dead married.

So here’s something, mixed with humor-satire-sarcasm (and lies) from our daily lives to tell you what not to do this valentine.

  1. An InterCaste Relationship:
    So you’re planning to propose her. Wow! How not obvious would that be! But think about it. Is she of the same caste as you?  Will your (or her) parents approve? And if the parents do, what about the society? I mean, aren’t random people we don’t know the most important people in the world? Do not go ahead with this. I repeat, DO NOT!!
  2. Dressing Provocatively :
    Hey girl… yes you… So you planned to go out with him tonight in the sexiest dress possible? Yes, the same shoulderless one.  Funny how you didn’t think about the “Vishwa Hindu Parishad”, “ShivSena”, “RSS” and a thousand more random groups ready to beat you up on every park/beach/mall out there. Better wear a burka… and don’t you dare look out!
  3. Speaking for something:
    You’re right. India is a democratic republic and there is a thing called freedom of speech. So yes, let our politicians exercise that right with all the random words/abuses/pepper sprays/knives and you, keep quiet! Thinking of putting up an FB status against this?  You do know people get jailed for stuff like that, right?
  4. Homosexuality:
    We are a freaking billion. There is of course many guys with a different sexual orientation too. But hold on bro, this is India. We’re a country where even the movie would be named 377 instead of 300 and the guy getting kicked would be Gay! Don’t even dare to think about this.377-this-is-indiaaaaa-coming-soon-in-a-parliament-near-you
  5. Thinking about the nasty! :
    Did you know that this 377 thing can put you behind bars for years? It sure can if you’re into anything unnatural. And when I say unnatural I refer to most of the stuff that happens naturally on the Valentine’s day with many.
  6. Going out in a traditional wear (Men only):
    If you’re alone and someone confuses you to be an activist, you may face the wrath of many! Parts of your body you don’t even notice normally will hurt pretty bad. 
  7. Write an article on 7 things not to do this valentine:
    Because I already did that.
    You can do something different, innovative and entirely different though. Like.. 10 things not to do this valentine!

 

Disclaimer: This article wasn’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings. Your relationship status is already doing that job well.
If you liked it, do make a comment, I hear that makes the writers happy.

 

PS: This article has also been published here http://youthdiaries.in/7-valentine-shubham-choudhary/.

Do check out this amazing effort by YouthDiaries for the Valentine. http://www.facebook.com/youthdiaries/photos/a.304267172943188.61617.303200656383173/625869487449620/?type=1&theater

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Hello guys, you have no idea how good I am feeling updating this blog. Recently I did a few experiments with my writing. While the new style of fake interviews was highly appreciated (in conversation with), the foodie post got mixed reactions (Paneer Sizzler). Also my not so usual Birthday post managed to grab good comments from all J

I promise I’ll continue them, but in order to make my regular readers laugh like hell, this one is going to be an old classic. My take on politics with a tinge of sarcasm along with my co-author and sarcasm king Anil Sharma. This is my second co-authored post with him. And since then, both of us have come a long way. I completed my first novel and he made a hattrick of award winning blog posts!! Cool eh! 😀

Moving on, you all know Pranab Mukherjee is the new president right? This was probably the most discussed matter recently. A lot more popular than hina rabbani’s country visit and just a little less than Rajinikanth.

So here are a few things we both came up with, about Indian presidential elections and of course, our presidents!

  • After Pranab da became the president, Pratibha Patil was so good that she stayed at the Rashtrapati Bhawan on her last day as the president when she could have visited Nepal twice easily.
  • After Pranab Da’s nomination for the President, Manmohan Singh became the first ever silent FM.
  • Err… is it everyone or just me noticing that Manmohan ji is the 13th PM of india while Pranab da is the 13th President? Omen much?
  • Now we have three very important leaders from UPA:

Sonia Gandhi with an Italian accent.

Pranab Da with an unidentified accent.

And Manmohan Singh with ….Well…!

