Hello all, you know the blog is famous right? 😛
Yesterday a strange thing happened, I received an email which didn’t say anything except for the subject line “Open the attachment in a cool and dry place”. Obviously I opened it and found this letter that I am sharing with you all. It’s a letter from Rajinikanth, containing a few myth busters about him. Since what follows is said by him, Do Believe it!!! (Even if it’s not about him 😛 )
So they are on again!! These kids I tell you, they just keep on blabbering about me.
Oh Hi..!! I am Rajinikanth… It’s my birthday and I am crying… And why shouldn’t i? Do you think I like all those jokes being made on me? They have made me a superhero!
And I am bored now! When I asked Zuckie to make Facebook, a thousand posts daily about me wasn’t something I wanted. And moreover, most of them are false, they don’t contain any truth about me.
Anyway, it’s my birthday, so I thought, why not tell you a few myths about me through this super awesome and cool blog read by over 100 people. Before you move on, pardon my poor English, Oxford dictionary will soon be updating its database with mine.
Well… To start with, they say “I was playing cricket, I hit a six and the ball was lost. Since then it’s known as the planet Pluto!!”
Ridiculous!! Pluto was not formed when I was playing cricket… it was a game of shot-put and I am ashamed that I fouled so it remained in the same galaxy!! Stop embarrassing me people!!
Next thing I heard was, “My school time notes are today known as Wikipedia!!”
I wonder why someone would spread such a stupid rumour about me. Is that even possible! Wikipedia is the result of what I used to scribble on my house walls when I was 4!! My high school notes are confidential. (The US govt. didn’t want the theory of relativity to be proven wrong!)
I don’t like it when people don’t get their facts right. They say “After Graham Bell invented the telephone, he got two missed calls from me”.
What are you thinking? I didn’t give the miss calls? Oh no… but do you really think RAJINIKANTH would give MISS calls! Those were proper rings which his deaf wife didn’t hear!!
This is just a start, I am also frustrated by the fact that people think “I rotate the earth!!”
NO!!! I just angrily pushed it once!! Rest is all Galileo’s concept. It’s like they don’t even know the basic science!! Idiots!
One thing which I always feel bad about, is the never ending comparison. They all say, all Rajinikanth jokes are inspired from chuck Norris. And some also ask “Who will win if there’s a fight between Rajinikanth and chuck?”
Frankly, I don’t want to answer that. You tell me, how you would feel if you had a kid whom you taught everything and now people start comparing you to him!
You… why are you looking back? I am talking to you!! You tell me, is it right if people say you’re a filthy loser who is pointless about his own life? I mean, I know it is correct but you won’t feel good if someone says that on your face right? So my situation is kinda similar!
When people say things like “Only Rajinikanth can count the number of stars” and “Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates” I take it as a personal insult! Why would people say that!! Even if it’s true, this is not something I am proud of. Do you know while travelling back to India when I jumped from the tower of Pisa, it bent due to my weight! Please stop referring to such incidents, it’s humiliating!!
Well… this is just a glimpse of what terrible things people say about me! You can always Google for more of my jokes, though I would recommend not to because Google also updates its database from my diary!
I hope you now know what I am actually. On a serious note, I am a Tamil actor/writer who has won 36 awards as a star. Though everyone seems to know that I can turn black holes to white, no one might know that I won a Padma Bhushan for my contribution to the film industry.
For all those who are still looking for humour in the post, I don’t know the two people who shake hands in the nokia mobile and for heaven’s sake don’t ask me the Victoria’s Secret!!!!
So the next time someone asks me anything about that, I’ll kill him by a wink!!!
PS: I also don’t have any idea why this kolaveri di!!
PPS: This blog is awesome!
A note from the author:
It’s been 12 days since I brought the last post, though I have no idea why someone would like this but I guess Rajinikanth is there, I’ll get record hits anyway. Since the letter is by Rajinikanth, do believe all things he said, including those about the blog 😛
I got record hits on the post as expected 😀
See the post on http://blog.thewittyshit.com/2011/12/16/a-letter-from-rajinikanth-birthday-special/ as well 🙂