Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Before I begin, let me wish all the readers out there a very happy girl child day. Thanks to many people’s wondrous habit of female foeticide, we don’t have a lot of women in our country compared to the male population, respecting them shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Just think about it, while I talk about the subject this post is about. So the Valentines week is near. People fall in and out of love and spend a good amount of time desperately trying to get into and then maintaining relationships every day, this is the week where we kind of get a license to do it. Now that line might have made it look like I hate this whole concept… but I don’t. I just had to say something offensive in the beginning, I learned that in the writing class I’ve been taking. Remind me to ask for my money back.

Although being an engineer, talking about love doesn’t really suit me, but the readers of this blog would know, that is pretty much all I had when I started. Love has multiple stages from the time it begins to the time it grows full-fledged inside you… kind of like cancer… just that the latter might have a cure we’re yet to find. If you have passed out of college, you probably have already experienced those thoughts about your crush that take you to an entirely different world… that one look that gives you the chills and a touch that puts butterflies in your stomach. The first time you dare to ask him/her out and every moment till you get the answer seems like a thousand years. It has happened to almost every one of us. Many succeed and many don’t, it’s like the circle of life. So, what exactly should one do? Close up, the well-known brand put many people to this task where they have to explain how they would propose their crush on the Valentine’s Day. And here I am, sharing my thoughts on this.

Since we live in a tech savvy world, getting someone’s number is not a big deal anymore. And so isn’t proposing someone on phone. And just to be clear, my earlier post 5 ways to ask her out was a joke post, so please don’t try chasing her with a dog, using cow tails or anything like that as well. Here’s what I think I’d do.

First logical step would be to get a hint, at least be half sure that she’ll like you back. This goes for girls too, although there’s barely any chance a guy would say no if you showed enough courage of asking him out, a girl making the first move, that’s pure gold! Next step is to start on the right foot, figuratively. If you’re already in good terms with here, go out for a movie, probably the one you know she’ll like for sure, like any Leo Dicaprio movie. If you don’t know her very well, I’d still suggest the movie, just let her choose. In my view, Coffee is too obvious, Malls are too full and Parks are too cheesy, hence the movie. Once you’re out of the movie you could go for a coffee, or a pizza, yes, pizza!! Erm… back to normal… What happens after that is probably what will be the decisive factor. Insist on taking a walk, maybe a short one, but do it. Here comes the important part, depending on how bold you can get. There could be a thousand things one can do at this moment.

Walking her through a road where you’ve already put sign boards asking her out, this time as your date… Getting a card delivered that contains your proposal, when the waiter brings the bill, seeing her expressions reading the card could be the finest moments of your life till that time… If you don’t mind involving people, making a toast also sounds like a great idea, of course you have to be an avid risk taker for that, but hey, high risk, high returns! One way that I really like is this… it’s not too bold, involves a backpack and a lot of flowers. You need to make sure that you got her favorite flowers. Now on the walk that you’re taking, make up an excuse to give her the first flower… as you continue walking, take out the second… and after a few steps, the third… Sounds creepy but after the second flower it starts becoming fun… After a number of flowers, say 10, give the eleventh one with the question that you’ve been dying to ask. There’s a very good chance it will be a yes, and with her hands filled with flowers, you at least won’t get slapped even if that’s a no! It will be even better if flowers are combined with her favorite chocolates.

Hands down, this has to be the cheesiest post ever on the blog. I can already see the female following of the blog running away. As much as I made sure that at no point I involve my personal relationship status or my history of crushes interfere with the ideas in the post, the last one would be my way of doing it. Not to mention that this will just be a beginning 😉

Do check out close up’s cupid games (http://cupidgames.closeup.in/) for more such styles and ideas, go ahead, propose your crush this valentine. Be bold!

Close Up Cupid Games.

PS: Check out your very own Kanan Gill taking this challenge:

 The problem with our country is that we’re too many. In every corner of even the remotest place in a distant city you’ll find 1-2 million people and that’s just like .08 percent of our population.  Of course there will be millions who are in a relationship, millions who are single and millions who are dead married.

So here’s something, mixed with humor-satire-sarcasm (and lies) from our daily lives to tell you what not to do this valentine.

