In Conversation with: A married guy!

Posted: May 15, 2012 in Author's choice, Co-Authored, In Conversation With, Sarcasm
Tags: , , ,

Hello people… In case you’re reading the blog not because I forced you to and spammed you with the link, there’s only one other reason (I hope), you think it’s funny.
So I thought, why not introduce you all to a person who is probably the wittiest guy I have ever met. There are many people who can be funny, but to be genuinely humorous and that too with a natural flow is a characteristic feature of Anil Sharma, a friend from Nepal who by the way, was also voted the wittiest guy on a platform called “TheWittyShit.com” (Not to mention that I was second 😛 )

With this article, I am starting a new category, “in conversation with” where I’ll tell you about my awesome conversations with some awesome people. (Hypothetical in nature, sometimes purely imaginary interviews too)

So the thing is, I am 21, and he is… err… old.  I am not married (And single, girls can take a note) and he belongs to the underprivileged community of married people. In our usual conversations, here are some differences we found out in married life and well, normal life!

Me:  So is it true, when they say marriages are made in heaven?
He:  If heaven is full of Chinese people then yeah, they are!

Me:  So what’s better, arrange marriage or love marriage?
He:  You need to take English lessons pal! Something has to be good to have a superlative called better.

Me:  Oh c’mon, it can’t be that bad! Ok tell me your views about arrange marriage.
He:  Arrange marriage for a man is like Eid for a goat. They treat him like a prince, feed him with great foods, and dress him with bright colours and then……

Me:  Better not speak, anyway, how about love marriage? That sounds tempting, huh?
He:  Have you heard those hindi idioms, “aa bail mujhe mar” and “apne pair pe kulhadi marna”!

Me:  Ohhhk, So why do you think that is? What makes marriage a disaster?
He:  A wife!

Me:  You have to speak a little more, you see, we want to explore!
He:  See, it starts right from the beginning, Marriage is danger, that is why the bride always wears RED.
Moreover, you want to see a comparison, it goes like this:

Before engagement: We are made for each other.  Between engagement and wedding: We are mad for each other.  After marriage: We are maid for each other.

Me:  But there are some good things too right? Like kids, who doesn’t love them!?
He:  When a man says “I like kids” always understand he IS talking about the process.

Me:  I’d agree to that for sure! 😛 I’ve heard that TV is the most problematic thing for a married person. Is that so?
He:  Yep, most common problem is TV. Husband always wants to watch Football and wife always want to kick his balls using her foot.  The wife always wants to watch “Punar-Vivah” and the husband wants it for real.

Me:  I wonder, is it really that bad? Why do people want to get married then!
He:  Have you heard people say marriage is like motichoor ka ladoo , well they are wrong. It’s like a dominos pizza, costs a lot, sounds tempting but tastes like hell, but to taste, you have to try it!
PS: for 80% of indian population, marriage is the easiest way to get laid!

Me:  So sir, any tips for those who just got married or are about to commit this serious mistake?
He:  There is a bunch of tips actually. Take a note.

  • Don’t waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she will treat you like a clown anyway.
  • Never reply to your wife’s “I love you” text with an “Okay”. (That time he also showed me the little wound he had near his forehead)
  • Remember, a perfect husband is one who apologies every time his wife makes a mistake.
  • And yes, take you wife on holidays to different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost.
  • When she asks for your credit card, give it immediately or you’ll give it after an hour with a broken limb!

Me:  And before you go, if I can ask, what’s the secret of a successful marriage?
He:  There’s a reason they call it a secret!!! No one knows it!!

So that’s it, I am sure this conversation made you laugh. This was Me (Shubham) with He (Anil Sharma) at his best. For more of his humorous jokes, don’t forget to visit his blog FuddledAndPuzzled. I am sure you’ll love it.

Do tell me who you would like to have a “conversation with” next and I’ll try. 🙂

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Comments
  1. shailesh says:

    wow…
    great yaar…
    ek dost ki yaad aa gayi jo purane jokes bhi aise sunata tha ki pehle se zyada hansi aati thi..,
    the conversation was great., just luved it.