  • So how many of you actually think Pranab da could win Indian idol? Well he is versatile, having experienced all kinds of indian ministries. He follows whatever the judges say (you know who). And he can sing (on the tune of you know who!)
  • Funny thing happened in my phone, while I typed PRANAB, autocorrect changed it to PRANK, probably that’s why it is called a Smartphone!
  • In other news, Vijay Malaya is now on hunger strike. He says the only reason his company was still running was Pratibha patil!
  • That reminds me, Just like A.P.J Abdul Kalam, Pratibha also left the president house with only two bags. Err… One full of boarding passes and another full of electricity bills.
  • Though I sincerely want every Indian to respect the post of President, but that is post this president!
  • When some of our faking news correspondents asked some popular people about this, here are their replies.
    • Winner of Roadies: This news of new president is quite shocking for me. Just when I memorized the name of our president (Pratibha Patil), they replaced her.
    • Rahul Gandhi: Jeete Pranab or PA sangama, this is wrong!!
    • All the death sentenced criminals: We’re disappointed with this, our lives are in danger now!!
    • Shahrukh Khan: Is the president supposed to lift your ban on entering inside any stadium?
    • Aamir Khan: Please send your precious votes to us and public will decide if the election was correct!
    • Sachin Tendulkar: What are you asking me for? I even made the 100th ton damnit!
    • Chunkey Pandey: He didn’t really comment, though he did give us a free dinner for considering him popular.

 

 

Since now we have our president with us, and all we can do is to expect him to be a little attentive towards national matters (and mock him like everyone else). Still, I strongly believe that P.Chidamabaram could have been a better choice for this job, his dressing style is quite similar to the earlier president Pratibha Patil.

And since PA Sangama didn’t win, we have a new job for him. Quite matching to his name!

On a serious note, I wish all the luck… to the Indian public, after all they will have to hear Pranab Da on every Republic Day eve!

And to those who ACTUALLY think this is going to be good for our country and are really pissed off at this blog post right now, I can’t help but crack one more joke right now! 😛

Pranab: Any precious advice before you leave ma’am?

Pratibha: Yes, always use makemytrip.com, they are good. Yatra.com just sucks.

And for the few who are laughing, you know why Pranab Mukherjee is an important person? Because he is PraMukh!!

So this is it, I hope you all enjoyed, in case you didn’t, feel free to send your criticism for Anil as he is responsible for all the (bad) jokes in this article. And yes, don’t forget to take my autograph when you meet me, who knows if I’ll be the 21st Indian president!

Err… don’t forget to visit Anil’s blog FuddledAndPuzzled, he’s on a roll!! 😀

Nahi… Nahi… Nahi…

And that’s a journey full of atrocities starts which makes you want to kill yourselves in the most brutal manner.
Yep, i am talking about the great Indian daily soaps. While I diss them, on the other hand, i wonder who is more courageous? Our soldiers or ladies who watch those daily soaps.

May it be their pavitra rishta with it or their balika vadhu instinct, but they have endless emotions and patience when it comes to watching ““Bart””. ““Bart”” means “Bad ART”, and that’s how I’ll refer the daily soaps in the rest of this article.

Here to suck your blood

Here to suck your blood!!

So what is with this ““Bart””. Why are they so popular in Indian women (general) and why are they so bloodsucking for Indian men (all). Here are some points that came to my mind.

  • They have a never-ending collection of jewelry and fancy clothing, even in a dull normal morning the brides in “Barts” are studded with jewels. Believe me, that gives even bappi da a complex. While women fall for them, men literally “fall” because of them.
  • The way they manipulate and make plans and traps, I wonder why didn’t al-quayda and taliban people recruit them for strategy handling.
  • While even the poorest of them will carry a blackberry and a car is necessary (i just wrote it to rhyme), their dining tables will always contain a well-organized and never-emptying fruit basket!
  • The biggest one, WHY THE HELL THEY NEVER DIE??? I mean you can never say it for sure that this person will not make a dramatic return. Oh wait, it IS a drama!

Some quick picks that i don’t understand about the “Barts” is.

