Hello people… In case you’re reading the blog not because I forced you to and spammed you with the link, there’s only one other reason (I hope), you think it’s funny.
So I thought, why not introduce you all to a person who is probably the wittiest guy I have ever met. There are many people who can be funny, but to be genuinely humorous and that too with a natural flow is a characteristic feature of Anil Sharma, a friend from Nepal who by the way, was also voted the wittiest guy on a platform called “TheWittyShit.com” (Not to mention that I was second 😛 )
With this article, I am starting a new category, “in conversation with” where I’ll tell you about my awesome conversations with some awesome people. (Hypothetical in nature, sometimes purely imaginary interviews too)
So the thing is, I am 21, and he is… err… old. I am not married (And single, girls can take a note) and he belongs to the underprivileged community of married people. In our usual conversations, here are some differences we found out in married life and well, normal life!
Me: So is it true, when they say marriages are made in heaven?
He: If heaven is full of Chinese people then yeah, they are!
Me: So what’s better, arrange marriage or love marriage?
He: You need to take English lessons pal! Something has to be good to have a superlative called better.
Me: Oh c’mon, it can’t be that bad! Ok tell me your views about arrange marriage.
He: Arrange marriage for a man is like Eid for a goat. They treat him like a prince, feed him with great foods, and dress him with bright colours and then……
Me: Better not speak, anyway, how about love marriage? That sounds tempting, huh?
He: Have you heard those hindi idioms, “aa bail mujhe mar” and “apne pair pe kulhadi marna”!
Me: Ohhhk, So why do you think that is? What makes marriage a disaster?
He: A wife!
Me: You have to speak a little more, you see, we want to explore!
He: See, it starts right from the beginning, Marriage is danger, that is why the bride always wears RED.
Moreover, you want to see a comparison, it goes like this:
Before engagement: We are made for each other. Between engagement and wedding: We are mad for each other. After marriage: We are maid for each other.
Me: But there are some good things too right? Like kids, who doesn’t love them!?
He: When a man says “I like kids” always understand he IS talking about the process.
Me: I’d agree to that for sure! 😛 I’ve heard that TV is the most problematic thing for a married person. Is that so?
He: Yep, most common problem is TV. Husband always wants to watch Football and wife always want to kick his balls using her foot. The wife always wants to watch “Punar-Vivah” and the husband wants it for real.
Me: I wonder, is it really that bad? Why do people want to get married then!
He: Have you heard people say marriage is like motichoor ka ladoo , well they are wrong. It’s like a dominos pizza, costs a lot, sounds tempting but tastes like hell, but to taste, you have to try it!
PS: for 80% of indian population, marriage is the easiest way to get laid!
Me: So sir, any tips for those who just got married or are about to commit this serious mistake?
He: There is a bunch of tips actually. Take a note.
- Don’t waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she will treat you like a clown anyway.
- Never reply to your wife’s “I love you” text with an “Okay”. (That time he also showed me the little wound he had near his forehead)
- Remember, a perfect husband is one who apologies every time his wife makes a mistake.
- And yes, take you wife on holidays to different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost.
- When she asks for your credit card, give it immediately or you’ll give it after an hour with a broken limb!
Me: And before you go, if I can ask, what’s the secret of a successful marriage?
He: There’s a reason they call it a secret!!! No one knows it!!
So that’s it, I am sure this conversation made you laugh. This was Me (Shubham) with He (Anil Sharma) at his best. For more of his humorous jokes, don’t forget to visit his blog FuddledAndPuzzled. I am sure you’ll love it.
Do tell me who you would like to have a “conversation with” next and I’ll try. 🙂