    PS:- i like kids.. :p

  2. Wow, loved it…too good yaar 😛

  3. smita says:

    hmmm……….But …but ….Shubham…..its not true dear.(No need to mention i am a married female reader).
    Real Resume of a girl…n now this……….????(muje shilpi di ka FB comment yaad aa raha hai…”bahut pitoge tum dono”) .plz listen to few of my feelings too before having such conversation with “she”.
    Now cumg to the point….its actually too hilarious…ans of 1st ques is suprliked…..Also comparision with pizza instead of laddo…wat a thought…..”kya gehrai hai vicharo mein….wah” !Seriously whole conversation is too funny.u may ask few more ques to shadi ka bakra….i am sure bahut saare dard ab bhi bahar nahi aaye honge eg. sasuma ka aana,biwi k haath ka khana,biwi ki frnd ki beti ka bday ya phir,bua ki beti ki saas ki anniversry ……..long story on bed b4 sleep abt woh pehli baar jab hum mile…etc2 MR. HE MAY STILL HAVE A LONG LIST.

  4. Rubal Bhatia says:

    Good one Shubham, dude, I read it atleast three times a day.
    Awesome 🙂

  5. gauri says:

    why aint i able to see fuddledand puzzled ? am i blocked ? wanted to read it .. 😦

  6. Shubham Khandelwal says:

    Hillarious is the word and the best part “made… mad… maid” 😀 😀

  7. Vij says:

    Good one… but I being the proofreader you appointed 😉 couldnt help noting some spelling mistakes.. its arrangeD*.. every time it was spelled as arrange, which is wrong! and u typed “you” instead of your* in a place… (take you wife on holidays)
    sorry 😉
    good article but.. 😛

  8. ankita says:

    first tym m commenting on ur blog……this is d best crap u have ever uploaded..:p

  9. Ritu Lalit says:

    Very witty. Loved it

  10. Haha! Very nice!!! Next time have a conversation with a fat teenager. They have a lot to say. And I will be ready to volunteer.:P!

  11. Rahul Pandey says:

    Loved it.
    Going by the ‘feel’ of the conversation I think (Mr.) Anil (Sharma) would be the happiest BHAIYA of the world!

  12. bb says:

    my blog has the same theme ….hehe

  13. Giribala says:

    Gyan unloaded! Every sentence rings true!!!!

  14. debajyoti says:

    awesome!! loved it!! wanted to read it for quite sometime, finally managed to read it; i mean, i was not busy, just little lazy to click on the blog link.

  15. Mahima says:

    haha…enjoyed 😀

  16. pragya says:

    note taken u r not married! 😛
    i like d way! in conversation…interestng! 🙂 its rare dat id jus listen to ppl tlkng n nt speak in middle 😛 bt dis was a nice chat! written well…without loops 🙂
    n anil! ouch! pretty sarcastic man! oh wait ..slapstick humour dis was 😐 😛 anyway! m no married woman 😛 soooo i liked d posT!
    bt i love d donts!!
    go thru dem well dodo..ul hv a successful ‘life’! 😛 🙂

    • shubhamc21 says:

      Thanks for taking the note, spread it in all ur single frnds 😛
      It’s rare? No, it’s the first time you did that 😛
      Anil is not pretty sarcastic, he’s the king of sarcasm, and you will hate him once you get married, just like his wife 😛
      I went through everything waise, it’s a nice article 😛

  17. […] In Conversation with: A married guy! […]

  18. […] I talk about the blockbusters this blog has given, three names that come to my mind are In conversation with: A married guy (co-author Anil Sharma), The real resume of a girl (co-author Shubham Khandelwal) and The Facebook […]

  19. triptigoel says:

    This is just more than fantastic. There are points where I almost cracked laughing. xD
    TOO GOOD. 😀

  20. […] Shubham What: In Conversation with: A married guy! Spicy: Q. What makes marriage a disaster? Ans. A Wife! This is a really hilarious conversation […]

  21. […] people! I hope you’ve read In conversation with a married guy and In conversation with the relationship guy […]

  22. melita says:

    this was Fantastic!! 😀

liked it? tell me please

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