12 ways to Perfect straight hair, Not so ‘perfect’ after all!

If you were to ask my friends, I’d probably be the last guy to give any kind of advice on hair and hairstyles according to them. And hence, when I saw this post on Indiblogger to post something about ‘perfect straight hair’ I thought I shouldn’t do it. Since 1) I am a guy and this one seems to be a girls’ topic. 2) The aforementioned reason, were there, I closed the browser and started typing random stuff that came to my mind. And apparently, this post happened.

And now that I see, they actually wanted Crazy, Whacky and Weird Ideas only. So here we go.

Today is 12-12-12. A date which won’t appear for the next 100 years and we won’t be seeing such a repetition again for that much time (till the next 01-01-01 comes). So let’s add one more 12 to the count and roll with it.

  1. Remember those ‘center shock’ ads around 10 years back? They claimed they could get your hair straight. Although that chewing gum is hard to find now, you can still manage to make one at home. Mix some concentrated lemon juice with tamarind and dissolve around 2 Tablespoon salt in it. Drink it in one go, if you survive, it will be with straight hair!
  2. Ever had a grill sandwich? Yummy isn’t it. Now don’t switch off the grill after taking out the sandwich. Wrap silver foil around your hair and put them in it. Press the hood hard till you’re sure they’re straight (I’d recommend having someone around to keep a check on your breath… umm… in case it’s gone!)
  3. You won’t iron your hair, right? Coz that would be weird! How about using a steam iron though? At least make it trendy!
  4. This 12-12-12 thing reminds me that we won’t have such a repetition again. Or will we? Those who want a 13-13-13 can totally listen to Himesh’s song “Tera-Tera-Tera Surooooorrrrrr”. No matter what happens, I am pretty sure his voice will get you enough shocks to give an erection to your hair!
  5. Getting straight here isn’t tough, if you see that like this. Listen to “Dabangg 2” songs. ALL of them. Yes… ALL!!! I can bet that you’ll be pulling your hair so much in the meanwhile that they’ll become straight. Rock lovers, replace Dabangg with Justin Beiber.


6. Let’s get a little sciency now. Take some iron nails and some feviquick. Empty the tube in a plate filled of the nails and before the nails stick to the plate, stick them to your hair. Now stick a magnet to your shoes and wear them. The nails  ttract to the magnet and the curls just vanish. See, who could tell what you learned in class 5 would help so much.

7. So we’ve tried Eatables, Instruments, Music and Science. What’s left? I’ll tell you. Kids. We all have that bunch of little weirdoes around who will do anything to make your time like hell. Every under-3-feet kid has this habit of pulling your hair when they’re irritated.

So lift one off the ground and in case he/she doesn’t pull your hair, there’s no harm in tickling a bit to get them to do it (Unless their parents are around.)
8. Are you rich? What? Yes? Will you marr… err… nothing. You must be having a garage and a car then. Go lie in your garage and roll over a car or a motor vehicle over your hair. They’ll get straight, stylish and the treads of the tyres might as well give them a new shape!

9. This one is actually a serious one. Suggested by my sister. Use a comb regularly and read this http://www.sunsilk.com.au/expertise/best-hairstyle-is-as-straight-as-can-be.html. I hear it works! (Since I have a lot of female readers, I’d prefer a feedback on this one 😉 )

10. While I am suggesting everything to get you straight hair in every not-so-possible way, people would say why have straight hair at all!? When you can have superb curvy… err… curly looks.

I’ll tell you why. Coz then you’d look like this.

devaang style
My fellow MNITians will know the reason of my death in the next few days now! 😛

11. Listen to 12 Rajinikanth jokes and tell yourself that Rajinikanth can’t get your hair straight. Since it’s his birthday, he won’t kill you, but he’ll surely straighten up your hair by thinking about it.

12. When none of the above ways work and you’ve reached till here, look in the mirror, you already have straight hair! After all you read a full post on my blog. Not a cake walk I tell you!

So this is it. I have tried not making sense as long as I could, if by mistake I made sense somewhere, that was purely coincidental and unintentional. Kindly bear with it.

Also wish me luck, maybe the super awesome sunsilk people will give me a goodie for writing this! 😛

And you do know my book is published, write… err… right?
Buy it here: www.bit.ly/booklinks, www.bit.ly/booklandmark, www.bit.ly/bookflipkart 🙂


PS: Thank you Shubham Khandelwal, my co-author in the most liked post till date of this blog “The Resume of a girl” for his inputs in the post. 🙂

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