5 texts a day… keep hatred away!

Posted: August 24, 2012 in Lifestyle, One liners, Sarcasm
Tags: , , ,

Hello government, You suck!!! Just when i was ready to post about the 5 message limit, you extended it to twenty!!! :/
But guess what, this is MY blog… I’ll post whatever I want. So go ahead. 😛

So this is my take on the recent ban on text messaging. After Christopher Nolan’s ‘ban’e, this is the next ban India is talking about. Actually saying a ban isn’t right, it is a restriction, now you can’t send more than five twenty messages each day. But for youngsters like us, this is even worse than a ban. Imagine a situation when your girlfriend got pissed off right after the fifth twentieth message. Or you accidentally sent a wrong message and you don’t have one left to say sorry.

The most grief stricken are the students who used to laugh at their crotch during lectures, i.e. texted with the mobiles hidden behind the desks. Now they’ll have to actually attend the lectures!! I pity those who now cannot send me the messages saying a poor girl will get a dollar if I forward that to 10 people. Poor people! That was the sole way of entertainment in their otherwise worthless life.

Here are a few jokes that occur to my mind while I hear about the restriction and people’s reactions to it.

  • Now that you can send five messages per day, maybe guys will be able to figure out which girl is the one. OR at least narrow down the list to five!
  • So the government wants to prevent hate messages. Are we allowed to send five hate messages per day?
  • Earlier they used to say “Dear girls, if a guy pauses a game to send you a message, marry him.” Now I think we should change it to, “Dear girls, if a guy sends you a message, marry him”.
  • For me the perfect couple now is the one in which they send all five messages to each other.
  • In case a girl replies to your two texts in a row, believe me guys, it’s time you should tell her your feelings. (I know you feel since you texted her twice as well.)
  • For those who are happy since they didn’t have a message pack earlier as well, BEWARE! These people, after recovering from the trauma of this restriction, might start studying/working and beat you!!
  • The government is very thoughtful; they put a restriction on messaging right after they said they’ll provide free phones to villagers. This way they will refuse to take one!
  • Do you know which the latest Rajinikanth joke is these days?
    Rajinikanth can send six messages a day.
    Do you know why haven’t you heard about this?
    No one sends forwards now!
  • Now most roadies contestants don’t know if eid was this Sunday or Monday. Since they didn’t get any ‘happy eid’ message.
  • Whatsapp is the new replacement for text messaging. While it’s number of downloads have increased twofold in the past week, there were a few hundred broken phones with ‘bada’ OS found in trash.
  • While everyone is busy blaming the government for five message restriction, no one noticed that V.V.S Laxman retired from Test Cricket. Those who did, unfortunately couldn’t send chain forwards about it.
  • Multiple Sim phones are also becoming popular now so that people can send more than 5 texts a day. Probably after the ban is lifted, we’ll have lots of fraud cases to deal with. What a planning by the government!
  • The new company schemes are something like that. “Recharge with a 15 day message pack worth Rs 25, get a talk time of 15 and data pack of 1 gb free.”
  • Now the classic excuse of getting a girl’s number, “I have to go now, why don’t you text me” won’t work. Guys need to change their ways, temporarily at least.
  • The last one: How many jokes did I say? Fifteen, I bet this is more than the number of texts you sent in last two days. 😛 (This one still holds true if you haven’t send more than 10 texts today 😛  )

So how big is the effect of this restriction on your life? Tell me. Did you awkwardly keep staring on your mobile screen wanting the failed text to try one more time? Or you are spending way too much time on Facebook and Twitter now? I believe none of you can say that you didn’t try resending the sixth message when it happened for the first time.

From my side, I’d like to give a few suggestions to our government. Don’t remove the restriction, life seems peaceful now. At least people realize the importance of meeting and calling. For those who are far, we do have social networks to stay in touch. And in case you want to increase the restrictions, make it at most 2 statuses per day on Facebook. The people blabbering about this restriction are becoming way too annoying now.

