Archive for the ‘In Conversation With’ Category

Hello people! I hope you’ve read In conversation with a married guy and In conversation with the relationship guy before.

This is yet another conversation, this time with the over obsessed and mostly ignored, BBM guy!

We’ve finally found him. The guy who got BBM on his android phone. Out of all who were too busy in updating their Facebook statuses, he gave us a little time from his busy schedule. Before we start talking to him, here’s a little snippet from what he said in his thank you note.

“I too have a BBM pin now. I can’t believe it finally happened. It’s like one of the biggest dreams of my life come true. My father always wanted me to become an IAS officer but I always believed in bigger things and today I have it.

I have so many people to thank. Starting with my sister who bought a blackberry when I was just 16 and always told me that someday even I’ll have it. I’d also thank my 2167 Facebook friends and the 77 girls I added who never accepted my friend requests. Specially Sunidhi, your update “add mah new BBM pin 789xyz.. xoxo :* ” was a reason I signed up for this.

My heartfelt gratitude to the makers of whatsapp, wechat and line.. Now I can brag on all these apps that they suck and I have BBM which is better. Although I have no idea why but that’s what the knowledgeable people on twitter said. They even made #WeLoveBBM a twitter trend!

Before I forget, I’d like to thank my college friend Kanhaiya who said “BBM is hawt and whatsapp sux”. It’s actually his words that gave the final push to me signing up for BBM.

When I got the clearance mail.. I was as happy as I was when I got a tatkal ticket on irctc website.”

 2011-05-16-bbm gen gap

Alright, so we have with us, Mr. BBM!! (Or that’s what everyone calls him now.)

 

Me: Hello Mr. BBM. First tell us, how does it feel to have it? Another chat client on your phone!

BBM: Hello. Thank you for calling me in this interview. Kidding, you should thank me, now that I have BBM!

 

Me: Umm.. yeah… why not! So tell us, how does it feel? What difference has it made in your life?

BBM: Everything seems much better now. There are so many girls who haven’t blocked me here. I’d get to see their statuses.

 

Me: Wow! How did you manage to get their pins?

BBM: In college that’s not a big deal. The bigger task was to chat with them anonymously!

 

Me: So how do you think this BBM would be different from Whatsapp and other chat clients?

BBM: It is blackberry! It definitely will be way better?

 

Me: I know! But how?

BBM: Well, people on twitter said that. People on facebook said that. It’s new! What else do you want from me!

 

Me: Ok Ok!! Calm down. Have some water. Now tell me what is the first thing you did when you got the BBM pin. And what after that.

BBM: I updated Facebook with my BBM pin so everyone knows I am cool.

 

Me: And then?

BBM: What else? Who am I? Bill gates!

 

Me: Didn’t you chat with anyone?

BBM: I did. I messaged a friend on Whatsapp to add me on BBM and then he emailed me that his BBM pin hasn’t arrived yet so he updated his Facebook status that he doesn’t give a damn to BBM and then he texted me to come online on Gtalk as his skype wasn’t working.

 

Me: Okay! Where does he live? Australia?

BBM: Oh no. We’re flatmates.

 

Me: I’d just pretend that didn’t happen. Moving on. What is the next thing you want this world to innovate?

BBM:  I don’t know. Hey! How about a chat client that doesn’t use Data or network to send your message. It just does it for free!

 

Me: We already have that mode of communication. It’s called a pigeon. Alright one last question Mr. BBM. What is one improvement that BBM service could do for you?

BBM: I’d love to order pizza and recharge my phone from the BBM window itself!

 

Me: I am kind of glad you didn’t ask for a handwash and coffee machine instead. Anyway, it was not so nice to have you on ABugInMyMind Mr. BBM. Would you like to tell something to our readers?

BBM: As Che Guevara said, Be the change you want to see. Peace out.

 

Me: That was actually said by… you know what… leave it.

 

So ladies and gentlemen, it is good to have BBM or Skype, Whatsapp and every other app that ever existed on your phone. But it is not so good to keep spamming other apps with the new one’s updates.

And those who are smiling because they updated anti BBM statuses, you were also adding to spam list only. Just like this blogpost… umm… wait… damn!