  1. An InterCaste Relationship:
    So you’re planning to propose her. Wow! How not obvious would that be! But think about it. Is she of the same caste as you?  Will your (or her) parents approve? And if the parents do, what about the society? I mean, aren’t random people we don’t know the most important people in the world? Do not go ahead with this. I repeat, DO NOT!!
  2. Dressing Provocatively :
    Hey girl… yes you… So you planned to go out with him tonight in the sexiest dress possible? Yes, the same shoulderless one.  Funny how you didn’t think about the “Vishwa Hindu Parishad”, “ShivSena”, “RSS” and a thousand more random groups ready to beat you up on every park/beach/mall out there. Better wear a burka… and don’t you dare look out!
  3. Speaking for something:
    You’re right. India is a democratic republic and there is a thing called freedom of speech. So yes, let our politicians exercise that right with all the random words/abuses/pepper sprays/knives and you, keep quiet! Thinking of putting up an FB status against this?  You do know people get jailed for stuff like that, right?
  4. Homosexuality:
    We are a freaking billion. There is of course many guys with a different sexual orientation too. But hold on bro, this is India. We’re a country where even the movie would be named 377 instead of 300 and the guy getting kicked would be Gay! Don’t even dare to think about this.377-this-is-indiaaaaa-coming-soon-in-a-parliament-near-you
  5. Thinking about the nasty! :
    Did you know that this 377 thing can put you behind bars for years? It sure can if you’re into anything unnatural. And when I say unnatural I refer to most of the stuff that happens naturally on the Valentine’s day with many.
  6. Going out in a traditional wear (Men only):
    If you’re alone and someone confuses you to be an activist, you may face the wrath of many! Parts of your body you don’t even notice normally will hurt pretty bad. 
  7. Write an article on 7 things not to do this valentine:
    Because I already did that.
    You can do something different, innovative and entirely different though. Like.. 10 things not to do this valentine!

 

Disclaimer: This article wasn’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings. Your relationship status is already doing that job well.
If you liked it, do make a comment, I hear that makes the writers happy.

 

PS: This article has also been published here http://youthdiaries.in/7-valentine-shubham-choudhary/.

Do check out this amazing effort by YouthDiaries for the Valentine. http://www.facebook.com/youthdiaries/photos/a.304267172943188.61617.303200656383173/625869487449620/?type=1&theater

Are you ready?” Steve shouted… “You take more time than girls!” He taunted waiting for Victor inside his messy flat as usual.

C’mon Stevie! We’re late by 5 minutes. It’s not the end of the world! Relax…” Victor said in his casual carefree tone. Almost laughing at Steve’s concern.

Do you really think Jessica will mind me getting late after doing it herself every freaking time?” Victor continued… “I am just a little worried of how things will go!

Really? The super confident, Mr. I-don’t-care-about-the-world Victor Ericson… You’re saying you’re worried about something?

Easy smart ass… I am just worried about her… how she will react to my surprise. I don’t want to ruin her birthday!

So you’re worried if she’ll say a yes or no… right?” Steve asked again.

Maybe… can we talk about this later?” Victor almost nettled.

Let’s just leave and we can decide what to do in the way. And believe me, everything will be fine.” Steve smiled and moved out of the house, pulling Victor with him.

—-

“So… What is the plan?” Steve asked.

It was Jessica’s birthday. Jessica, the love of Victor’s life. She was Steve’s friend from High School, she met Victor in Steve’s birthday party. And Mr. Magnificent Victor didn’t take a second in asking her out. There was something about him that made her say a yes. Since that day they never had a problem. With a friend like Steve, things were just too good to be true. They were together for almost nine years and with every passing year Victor was falling deeper in love with her.

“Well… the plan is simple!” a grin covered Victor’s face.

“What?”

“We kill the batman!” he laughed.

“Dude! Be serious! And FYI, that was the worst joker mimicry of all times!” Steve shouted.

“Then stop asking lame questions!! What has to be the plan? We wish her, we party, we dance and then you stop becoming a third wheel and leave the two of us alone in a romantic dinner which you have arranged so I can give her the birthday present and propose her to marry me!”  Victor said in a breath.

“Wow! So now I can ask, are you sure she’s going to say a yes?”