  • Why is it that they always give expressions at different times one by one whenever a good or bad news comes in. (just curious!)
  • How a plastic surgery completely changes a person’s face and why don’t they become like brad pit and Jennifer Lopez then?
  • How marriages is just like having food for them, i mean do it every once in a while and dump the crap out of it.
  • And Why did my mom kept staring at me like she’s gonna kill me when i asked her to say something against “Barts”.

Apparently, these shows are the most hated and yet most watched and most commercialized over Indian television. (Declaring the women power yet again!)

To conclude, here’s what I have to say. Their never ending and tempting (read: time wasting) stories get the viewers glued somehow. So it becomes my moral duty to warn you that if you’re new with them, back off now. Or there’ll be a day when you’ll start falling for akshara or anandi and that my dear friend, is the time, when you should stop waiting for the doomsday!

Before opening this treat of miseries and frustration to you, I would like to thank my friend Ashish Baberwal for the wonderful idea. Also, he wanted me to mention his name on the blog. 😛

Moving on, “Things we all observed, and I said” is the tagline of my blog (In case u didn’t know) so this time I thought of coming up with a straight away observation, “The impact of Facebook in our lives”.
I know I know, cliché, people have said a lot, why should I read this… etc. etc. etc…  So here’s something that my dear friend added to it, what if this impact existed at the time of our freedom struggle. Now the whole thing just followed this weird idea.

Starting with the 1857 struggle, remember the names like Mangal pandey and Rani Laxmibai? Before going to tear off that non vegetarian bullet, Mangal Pandey might have had created a poll on Facebook, “About to chew the cover of bullet. What do you think? is it cow meat?” (Man the people saying No would have been screwed!!)

Moving on, imagine Karamchand gandhi’s status on facebook on 2nd October 1869, “Blessed with a baby boy. I and putlibai are sooooo happpyyyyyy” with Motilal Nehru, Nelson mandela and 22 others like this beneath it. I am pretty sure 100 years later even the FB directors would have reshared this status on their timelines!

And then the freedom struggle would have continued… M.K Gandhi keeps updating his profile with things like “Law from England” and “Doing Satyagraha in South Africa”.
And then a Facebook fan page named “Indian National Congress” would have been formed in 1885 joined in by thousands of likes later on followed by another page called the Muslim League! And it’s founder also making a group called “We Hate INC

I believe Bhagat singh’s family was quite poor so expecting them to use internet isn’t very likely (As if the rest of the things are!) but one news about him would have been closely noticed by the britishers, “Chandrashekhar azad and Bhagat singh are now friends

Just like these days, viral posts would have been there. Whenever female freedom strugglers update anything, they would have got far more likes than any other male struggler. People like Saunders and Simon would have created Javascript spams instead of lathicharges.
And the slogan “Simon Go Back” would actually have been an FB page liked by tons of people in a single day and “Inquilab zindabad” would be creating a wave even bigger than the kolaveri song.

When Gandhiji started the Dandi march, his status would have been “Going to make salt, see ya” and then the like counter would have slowly increased from 1 to 1000 in a few hours with him checking in at different places now and then, and then the last status “We broke the salt law” containing a 100 “Yippeee, congrats 😀 ” comments below.

 gandhi ji on facebook

And the best part, The Non Co-Operation movement would actually be an FB event where people would have boycotted British fan pages and stopped liking any of the status updates by the governor general. And when some revolutionary might have made an abusive comment on FB, Gandhiji would have called off the movement with a 1000 people disliking the activity.

I am pretty sure then there would have been a fourth monkey with his hands on the keyboard.
Our first Prime Minister Jawahar Lal Nehru’s autobiography would actually have been a Facebook note.
And instead of putting someone in jail, suspending his FB profile for a week would have been enough of a penalty!
The profile pic of B.R Ambedkar showing his index finger would have been the most liked one on FB that time. 
Charkha would have been the cover pic of many.

Pretty imaginable, our PM would have updated a status “We are FREEEEEE!!!!!” at the midnight and the status would have had a 1000 shares and lakhs of likes!