And a few more restrictions can be on the number of likes every day. This way not ALL girls will get them and we’ll know who are the most intellectual hottest ones.

This is it. Feel free to tell me how you liked the article. Comment here, share if you like. And well… Text me 😛

Advertisements
Comments
  1. this restirction will make people more cuious .. instead of doing something about the matter and not worrying about their VOTE bank .. they are pulling such stupid stunts

  2. GARGI says:

    Do hell with government….Rajnikanth will be so proud of you man! 😀 I’m hardly moved by this 5 texts per day news but m surely moved by this post.

  3. I like this: ” I’d like to give a few suggestions to our government. Don’t remove the restriction, life seems peaceful now. At least people realize the importance of meeting and calling.”
    And obviously, “students who used to laugh at their crotch during lectures” is hilarious! 😀

    • shubhamc21 says:

      First of all.. SIR!!!!! Your comment on my blog.. it’s like.. well.. your comment on my blog!! Sorry I couldn’t find anything scarcer 😛
      And then.. thanks.. the second one was my favorite too 😀

  4. Rahul Pandey says:

    The problem with your lists’ posts is that they are in bullet points and not numbered. The reader cant tell which one he liked and as a result he has to say all of them. Very clever.

    Cant count which point/s was/were it was hence i loved them all. 😛

    Even if the government bans SMS i won’t be affected. Since the ban i got only one message (from a friend) with an account number in it saying, ‘Jaldi se paise daal.’ The worst part was that the banks were on strike. Pura popat hogaya.

    This (using SMS for hate and violence) is a practical example of resource (freedom) misused. The government has the responsibility of 120 billion Indians, it would do whatever it may find suitable as it does not won’t people and the media blaming it (which is happening even now but the previous one is worse.)

    • shubhamc21 says:

      cleverer person is you my boy. Made the longest comment without even giving me the slightest idea if u liked it or not (Except for the jokes of course) 😛
      And about blaming the government, if you read my independence day post, you know my views, this one was plain sarcasm 🙂

  5. Anil Sharma says:

    Hahahaha, hilarious 😀

  6. Gauri says:

    loved it 😀

  7. virajraol says:

    This ban is more cruel than the one from TDKR!
    But the increased limit helped me to find who are my best SMS friends! 😛

    Nice article, nice humour! (especially the rajnikanth joke! 😉 )
    Keep writing, we’ll keep enjoying 😀

  8. Tarun Meena says:

    ‘bada’ OS lol!!, Sorry rahega dost!!! 🙂 😛

  9. Jaishvats says:

    Lol 🙂 yes , life would have been more peaceful 🙂

  10. Abhishek Jaiswal says:

    this one is jus awesome 🙂 SHubs

  11. Akshat Bhargava says:

    superlike!!!! 🙂

  12. skr says:

    This government is aiming not just to restrict message limits but our social freedom too, realier they said ban facebook, twitter, now stop sending messages……
    Its not far don’t talk to your neighbour or else you can be imprisoned.

    This government is frightened with their acts and somehow they know our so great generation will sit online and post some statuses about it and will get chill down by it and this way agitaion shall end in public.

    My questions are from Government on their this step –

    1. Why don’t they put restriction on wasting time of Parliament by members.
    2. why don’t they put restriction & time frame to dispense justice
    3. why don’t they restrict time frame of investigating committees
    4. why don’t they restrict the maximum no of vehicle used by Manmohan singh
    5. why don’t they restrict the number of promises made by our Prime Minister, which never gets fulfilled.

    Despite having Great economist as PM, our country is behind. what else should i say.

    • shubhamc21 says:

      Very rightly said. I’d agree to most of your points. Though with this scenario, practical application is impossible. Though the article was plain sarcasm and wit, glad you could find the point in it 🙂

  13. smita says:

    LIKE LIKE superlike.
    I dont think such bans may “actually” effect anyone’s life..
    i liked ur suggestions to government very much
    .

liked it? tell me please

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s