“I hope she does. That’s where the girls win over the freaking world, don’t they?” Victor said…

“For all I know, you two are a perfect match. She will say a yes for sure… Just think about it, what would have happened had I not thrown that party!?” Steve reassured Victor.

“I wouldn’t have met her in the first place. So yeah, all in all a good life.” Victor laughed again. He loved teasing people. Specially the two most important people in his life, Jessica and Steve.

—-

It was all arranged. A romantic dinner, a mix tape of her favorite songs in the place she loved the most. Her favorite lilies, both in red and white as she liked.

The place was just right for the occasion, with a romantic ambience, dim lights and a slow music in the background. Her best friend and love… A strong bond of so many years… How could she possibly say a no tonight!

“Well… we’ve waited for two hours! She is nowhere to be seen! Even her phone is off!” Victor said… a little worried.

“It just proves that she is as lazy as you. Congrats, you found your match.” It was Steve’s turn to laugh.

“C’mon man, I am worried. Did you try calling her? Try again please.”

“Alright! Relax…” Steve said as he dialed her number again.

He returned after a few minutes. “Bad news bro! She can’t make it. Her aunt is real sick and she had to go to her place. Sorry!” Steve said as his smile turned into a frown.

“Oh crap!”

“I know you’re worried about her aunt. We can’t even go see her, she lives too far from here.”

“Dude! I am sad that all these arrangements went in vain. I was going to propose to her today!” Victor said, looking at Steve, perplexed.

“Yeah… and a lot of money wasted too…” Steve added.

“No that’s on you. I didn’t spend a penny.” Victor laughed. “Anyway, let’s go. No network here in my phone anyway, I’ll call her when we get home.”

As they were on their way back, Steve stopped the car.

“You stay, I’ll come back in a minute.”

“Sure.” Victor said as Steve went out to soon be out of his sight.

“Hey. I hope you know how much he loves you and needs you. I wish I could change things, but I can’t. I miss you.” Steve said in a very low voice. His face was doleful… he tried to control but that one tear still managed to escape his eye. He stepped ahead and put the lilies near the stone… the stone which said. Jessica Clark (1988 – 2011).

Two years back, on this very day, Victor had planned to propose Jessica as her birthday gift. Steve had made all the arrangements when he got the news that Jessica met with an accident on her way to the restaurant and died on the spot. Composed as ever, Steve managed to bear the news but it was too much for Victor. For him it was a trauma that has held him since that day. His life continued to almost be the same, except for the fact that he could never bring himself to face the truth that Jessica was no more. For him, every year was the same as that year. Life for him, was just a repetitive event.

“Man you took time! Got a secret girlfriend there?” Victor mocked as Steve made his way back in the car.

“No. But I wish what you say becomes true soon.” Steve laughed, hiding everything else beneath that smile… as they rode back towards home.

friendship

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.

Aristotle.

Thanks for reading. This story has been published in the January issue of the Storizen Magazine. You can read the awesome mag here: http://issuu.com/storizen/docs/jan2014

The shooting star!

Posted: December 5, 2013 in Fiction, Love, Sarcasm
Tags: , , ,

“Look! A shooting star…!” She said… smiling with excitement… close your eyes and wish for something, she said as she did the same.

He closed his eyes as well, wishing for something as she wanted him to.

“What did you wish for?” She asked. “Although I know we wished for the same thing.”

“Is that so? I wished that you clear your interview tomorrow. Your life depends on it. Did you wish the same?” He smiled, he knew the answer.

“Of course. Could there be any doubt! It’s just so much important” She said as she came forward and hugged him.

I am not sorry that I lied, wishing for your job was much more important than my interview. She thought as she sank in his embrace.

I am sorry that I lied… where the hell was that shooting star? Didn’t even see it! He thought as he was still trying to find the freaking star!

shooting star

Disclaimer: All the things I have ever talked about on this blog, I really mean them. In case I have knowingly and on purpose hurt anyone’s feelings, I am really sorry for your poor luck and bad hairstyle (yeah I just felt like adding that.)

Well hello people! You know today’s a special day now don’t you? I turn two today. *Claps* *Birthday songs* *Cheers* Thank you thank you. So I was talking to one of my friends and he told me that the blog is about humor and I have not been writing on that for a long time now. So I thought why not get back to the old track on the special day? So here it is, an article to help every poor soul on this earth (AKA: FriendZoned guys).