Here we come to an end. While writing this, I thought this might be even funnier with some graphics and international events, but thanks to my super poor Photoshop skills and a busy schedule in doing nothing, I can’t provide that. But here is something, check out this, you’re gonna laugh out loud for sure.

http://coolmaterial.com/roundup/if-historical-events-had-facebook-statuses-part-2/

http://open.salon.com/blog/tom_falco/2010/08/29/if_facebook_existed_throughout_history_1

PS: I didn’t intend to make fun of our freedom struggle or anyone associated with it. It was just a funny imagination. So if you’re a geeky historian who is going to yell at me for mocking one of the most glorious parts of Indian history, don’t, believe me, I’ve even mocked Rajinikanth here. 😛

Hello Everyone, Here is something as a gift for all of you. A post on the very first day of the new year. Read it and blame yourself for reading it later.

Just like every other year, this one has also gone away into history. But 2011 did make a lot of differences in many lives. We lost some (Jagjit Singh, Shammi Kapoor, Steve Jobs, Dev Anand, Dennis Ritchie), while some arrived into the world (Aishwarya’s daughter and 50 million other kids). We saw big things (Anna’s fast) and some small things (Ra.One’s cast).

But just like every other year, we are left with the same hopes (and the same failed government). Though it’s just a matter of one digit—2011 to 2012—which won’t change anything, but there’s one thing that we can always expect the next year to be better in. NEWS! Seeing the trends 2011 is leaving us with, here is something I think, can become the news of 2012.
Let’s start with the Hero of 2011. Anna Hazare is the obvious choice. If you don’t vote for Poonam Pandey as the Heroine of 2011, she can readily strip for you and your views will change. So now there’s high probability that the hero and heroine will join together in 2012 to do, well, whatever they do! While Anna performs his fasting, PP could strip so that the Anna fans do not get bored!

Seeing the popularity of Sharad Pawar since he was slapped, I think it’s high time, the PM should declare ‘Slapping’ as the National Action. Who knows, we might see the National Slap Day being observed, where politicians volunteer to be slapped and get Facebook promotions in return!

Another super popular thing this year was Kolaveri. Seeing the popularity, some underrated soul might use it for their fame. Don’t tell anyone but our secret sources report that Manmohan Singh is planning to sing the silent version of Kolaveri Di, to be released on his birthday next year.

Abhishek and Aishwarya were blessed with a baby girl this year. And I don’t see either of them having any work these days. So don’t be surprised to see a little Abhishek next year. After all idea 3G can’t help round the year!  😉

The biggest question 2011 is leaving us with is Sachin’s 100th century. And the way he has played, I guess in 2012, he will surely hit a hundred (of nervous nineties)! (No offence to Sachin fans, even I am one)

Bollywood might see some big things next year. Mahesh Bhatt has already signed Sunny Leone for his next movie. Bored by usual ways of promotion, he has decided to do in public, what Sunny will do in a movie. So the public will now get to see Mahesh Bhatt doing the same things he does on TV: shirtless!

"Should I go shirtless?"

"Should I go shirtless?"

The Bharat Ratna will also be another much discussed thing the next year since it is now open to sportspersons. Now that sportsmen can get it, I think Vinod Kambli will be its first recipient in 2012. Oh c’mon, the guy speaks the truth and he has played cricket if you remember! (Tell me you do!)

Next year, we’ll also see the Swayamvar of Veena Malik. Any guesses on who is the unlucky one to be her would-be? Well, The bug has the answer for you. News is that our unmarried former Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee would be going to try his luck, not because he likes her, but he wants Indo-Pak harmony.

Next year we’ll also see some big developments in other sports of India. Since we’ll be seeing the London Olympics, the government is going to buy new hockey sticks for the players and they promise none of them will be broken this time. Reports also say that our athletes might get a new track to practise. (The Government didn’t want the Janpath to be crowded by practising racers!)

As for the last and the best news, the biggest trend of 2012 is going to be the one and only RAJINIKANTH! As he is the one who will save the world on the Doomsday!

