7 things not to do this valentine

Posted: February 14, 2014 in Love, Nonsensical How tos and guides, Sarcasm, Satire
Tags: , , ,

 The problem with our country is that we’re too many. In every corner of even the remotest place in a distant city you’ll find 1-2 million people and that’s just like .08 percent of our population.  Of course there will be millions who are in a relationship, millions who are single and millions who are dead married.

So here’s something, mixed with humor-satire-sarcasm (and lies) from our daily lives to tell you what not to do this valentine.

  1. An InterCaste Relationship:
    So you’re planning to propose her. Wow! How not obvious would that be! But think about it. Is she of the same caste as you?  Will your (or her) parents approve? And if the parents do, what about the society? I mean, aren’t random people we don’t know the most important people in the world? Do not go ahead with this. I repeat, DO NOT!!
  2. Dressing Provocatively :
    Hey girl… yes you… So you planned to go out with him tonight in the sexiest dress possible? Yes, the same shoulderless one.  Funny how you didn’t think about the “Vishwa Hindu Parishad”, “ShivSena”, “RSS” and a thousand more random groups ready to beat you up on every park/beach/mall out there. Better wear a burka… and don’t you dare look out!
  3. Speaking for something:
    You’re right. India is a democratic republic and there is a thing called freedom of speech. So yes, let our politicians exercise that right with all the random words/abuses/pepper sprays/knives and you, keep quiet! Thinking of putting up an FB status against this?  You do know people get jailed for stuff like that, right?
  4. Homosexuality:
    We are a freaking billion. There is of course many guys with a different sexual orientation too. But hold on bro, this is India. We’re a country where even the movie would be named 377 instead of 300 and the guy getting kicked would be Gay! Don’t even dare to think about this.377-this-is-indiaaaaa-coming-soon-in-a-parliament-near-you
  5. Thinking about the nasty! :
    Did you know that this 377 thing can put you behind bars for years? It sure can if you’re into anything unnatural. And when I say unnatural I refer to most of the stuff that happens naturally on the Valentine’s day with many.
  6. Going out in a traditional wear (Men only):
    If you’re alone and someone confuses you to be an activist, you may face the wrath of many! Parts of your body you don’t even notice normally will hurt pretty bad. 
  7. Write an article on 7 things not to do this valentine:
    Because I already did that.
    You can do something different, innovative and entirely different though. Like.. 10 things not to do this valentine!

 

Disclaimer: This article wasn’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings. Your relationship status is already doing that job well.
If you liked it, do make a comment, I hear that makes the writers happy.

 

PS: This article has also been published here http://youthdiaries.in/7-valentine-shubham-choudhary/.

Do check out this amazing effort by YouthDiaries for the Valentine. http://www.facebook.com/youthdiaries/photos/a.304267172943188.61617.303200656383173/625869487449620/?type=1&theater

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Comments
  1. Melita says:

    You are awesome man!!!! 😀

  2. I BELIEVE says:

    I totally agree with the points, ALL of them! When you stay in India, you have to be careful about so many things at once! And seriously, we are “JUST TOO MANY!!”

  3. smita says:

    I’ll talk to u once u ‘ll b in relationship.May b already u r…n we dont know (here ‘we’ refers to janta n gharwale)…….Anyway, it was fun to read this.Good job…..

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