This one tells you, how to know if it’s really a date or not. (And how not to panic if it really is!). So you like her. Hang out with her. She likes you too, as a ‘friend’! How merciless and heart wrenching, is it? But there is 0.341% chance that you can still get a girl who isn’t going to put you in the friendzone, ok, 0.0341%, but don’t be sad, chance is still there right! Just read this.

How often does that happen? You and her, chatting up as usual, laughing and all when all of a sudden you drop in the idea of ‘watching the man of steel show together’ or maybe ‘trying the new double cheese pizza by dominos’ and to your surprise, without a slight delay she says yes. Now that puts you in doubt, is it a date? For you it is, but is it for her? Situation is even worse when she asked you out and you have no friggin idea if that was ‘asking out’ or asking out (you know the difference, right?).

i-dont-always-flirt-when-i-do-i-get-friendzoned

  1. Study the place you guys will be going to. See, saying yes to a ‘man of steel’ show is like accepting your friend request on a social network, not your proposal. It just means she likes Superman, not you. Also applies to Batman, Spiderman and any other man with superpowers. (Not the Indian Ra.One, Marry her if she is ready to watch that with you!)
  2.  So it is a movie, but you are going to have a pizza too after that. Now that tells something, doesn’t it? Yeah… her taste in good food! You bozo! What kind of a girl would go for a pizza on her first date? (The cool one, I know, but since she is going out with you, we’ve already established she is insane.)
  3. To know for sure she is not into you, you could try some advanced ways. Try asking her to choose a shirt for you to buy. Now a not so close one would be trying to avoid that. A too close ‘friend’ would mock you for your bad choice and then go ahead and choose some. And the kind you want, ‘close’ in a different way, would be ready to choose, but not vehemently and would go for formal wear (Mark… My… MWords.)
  4. While many guys find it attractive, I find it extremely anti-feminist that the guy has to pay. But yeah, she went out with you and you had to pay means three cases.

A:  She didn’t offer. : Either a great friend or a freeloader, my money is on latter, a phrase which btw, would never be said by her.

B: She offered and you rejected but she insisted hard and then settled for ‘she pays the next time’. : You sir, are SuperStupendousOutrageouslyFriendZoned. Ask yourself, do you WANT a next time?

C: She offered so sheepishly that you had to say no and pay. : She is the one, man! She is the one!

5. While watching a movie together with a friend is followed by some casual remarks and a normal bye, a date like this is generally followed by awkward silence, random chat and super awkward moments where you lead for a hug and she expects a handshake (even worse when you were going for a kiss.. what.. no.. never happened with me, just saying… what? no..! you suck!).

What I am saying is, just sense what she is going for and if it is anything more than a handshake and she says ‘call me’, she is definitely in!

 

6. Just call her and tell her you really liked it and would like to do it again. There can be a few possible replies.

  • Like:

A. Really, same movie, again! (She isn’t into you, she is funny, give me her number!)

B. Sure, but this time with our dates. (Got it? Go bang your head now.)

C. Not really, I got bored. (She is… well do I need to spoon feed thou?)

D. Ah, yeah why not. This time you chose the place. (Highly unlikely, and I only said this to cover everything. But yeah, you scored!)

Confused-guy

           7 . If aforementioned ways weren’t enough, ask her directly. Although I’d recommend some witnesses and at least one protective gear while you do that.

That’s it. Like those? Did you now…? really? Well, in case you did then don’t forget to leave a comment. In case you didn’t, leave one anyway, you wasted quite a lot of time coming all the way till here.

Once again, happy birthday to me and to the launch of Apollo XI, the thing that put Neil Armstrong on moon if you remember. This was post number 74 , and the blog has now crossed over 55,000 views. Thank you 😀

A story in two versions, from a son and a mother’s angle. 100 words each, read on 🙂

 

“So what’s in dinner today?” He asked his mother.

The way he had worked and not eaten anything the entire day just to earn that daily wage of 100 rupees was too much to do for any normal person.

She served the three chapatis and potato curry on a plate to him. This was the only thing she could afford making in such a small budget.