Well, we’re done with what is going to be the NEWS of 2012. We all have seen a lot this year, and on a serious note, I wish this year we can see better governance and a few stable policies. Please don’t say you laughed more on this point!

Oh yeah, HAPPY NEW YEAR 🙂

Happy New Year

 

PS: You can also see the post on NTMN.

As the latest news in the country, it is now positive that the Indian Government will soon be launching a new product in the Indian market with a unique name “iStink”. The decision was reportedly taken after the failure of Sibbal’s effort of getting every indian an android tablet. Some also say that recent news about Steve Jobs compelled indian govt. to do something in this area. The government also thought this was a good way to reach out for people and make a move in the world of technology in which India has remained pretty low recently.

As the sources say, this product will be quite similar to the well-known iPhone 4s and will have all the features which younger generation wants. The USP of the phone is the Indian style in which it is made and the options inside. Apart from the music player, 1080p video and an 8 MP camera, the phone will offer a variety of superb options filled with excitement and knowledge about our government.


As the only genuine news reporter, we were given a special insight to the phone by the Honourable speaker herself. The phone, when switched on, started with the Italian national anthem, though we still don’t know why that happened. After the song was finished, the phone came to its normal mode. As a joke is getting very famous these days, the govt. also paid attention to that and has replaced the Silent mode option with the Manmohan mode.My favourite feature in the phone was the tabs. In the tabs you can find a “scams” tab under which all major/minor scams have been listed. This tab has three options, i.e, scams below 100 crores, scams above 100 crores and the 2G scam.  Among other specialities, the phone has a wall of fame which is available on one touch for quick reference. This wall of shame.. oh sorry.. wall of fame contains the bio of all famous people like Suresh Kalmadi, A. Raja, Sharad Pawar and Kanimozhi with full details including their financials.Another feature of the phone is the baby tunes, which will turn on a nursery rhyme on a single click closing all other applications. This feature was specially installed on demand by Rahul Gandhi as he might need that frequently. The phone has many apps as well, noticeable ones among them being, “WordoMeter” which will count the number of senseless words you said in a statement, though it came with a direction that Kapil Sibbal and Digvijay singh shouldn’t use it or the app might crash. For them, instead of WordoMeter, we’ll install “Weirdo-Meter”, said the phone makers.
There is another application called iSuck, made as a gift to the cricket team of India.

Being overwhelmed by the features, our reporters took feedbacks from the indian politicians about this revolutionary step by the Govt. and here are a few responses.

“I am ashamed that my name isn’t there in the wall of fame, I am the pioneer of scams in India and I’ll be back” said Laloo Prasad yadav.

While P. Chidambaram said that he was happy to see that Kasab was featured too in the HangMan application, “I am happy that Kasab is there in the HangMan app, we all know that’s not gonna happen in real so it’s a good way to keep people busy in thinking”

Rahul Gandhi immediately went to have dinner with the phone makers to appreciate them, while Manmohan Singh decided to remain silent over the matter.

Since the phone is still not released, we hope there will be a few changes before its launch, like we would love to have an application where we can dismiss the parliament and give public some more powers.
But overall, the phone gets a 10 on rating from us, as it has all the required info about the cons of our govt. (I wanted to say pros and cons but frankly, where are the pros?)
We wish some sensible politicians (If any left) might take it as a signal and do something so that iStink can be turned into iGlow and Steve Jobs’s soul would be proud of something that we dedicated to him.

PS: Now as the article has ended, i don’t know if you liked it or not, but i remember how our spokesperson wanted to sue the websites which make fun of indian govt. So this one is more out of frustration and anger and a kinda “in your face” article.
Then again, hope you enjoyed 😛

According to the latest news leaks by our very own Leaky-pedia, it is positively a confirm information that our country’s home minister, Dr. P Chidambaram will now be assisting the indian judiciary on how to “close matters” quickly. The decision was reportedly taken by the IPC after seeing the efficient and prompt decision making skills of the honorary minister in different matters recently. The judiciary seemed to be specifically impressed by his statement in the legendary press conference about the 2G scam, which included Pranab mukharjee too where P Chidambaram had stepped forward to say that the 2G scam was now a closed matter.

