The Chelsea fan code of (Mis)conduct

Posted: December 27, 2011 in One liners, Sarcasm, Sports
Tags: , , ,

Disclaimer: None of the contents in the article is meant to offend any individual/group/community. I hope you would read it in the same spirit and don’t mind the words.
Still if you mind it, I am really sorry for your sad attitude and your family and relatives who have to tolerate you.

Hello, Ladies, Gentlemen and Chelsea fans. By my previous articles, my love for football is pretty much clear to everyone. So on a popular demand, here I present to you a Football special article.

Now those 85% of my readers, who think they should skip this one, DON’T!! Why? Simple, because I won’t be using any football terminologies or anything you won’t understand. I am just expressing a simple view of a football fanatic for the rare, unfortunate, underprivileged and a disgruntled species called Chelsea fans!!
(PS: all those who don’t know about Chelsea, replace the name with your worst enemy’s)

Let there be light. Let there be rock. After these two magical sentences came the third one, let there be football and hence the men learned to enjoy. But as they say, too much goodness is harmful, so to make that even, Chelsea was born.

People make jokes on every famous thing, that’s why Chelsea was safe!!

But then came a time when they won a title, I won’t say it was a fluke because in my opinion even a fluke needs an effort. And then they were known and people started making jokes on them.
The biggest sufferers were the ones who supported them. Legend is that they were paid even more to support than to play.

Since the start of premier league, Chelsea has been a popular name. Sometimes, even girls were named after the club. Poor girl, whole of her life she’ll be called Chelsea. Wouldn’t it have been better if she wasn’t named at all? Then we all would be like, “Hey nameless, thank god your name isn’t Chelsea!”

Since people dis them a lot, I will not do… well… Anything different!

I am not all against Chelsea fans, it’s only a part of me that says that, my middle finger!

I have heard/made a lot of jokes about them, sharing a few randomly on how to behave with Chelsea fans:

  • 4 steps to enjoy KFC chicken
  1. Go to KFC
  2. Order chicken
  3. Slap a Chelsea fan
  4. Eat the chicken!
  • When you talk to them, keep in mind, There are 4 levels of madness

Normal, Extreme, The balotelli level and lastly, the incurable, Chelsea fan level!

  • You must always know the difference between a Chelsea fan and an alien?
    The latter might have a few human qualities.
  • In case of an accident, if two people are injured and one is a Chelsea fan, always help him first.
    Reason: There is no risk of a brain injury(since there’s no possibility of a brain), life can be saved
    Also, who knows by saving him you just saved their community from getting extinct!
  • This one I included in my article, 5 questions guys can’t answer, “Girls have the special power of sounding cute, dumb, sad and lovable at the same time. In guys, only Chelsea fans do that.”
  • In other news, Chelsea fans are now supporting a new tagline, do the impossible… Though they have replaced impossible with “open goal”  #Torres
  • Oh and the name Torres makes me remember, we should support for the cause “Help those suffering with Autism”

I never get enough of it, have a lot more… you can also check out these links for some certainly epic jokes definitely not made by me!
Chelsea jokes
Chelsea Articles

Also, while concluding this, I’d say that I would love to present this article to a Chelsea fan, this way I make sure that my jokes suck less than the reader!

PS: I apologize if knowingly and on purpose I’ve hurt any Chelsea fan. You know I actually mean it right?

And again, I must say, I had to pick a certain club and take a case just to have fun. I don’t personally hate Chelsea, in fact I like the way they play.
Haha, just kidding… they suck!

Disclaimer part 2: If you reached this part and still think you didn’t like the article, i am pretty sure you’re a Chelsea fan! 😀

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Comments
  1. banwari says:

    haye ram! itni bezati!

  2. Sam says:

    dislike this post! chelsea all the way

  3. Lord Gr8$t says:

    by ANY CHANCE …………is chelsea being supported by the indian govt.
    #not a random thought

  4. aayushmnit says:

    haha uda di chelsea aur uske fans ki!! shi hai..

  5. mysterygirrl says:

    heheh lolz!! ossum blossum :p

  6. Dexter Garley says:

    Outstanding post, you have pointed out some good points, I too think this is a very superb website.

  7. akones says:

    chelsea the best gloooooooooory chelsea my love

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