Disappointed, he looked at her, finished it and went to sleep in a sad mood. He wanted to ask for some milk, but didn’t, thinking that she might have given it to his sister.

 

100_1156

 

“So what’s in dinner today?” Her son asked.

She gave him the potato curry and three chapatis.

He has worked so hard, I wish I could make something better!” She thought.

Suddenly his expressions changed showing his disappointment with the food.

She almost cried inside but made sure it didn’t show. She wanted to offer him some milk, but couldn’t as she didn’t have enough money to buy it.

He went to sleep. She went to sleep too, skipping her dinner. For two days she hadn’t eaten anything, but her son just had dinner. Maybe she’ll make him something better tomorrow.

 

“Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.” – Erich Fromm

Hello… I have been a little busy, evident from the frequency of my blog posts. So what I did was to ask for help on my fanpage and surprisingly, I got a huge response when I asked for a co-author for my next post. Seeing that, I decided something, the month of april is going to be a co-authored post month.
And here is the first article in that series, from me and my co-author, a person known to many of you from “5 questions guys can’t answer”, Akanksha sharma! In this, we have tried to help out the other girls, in case they need some dating advice, basically, How to impress and ask a guy out!

What guys need? Is the basic question in every girl’s mind.
Well, in general they need a girl who is caring, understanding, funny and kinda intelligent. Forget what I said if you’re hot!

love is in the air

 

So here are some ways to help you get going into a guy’s heart. Remember, all the ways have not actually been tested, but legends say they work.

  • Now when your mother says “Way to a man’s heart is through his tummy” listen to her.
    Prepare His favourite dish for him (and if can’t, then order it from somewhere and tell him that you’ve made it for him). Once his mouth opens, he will say yes to anything you say, if you know what I mean.

    Alter: Just text him that you like him!

 

 

  • Wait for your birthday. Guys love asking a girl what she wants for her birthday. Ask for a special b’day gift, and now ask him out (and if he is confused then use the weapon known as “Emotional Blackmail”).

 

Alter: Just text him that you like him!

 

 

  • Try to be close to him for some time. Not chipku but close, there’s a difference, a mosquito is chipku who you just want to kill, a pug who you just pet is close. Now take that figuratively and read on. Befriend his mother! Hah ! that’s it, guys always like girls liked by their mothers.

Alter: You know! Just text him that you like him!

  • Watch his favourite movie even if you hate that to the core and use some of its dialogues on the timing. HE WILL FALL FOR YOU FOR SURE!!!
    Guys like the girls with similar choice. Now this task is tough for most girls because they’d generally not want to watch space movies and well… other types… of movies!

    Alter: Guess what!

  • In the pre historic times, when tribal women used to like a guy, they used to throw a bone at him to indicate their crush. Now things have changed, but man hasn’t. Throw him a bone. Not literally, dumb! Go and give him something, maybe a shirt or a sweater or… well, even a hanky would do, just embroider your and his name inside a little red heart. Beneath that, a kiss leaving your lipstick mark would add to the magic.
    This works when you’re really close. But when you’re really close and still not together, I’d advise to rethink.

    Alter: Did I become too serious there? This close thing is crap, just text him that you like him!

 

I know my ways were toooooo good. But still there might be some girls who would actually be looking forward to ask a guy out instead of just screwing around. So here’s a nice write up to help them. http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-a-Guy-Out

In the end, I would like to thank Akanksha for making this second co-authored post with me. Just like last time, it will be hard for her to find out what points she had actually written 😛

Next 4 posts will be co-authored as well, stay tuned and you’re gonna love it 😉

Hello everyone..

 After the 9 step guide to dating was a hit, I was thinking of telling you all some more ways to get into the world of romance. And guess what, i couldn’t think of any! But still, i have to keep the blog running right!
So here I am going to tell you 5 awesome and unique ways to ask a girl out. These ways are NOT copied from the playbook, are working if followed properly, and well, crap!

The best thing about these ways is the uniqueness blended with uselessness!!

So read carefully, and tell me what you liked the most.

Will you..!!!??

Way1.

As they say dogs are man’s best friend, use it! Buy/rent a dog and make friends with it. Train it in a way that it stops when you command. Now make the dog drink some wine, (or bhang for desi style) and set it after the girl you like.
When she is running for her life, ask her out and stop the dog only when she says yes.