 

 

PS: DO NOT FORGET to like my official facebook page. I hear it’s kinda cool. ShubhamChoudhary

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When I talk about the blockbusters this blog has given, three names that come to my mind are In conversation with: A married guy (co-author Anil Sharma), The real resume of a girl (co-author Shubham Khandelwal) and The Facebook relationship (that’s just me 😉 )

All three not only won people’s hearts but managed to be liked by the critics as well. Not to mention they also bagged tangy Tuesday and spicy Saturday awards by Blogadda. So this article, is my sole attempt to recreate what I did with Anil Sharma is the article mentioned first. This time, we’re in conversation with a guy who just got in a relationship. Without further ado, let’s introduce you to Mr. X. (He doesn’t want single girls to know his name now.)

signs-of-a-desperate-man

Me: Hello Mr. X. Would you please leave your phone and join us here?
He: Oh sure. Hello everyone, love to be here.

Me: Yeah, no one came to watch you. Anyway, what were you doing there on phone? Messaging your girlfriend?
He: No, I was posting about her on twitter.

Me: Ummm… Anyway… So let’s talk about your relationship. How did it happen?
He: You know how difficult it is to get a girlfriend these days?
Me: No.
He: How would you, you don’t have one!
Me: I do.
He: But you never tweet about her! Lame! Anyway, it is difficult. I really had to put in hard work, dedication, efforts and what not!

Me: What not? Let me guess. Money, endless messages and time?
He: Who cares about time? Before her I used to watch roadies auditions all the time.

Me: I’d skip that part. Let’s get a little more personal. Was she always the one for you or it happened suddenly?
He: Suddenly. Like, in a moment.
Me: When?
He: When she said it!

Me: So you’re saying that you said yes to a girl who you didn’t feel for?
He: Look at me. Do you think I have that option?

Me: I’d agree to that! Moving on. What was the first thing you did after this love realization?
He: Posted that I am committed on Facebook.
Me: What! Ok second thing.
He: Twitter.
Me: Alright after that and Google+. Gtalk, Skype, Whatsapp and all other crap… what next?
He: What? Shouldn’t I get any sleep?

Me: Sigh! Ok, so what was her reaction after seeing all this?
He: Who?
Me: Your girlfriend? What did you think!
He: I know. Just that it feels so great when someone says ‘your girlfriend’! Well she hasn’t seen anything yet, hardly comes online!

Me: Still she chose you? So what do you think she likes in you?
He: I am really a good friend. A nice human being. With people in every condition!

Me: Wow! That’s big. Can we get any examples of those qualities?
He: Yesterday only. This girl said ‘I am really sad, mah dog hasn’t eaten anything today’ on Facebook and I commented ‘There there’.

Me: I should have seen that one coming! So tell us one thing you really like about her.
He: My friends say she is hot. Out of my league. Maybe she watches Champions league all the time, that’s why!

Me: SHE IS A FOOTBALL FAN!!!! <Sat back on my chair>. Ahem. Ok. That’s good to know. So is there any advice you would like to give to all the single guys there?
He: Ha! Suckers! I win!

Me: That was… umm… precise! So tell us about your love life. Any special dates?
He: Not yet. I just got committed. Posted about it. We couldn’t talk next day and now here I am. But you don’t need to worry, I’ll blog about the date once we do it.

Me: I am sure that’s something every reader will read! And this question remained untouched somehow, what did she say when she first told you about her feelings?
He: I love you! And then after we cut the call, she sent me some mail I am yet to see.

proposal

Me: I feel old. Things these days have changed or it’s just you?
He: It’s me. Not everyone is lucky to have a girlfriend you see.

Me: How do your friends react to this?
He: I am not able to give them time now. They are kind of angry, I think it’s jealousy. But some respect me too. They even raise their hands when I see them from far.
Me: Do you have vision problems?
He: A little myopic.

Me: Hmm. I am pretty sure they have their middle finger raised while they’re respecting you that way. One more question, with so much going around you, what do you think is more important? Work, education, family, country or relationship?
He: I’ll answer that indirectly. Only single guys answer one of the first four options.

Me: I think it’s time to wrap. It was (not) a pleasure talking to you. (I feel choked and it seems I’d have to take a treatment for bullshit syndrome!)
He: Wait, I am getting a call.