According to the respected judge S.H. Kapadia , “This decision was pending long way, we always wanted someone good enough to be with us and take responsibility of the weird decisions we’ve been taking. Now that Chidambaram is assisting us, I don’t think there’s gonna be any delay, seeing his present statements, I can say we’ll now always have the option of “Closing” the matter if decision can’t be taken!”

According to one other official in the Supreme Court, Shree Altamas Kabir, “Chidambaram fulfils all the requirements we had. He’s a master of law from the Cambridge university, he has direct contact with the real man of India, Sonia ji… and he has the ability to prove that the matters are closed.” “Take afzal guru’s matter for instance, we took so much time deciding what to do with the guy, and when we transferred the case to home ministry, what they decide is not to decide anything. The matter was so small according to them that they considered it closed.  Also, due to my personal contacts with Chidambaram, I know he wanted the Jessica Lal case to be closed too as the supreme court was too big to give a decision on such a small matter.”

According to our sources, Digvijay singh was seen partying at his house… when caught by us he agreed that he was happy with Chidambaram sir Ji to be assisting the judiciary. He said that terrorism in India has decreased in past years. Previously 100s were killed in a single blast and these days 10-20 are killed and frequency is doubled, so we do have a less number of deaths. This simple concept wasn’t getting into judiciary’s underdeveloped minds and Chidambaram bhaiya is the best person to “Close” the matter. He can always tell them that terrorism is out of question when we have bigger issues like Soniya madam’s cancer.

Noted jurist K K Venugopal said that this was surprising, but this decision will have some deep impacts. Now we can seek help from home ministry over matters like Maoists and the so called Terror attacks in Assam. As these matters are regionally restricted, I guess Chidambaram might consider them closed as well.

Finally when we got talking to our very own Dr. P Chidambaram himself, we came to know some very interesting points. According to him it was pretty clear that judiciary had to seek his help someday. There was a pretty slow speed of solving cases which actually weren’t “That important” and were being overrated. He said that next elections aren’t very far and we want to set an example as well as want to prove our quality in front of the public. We will still deal with bigger issues patiently, but frankly, I don’t see any.
Also that now he will be having powers to interfere, he will take personal classes of Indian judges on “How to Close matters” and will be getting ready himself for the next elections. Their main aim is to make a country free of malice and malevolence and if people don’t have cases to discuss upon, we’re pretty much done.

After all this drama, we just hope that the govt. might as well give the education department to Digvijay Singh who will even say that IITs and NITs are useless (After the great decision of scraping JEE by another minister). But even then, giving judicial powers to home ministry seems a revolutionary step. Who knows one day we’ll see the case of Rahul Gandhi’s cold and Soniya madam’s lost necklace being solved by the supreme court.

According to our not-so-trusted sources, it’s a popular news in the country that our Planning commission ministers will be trying their luck in a new TV show named “32 se kam”. It’s a reality show based on the concept that they have to survive an entire week without spending more than Rs 32 a day.

Our efficient reporters were able to dig up more on this. The action is reportedly said to be taken after the great “Tendulkar Report” of the planning commission that People in urban areas who spend more than Rs. 32 a day will not be considered poor. According to the makers of the show, “It was really interesting to know that our leaders think that a common man can survive by just spending Rs. 32 a day which includes his daily requirements of Water, Electricity, Clothing and food!

In the show, the ministers will be fighting each other out to spend the least. Winner will be declared after the week after calculating the expanses of every minister. There are certain guidelines to them as per the report, like, they can’t spend more than Rs 5.5 per day on cereals which certainly deprives  them of  buying 100 grams of good quality rice and half a kg edible wheat flour.  They also won’t be spending more than Rs 2.3 on milk hence not even getting a proper toned milk which costs Rs 5-6 per 100 ml these days.

Reportedly, Warm up cum Preliminary round was taken up by the ministers of planning commission to see if they qualify for the competition. Though Most of them faced utter difficulties while coping up with the budget restriction, none of them showed it on his face thanks to their superb expression control, which might be because of their expression change in front of the voters.