Pros: 100% yes

Cons: don’t overdose the wine or you might have to run for your life!

Way2.

This one is rather less violent. Here you are going to use cows and maybe buffaloes, depending on the size of their tails. We need cattle with tail sizes around 1-2 feet. Tie them together and make a heart, show it to the girl, she won’t like the mess, but the concept is awesome, trust me!

Pros: she’ll like the uniqueness (given you try it instantly before the public reads my blog)

Cons: farts, tail dirt, cow dung, etc etc..

Way3.

So we got a little too inclined towards animals didn’t we? So here’s something human. The most awesome and working way. The wingman! Just hire a friend to play a bit for you and go towards the target girl. Let your friend ask her out and fail. You go, spread your charm (if exists) and win.!

Pros: theory of comparison works on girls.

Cons: don’t hire a friend like me, you might never see the girl again!

Way4.

This one is a bit tricky and expensive. You need to have a band of singers, a romantic place and a cowboy hat. Wear the hat, make them sing and get the girl to the place (she’ll come if u say there are 3 more friends)

Now tell her the friends cancelled and if she would like to go on more of such dates.

As the place and music is romantic, chances are that she’ll say yes. What? You want to know the use of cowboy hat? No, that’s just to make you look funny.!

Pros: She’ll say yes seeing the romance in the air.

Cons: You’re wearing a cowboy hat! And it’s expensive unless you own the band!

Way5.

Try this, meet her and straight forward ask her out. Be a man and don’t be a loser that you have to read and learn from a blog on how to ask her out. (no offence) this is indeed the best way out there!

Pros and Cons don’t really exist in this one, all depends on your courage!

So i guess i am done, i’d personally recommend way2, i haven’t seen that in practical application so it would be fun seeing a heart made with cow tails!

Good luck 😛

Relationships these days are different, Well at least for some!
So just this thought crossed my mind and here comes an imagination (Which I guess, might be true for many as well 😛 )
Have a look 🙂

 

I saw her face, was like GOD’s blessing,

couldn’t see more, thanks to her privacy settings..


I don’t generally do it, still added her with a nice message,

hoped she’ll like it and open her heart’s passage..


Came her reply, she asked me who,

A series of messages then followed through..


Adding and chatting then continued all along,

Sometimes just a hi and sometimes dedicating a song..

 

Her style was different, an attitude decent,

Beautiful she was, like the moon crescent..


We talked a lot, sometimes shared a joke,

sometimes a like, at times a post, and the “all the time” poke..!

 Relationship@facebookIt was going well, should ask her to meet, or at least the number, i thought,

didn’t really feel the need but it was worth giving a shot..

 

But One day we fought, couldn’t resolve it all,

thanks to a spam, something bad I had posted on her wall..


I apologised, didn’t poke her all day,

But she put an emotional status which got a 50 likes in its way..


I was clueless, didn’t know what to do,

then came a time when i was drunk, messaged something which i can’t undo..

 

You have many guy friends, they like all your updates, i had said,

What am i to you, just a “poke buddy”, I guess I was mad..


She was furious, blocked me as a result in pain,

I made many new profiles to see her, but alas! All in vain..

 

It was one nice phase, that ended just like it was created,

I don’t think I’ll see her again, my profile was DEACTIVATED!

After a long time, another Co-Authored post. Yes people, the bug is back, with one of my most regular readers, Gargi Trehan as my co-author this time. Have a look at the awesome journey she’s had bearing and I’ve had listening about “Tharkis”!

“Hey wassup? I know that you’re tired of people saying, “hiii there, you are cute, you are pretty, i like your smile, i like your eyes and stuff”…. and i can imagine how irritating it can be when someone out of nowhere jumps up and says “DO you wanna be my friend, or can i be your friend” and you feel like, DO i know you. Hence i would definitely not do the same, neither would i ask you to be my friend. All i shall say is why don’t we start a conversation and let friendship develop on it’s on? Ciao!”

So that’s how they talk! Yes, I am talking about the underrated, poor souls commonly known as “Tharkis”(ठरकी) and the word is also called “Lampat” (लम्पट) and “Despo” or “Desperate”. Yes I wrote it in Hindi because it gives a funny feeling reading that 😛

With my experiences, conversations and meetings with girls, I came to know this very interesting fact, that they constantly face such people in life. No matter how good-looking or how sensible the girl is (Which is rare, no offence), tharki people won’t stop hitting on them.

