Life in a local train

Posted: May 11, 2012 in Lifestyle, Nonsensical How tos and guides, Sarcasm
Tags: , , ,

Isn’t it pretty amazing, there is an athlete hidden in you and you never knew!!

Yes, i am talking about you, you disgruntled poor soul. A common man. Now please add all the dialogues said by nasiruddeen shah in “a Wednesday”. It will give you a feel and save me some work.

Anyway, moving on, i was talking about an athlete hidden in all of us. Well actually most of us, atleast in those who keep travelling in those local trains. Now you know what i am talking about right?

I always knew you’re smart. So i was thinking about the plight of the people who have to travel in a local train. I realized it the moment i saw hundreds of people struggling for a place in a local three years back, and blogged it today (Yes, i am that slow!!)

So let’s tell you a few things you should know while you travel in a local train in India.

1) The boarding style in a local train

Fast and crisp, if you lose it, loss of limb is expected. How a man with a suitcase and tie does it is commendable!

2) Once you’re in

Search for a place to.. Well.. Adjust yourself. Those who get to sit in a local are known as “people with luck of gold”. Those who stand are lucky as well and rest are lucky that they atleast get to exist inside a local train.

3) Holding yourself

In a moving local, you have to keep in mind a lot of things. Hold properly your bag, your wallet, your phone, your hands, your legs and well a lot more! You never know “kahan se kya ud jaye”!

4) The unknown stops

When you can’t even breathe properly, having an idea of stops is crap! So be ready, in every local train, once in every while, you’ll experience 50 kg of asses in your front and 50 kg of fronts on your ass.

5) In case you spot a seat

Defy gravity, jump more than jones, run faster than bolt because this IS your chance. Become the Ethen Hunt for a while and don’t let anyone else overpower you at this one. Yes, you have spotted the jackpot my bwouy!!

6) Time to say bye

I know, this was the journey of your life. And after this you hopefully safely and in one piece have landed to your destination. Now make space for those who rush in and make sure no one steps on you in the process. Get out (preferably while train is standing) though you need a lot of precision for the same.

My air fares are less than local trains these days, please travel in my plane!!!

Things I just told are those to which people exclaim for sure. Those who travel in locals exclaim because they never knew they do all this. And those who don’t, well they never knew as well!

But one thing from the core of my heart, these locals are the veins of Indian system (exaggeration). People who travel in them are like warriors (super exaggeration) and i am awesome (true story)!

Hope you liked it, next time I’ll tell you the story of a kingfisher airplane. (Get your tongue back in.)

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Comments
  1. sudeshnadas says:

    I dunno if it’s restricted to Kolkata, but I think this merits an inclusion in the list as well :
    Vendors own the train. They have full right to stand in the passages, shouting out their products at the top of their voices. And if you have to reach the gate because the train is about to reach your destination, you can wait. Selling bangles is more important.

  2. guitaRnB says:

    the daily experience of my life in local train since past 3 year’s flashed before my eyes…i second each n every part

  3. srayyangar says:

    Travelling in local train is really a herculean task and you have captured all the exercises one has to do in a humorous style.Despite all this, I like travelling in trains and you can read my olden days experience here-
    http://srayyangar.blogspot.in/2010/06/nostalgic-train-journey.html

  4. The Local Trains called life line on Mumbai but it is full power pack gym workout kit..includes small-big every type of workout….it help to increase ur stamina ..n when people who usually dont travel in locals, they actually know where they stands in terms of stamina, speed, reflexes, attentive(for seats of course) and many more things…….(According to my experiences in last 1-2 years)

  5. Vij says:

    hehe.. i have never traveled in a local train myself.. (*phew*) 😛 Lol… 😉 (Coz there are none here), but our bus rides, especially at the peak hours, are extremely similar to this… hehe funny and well..very real!

  6. smita says:

    good one……Malya sahab ki photu aur naseer sahab k jikr ne isme jaan dall di.
    one more thng…..If u r tired or want to use FB desperately and need a seat 4 tht.Then use this formula……… Pretend to have severe headache & try to fall on flr with half closed eyes.Aunties wll give you water bottle along with place to sit.wll also ask “kuch khaya nhi kya aaj subah se”

    • shubhamc21 says:

      Hehe.. thanks 🙂
      and the way you suggested is awesome, will try 😛

      • smita says:

        u r welcum Mr. writer.
        But I just hope u need not to try any formulae any day…becoz life is so lifeless n rushy in such places(mumbai comes to mind 1st).where hours n hours r dedicated to journey only.I saw couples romancing near poles of local train(as they dont get time round the clock),youngsters chating on phones to GFs/BFs or parents.Aunties cutting vegetables & exchanging receipes with their train mates and many more.
        So….i wish u buy one BM or merceedes sumday or do ferrari ki sawari instead of local train.Just for fun u may travel for few days.

  7. debajyoti says:

    yes, we all have an athlete hidden in us. absolutely loved it. even i wrote a post on train journeys sometimes back but i am too lazy to search for it and i am sure you are not going to read it.

    will come back for your kingfisher airlines post 🙂

  8. inducares says:

    Hi awesome-self-proclaimed-but your post surely is awesome!!!!!!!!

liked it? tell me please

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