<Speaker on>

 He: Hello
She: Hey, how are you.
He: I am great. Love you!
She: What?
He: Don’t you love me cheeku?
She: Are you drunk? When did I say that? And don’t say that name again, ever… to any girl!
He: But 3 days back you said that on phone. Remember?
She: I love YouTube!!! That’s what I said you idiot. I even mailed you a video of the cat combing her fur that day!

Don’t think much, he fainted. We took him to a hospital where he proposed a nurse and got beaten up.

That Mr. X is almost every other guy these days. Not literally, but well, almost. So guys, life is simple. Take it easy. Learn to appreciate and be modest and above all, listen properly. 😛

In case you don’t like it, comment below and I’ll make sure I make the perfect excuse for that.

Hello people… In case you’re reading the blog not because I forced you to and spammed you with the link, there’s only one other reason (I hope), you think it’s funny.
So I thought, why not introduce you all to a person who is probably the wittiest guy I have ever met. There are many people who can be funny, but to be genuinely humorous and that too with a natural flow is a characteristic feature of Anil Sharma, a friend from Nepal who by the way, was also voted the wittiest guy on a platform called “TheWittyShit.com” (Not to mention that I was second 😛 )

With this article, I am starting a new category, “in conversation with” where I’ll tell you about my awesome conversations with some awesome people. (Hypothetical in nature, sometimes purely imaginary interviews too)

So the thing is, I am 21, and he is… err… old.  I am not married (And single, girls can take a note) and he belongs to the underprivileged community of married people. In our usual conversations, here are some differences we found out in married life and well, normal life!

Me:  So is it true, when they say marriages are made in heaven?
He:  If heaven is full of Chinese people then yeah, they are!

Me:  So what’s better, arrange marriage or love marriage?
He:  You need to take English lessons pal! Something has to be good to have a superlative called better.

Me:  Oh c’mon, it can’t be that bad! Ok tell me your views about arrange marriage.
He:  Arrange marriage for a man is like Eid for a goat. They treat him like a prince, feed him with great foods, and dress him with bright colours and then……

Me:  Better not speak, anyway, how about love marriage? That sounds tempting, huh?
He:  Have you heard those hindi idioms, “aa bail mujhe mar” and “apne pair pe kulhadi marna”!

Me:  Ohhhk, So why do you think that is? What makes marriage a disaster?
He:  A wife!

Me:  You have to speak a little more, you see, we want to explore!
He:  See, it starts right from the beginning, Marriage is danger, that is why the bride always wears RED.
Moreover, you want to see a comparison, it goes like this:

Before engagement: We are made for each other.  Between engagement and wedding: We are mad for each other.  After marriage: We are maid for each other.

Me:  But there are some good things too right? Like kids, who doesn’t love them!?
He:  When a man says “I like kids” always understand he IS talking about the process.

Me:  I’d agree to that for sure! 😛 I’ve heard that TV is the most problematic thing for a married person. Is that so?
He:  Yep, most common problem is TV. Husband always wants to watch Football and wife always want to kick his balls using her foot.  The wife always wants to watch “Punar-Vivah” and the husband wants it for real.

Me:  I wonder, is it really that bad? Why do people want to get married then!
He:  Have you heard people say marriage is like motichoor ka ladoo , well they are wrong. It’s like a dominos pizza, costs a lot, sounds tempting but tastes like hell, but to taste, you have to try it!
PS: for 80% of indian population, marriage is the easiest way to get laid!

Me:  So sir, any tips for those who just got married or are about to commit this serious mistake?
He:  There is a bunch of tips actually. Take a note.

  • Don’t waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she will treat you like a clown anyway.
  • Never reply to your wife’s “I love you” text with an “Okay”. (That time he also showed me the little wound he had near his forehead)
  • Remember, a perfect husband is one who apologies every time his wife makes a mistake.
  • And yes, take you wife on holidays to different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost.
  • When she asks for your credit card, give it immediately or you’ll give it after an hour with a broken limb!

Me:  And before you go, if I can ask, what’s the secret of a successful marriage?
He:  There’s a reason they call it a secret!!! No one knows it!!

So that’s it, I am sure this conversation made you laugh. This was Me (Shubham) with He (Anil Sharma) at his best. For more of his humorous jokes, don’t forget to visit his blog FuddledAndPuzzled. I am sure you’ll love it.

Do tell me who you would like to have a “conversation with” next and I’ll try. 🙂