Now the question is, while every guy, one or the other time hits on some girl, every guy has to propose someone in his life, every person can fall in love, then how to identify the Tharki people in the crowd?
Well feel good because the bug has an answer for you.

Please don’t take the image literally 😛
So here are a few points that we came up with to help you identify a tharki.

  • They are generally of 4 levels.
    Level 1: Sophisticated and shy, but will not leave a chance once he’s frank and spam you with texts. Will hit on you with indirect ways and if by accident you tell him you’re single, one proposal your way. 
    Level 2: Might be ill mannered, talks a lot and will create chances to talk. (They also spam)
    Level 3: good thing, they don’t spam. Bad thing, They call!! They might have any of the qualities mentioned above, but it takes them 3 meetings to start hitting on you officially!
    Level 4: Eve teasing, Desperation, Open statuses, and whatever bigger things you can expect, put it there.
  • Every person can fall in love, but that is actually “Love”. If it’s a feeling of “I should have a girlfriend so let’s propose her”, then it’s a Tharki.
  • Obviously you will someday propose someone, but try that on 3 girls every month, and welcome to the world of Tharkis. (even 3 every year is a sign of the same)
  • Instead of being genuine and loving the girl they know, Tharki people try their luck on every girl. Reason: They need a girl, no choices there!
    Say on Facebook, Tharkis send sort of mugged up love letters in addition to friend request to make it sound good (A letter with which I started was a real one)
  • The Facebook Tharkis have a unique feature,  if accidentally their friend request gets accepted, they will religiously like every status of that gal even if it says “I am gonna die soon” and they will also like every other girl’s comment on the same status.
  • Very rightly said, They follow the tagline “bas naam he kaafi h” In case of hitting like button on gals status.
  • They are hardcore fans of Charlie sheen, though Charlie sheen is a Casanova and not a tharki, deep inside his heart, every tharki thinks of himself as Charlie sheen. Not to forget names like barney Stinson and joey tribbiani follow suit!
  • The best thing about Tharki people is their confidence, I just wish every engineer was this confident while giving his placement interview!
    Statistically proving the confidence, a Tharki, on an average, won’t take more than 3.7 minutes to ask for a girl’s phone number in the first chat!

So I guess there were a lot of things to let you know about them, some quick points to test the person on a “Tharki” scale.

  • Make a fake profile with a girl’s name and send him the friend request. If accepted without question, “Tharki”, moreover, if the DP was of some celeb, “MAHATHARKI”
  •  Ask the guy to close his eyes and take the first name (of a girl) that comes to his mind. A waiting time of more than 10 seconds, “Tharki”. A minute, “MAHATHARKI”
    (because there is a whole slideshow running in his mind, the best thing, none of those girls actually is going to be with him!) 
  •  Chat with him with someone else’s number, use a girl’s name and start getting personal. If he takes interest in return, without asking much about you, “Tharki”
  •  For girls: Give him your phone number, “9876543210”. If he tries calling, “Tharki”, if he knows the trick, he’s been a victim, “MAHATHARKI” and if he realizes it in a while, consider it normal and run other tests.

In the end, here is a Gyan Tip:

Remember, every guy in the world is born with a quality, a factor of attraction towards the opposite gender. Now when he feels it’s scarcity around, a fear of remaining single, a doubt on his qualities, all other friends getting committed, and above all, if he’s an engineer, Chances are that he’ll either become a Tharki or a Writer. (Hence
I finish any chances of you calling me the former).

So that’s it, for now, I hope I could impart you some knowledge and make you find out the differences between a genuine guy, a confused guy, a casanova and a Tharki. Once again I thank my Co-Author Gargi Trehan, a talented writer, an awesome guitarist and an intelligent commerce student. She gave me the real time experiences she had with the Tharki class people, which were instrumental in the post. You might want to read her blog GuitarGuruji as well.

PS: i know you want to ask, “Can’t girls be Tharki?” Obviously they can be, we’ll talk about that later 😉

This post has also been featured in the blog of TheWittyShit.com