Montek singh ahluwalia himself was eliminated from the competition after he was seen buying a banana which costs more than 44 paise. Shri Ashwini kumar faced elimination because he drank a Cup of coffee which contained sugar that apparently costs more than 70 paise.

Other ministers like A Raja, Suresh Kalmadi were also given wild card entries in the competition.
On detailed questioning, it was revealed that Raja gave a bribe of 32 crore to show that he can survive in 32 Rs a day while Kalmadi came in for free thanks to his name match with Suresh Tendulkar (Who by the way, is the Report incharge)

The supreme court seemed ok with the competition, according to officials, “We don’t have a problem with the competition…  it’s good that our ministers are trying.. it’s easy, that was the reason we approved the report. In fact even we want to take part in the competition, we are even thinking of taking the limit below Rs 30”

The producers of the show also cleared that the ministers won’t be allowed to spend more than Rs. 30 per month on health which is actually 30 paise more than what they have allowed for the common man. It should be noted that this means you will get to spend 99 paise per day on health though a Disprin costs more than Rs 1 !!
In other details, The ministers will also be given a 10 Rs note each to find a good footwear for the show.

According to the Latest BPL criteria given by the Tendulkar Committee report and followed by “32 se kam” Makers, the worst news related to the competition was that Dr Manmohan singh himself won’t be able to use his tube of Fair and Handsome cream which costs more than 30 Rs since he was allowed to spend only less than 29.6 per month on personal care.

Though the public was furious with the report but the decision of this competition has turned the tables and now they are eager to see what happens with all the ministers at the end of the week.

Now that the competition is about to start, we can only hope this might provide some sense to our ministers in the end.

Check this article on NTMN too 🙂
http://newsthatmattersnot.com/2011/09/new-reality-show-sawaal-32-ka-challenges-planning-commission-members-to-survive-on-rs-32-a-day.html

On the occasion of the 64th Independence Day, the Govt. has decided to declare the whole week (15th – 21st ) as independence special week in India. Under the special arrangements made by the government for this week, the biggest one is Exclusive footage of Dr. manmohan singh. Other benefits include 1 paisa relaxation in petrol price and a 3 minute ban on Rakhi sawant speaking anything publically.

Back to the Footage part, According to our sources, in some of the video clips, Manmohan Singh is seen talking.  Reports also say that a video called “Dhamaka Video” will also be released by the centre in which PM has even said a few words to MADAM JI herself.

When our reporters asked our very (un)respected leaders about the matter, here’s what they said…

Digvijay singh: I know about the video. In fact I was the one who recorded one of those (he also showed us his new E7 phone). And about the Dhamaka video, well the public might just have to wait for it.

Sushma Swaraj: Pradhan mantri ji ki is karastani ka hume pahle se shak tha. In fact I also think that he had his opinion on the Mumbai blasts too, though we don’t have a proof yet.

Soniya Gandhi: this is all a conspiracy by foreign powers just to degrade the image of Manmohan Ji. Neither he has spoken and nor will he ever speak unless asked. She agreed to the independence special week celebrations but she also said that those celebrations were just to intensify her India-Return celebrations.

Rahul Gandhi: its more than a hoax this time. I smell something fishy here but I don’t think that any such videos will affect our public image. In fact a few that I have personally seen, will just add to it.

Sheila: I am too sexy for you, mai tere hath na aani!!! (that was her phone which rang before the interview could start and she found an escape)

Manmohan ji decided to remain silent over the whole issue.

The general public seems to be very excited about the video. According to an email by One of our readers, it would be really nice to see Manmohan ji speak on occasions other than 15th august and 26th jan.  After the famous Hrithik-Aishwarya kiss in Dhoom2, the Dhamaka video has become the most Awaited and unpredictable thing in our country.

Since this seems to be one of the very few steps of government which has pleased the general public, we are hopeful that release of these videos might also be a start of a new era where we’ll also see our leader speak (something awaited since the second last elections! )