5 Questions Guys Cannot Answer!!!

Posted: November 26, 2011 in Author's choice, Co-Authored, Lifestyle, Love, Nonsensical How tos and guides, Sarcasm
Tags: , , , ,

So this is an article about 5 questions that girls ask and guys can’t answer. This is the first time I have a co-author with me. So ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, Akanksha Sharma. She was instrumental in helping me with the questions, and well, wherever I went overboard talking about girls 😛

And before you start reading this article here are a few rules I should make clear

a)      If you’re a guy and in a relationship, you should know and learn what this article says.

b)      Oh you’re a married Guy, very sad, moving on, read this and since you’ve experience, share more!

c)       You’re a single Guy (And hot), read this and remember, you have an edge over all your single friends, hence more chances of getting girls..!!

d)      You’re a single guy (not hot and not talented), read this, praise me, and then go back listening to your Justin Beiber CD

e)      You’re a GIRL! Read this, don’t curse me, and tell me if you found any of this true… And give me your number (hey I don’t make the rules!)

PS: All the above rules are crap… umm… And so is the article… But you have already wasted a minute reading all this… waste 2 more and read further…   Keep your mind in fridge and go on reading!

So we’re talking about 5 things that a guy can’t answer… Obviously things that a girl asks… let’s roll with it.

Girls vs boys

1.       Am I looking good!!?

So what’s the deal with this question? See, every girl in the world is born with a deep down feeling of superiority about her looks over the entire mankind. But saying yes can be problematic as she might think you’re just trying to flatter her, while saying no!!! boy!! Don’t even think about it coz this might lead to severe bruises.

So how should you answer?

  1. Nice, specially this new hairstyle, looks awesome! (She won’t complain since you noticed something new.)
  2. Apparently, Black suits you way more than any other girl. (Criticize other girls and you’re good to go.)
  3. Heyyy… let’s go shopping! (Always works!)

2.       Hey, do you think she is more beautiful than me?

Yes… I know she is, but you don’t say that. Saying yes or no both lead to same conclusion, “YOU CHECKING HER OUT” and even though you were, you shouldn’t admit that!

So how should you answer?

  1. Sorry, never noticed her except for her clearly visible poor dressing sense. (as I said, Criticize other girls and you’re good to go)
  2. Who said that, no girl in the world is more beautiful than you, except for megan fox (Using a famous personality won’t make her jealous, you’re safe.)
  3. Heyyy… let’s go shopping! (Always works!)

 3.       Why don’t you understand me? (Or, what’s with that ego? Or actually anything)

There is this one simple rule with girls, NEVER SAY YOU’RE WRONG!!!!  If you’re wrong, admit that you’re wrong. If she’s wrong, again, admit that you’re wrong. Girls can sound dumb, cute, lovable and sad all at the same time. In Guys, only Chelsea fans do that.

So how should you answer?

  1. I know, I am dumb, I need you (blah blah…. Keep on going…)
  2. I am just so excited to be with you that I make such mistakes. (this line is so good    that you might even get to watch a whole cricket match with her!)
  3. Heyyy… Let’s go shopping! (You know that!)

toughest questions

 4.       Do you remember when we first met (and you first gifted me some thing, and my b’day, and my mom’s b’day and my brother,sister,father etc. etc. etc…)

One thing is clear, normal guys don’t remember ALL the dates. A few might be OK, but if you remember ALL, go get yourself checked. So the rest 98.4 % guys who are normal, don’t make a random guess in this part because that will finish the chances of your b’day getting anything special. And saying No, well, is worse than suicide.

So how should you answer?

  1. I think we’re together from ages (it’s cheesy, but works many times)
  2. Yes I do (Use that calendar in your phone, moron!)
  3. Heyyy… let’s go shopping (do I need to say why!)

5.       Tum kitna badal gaye ho. Hai na?

The BAAP of all questions. Now how the hell would someone remain unchanged over years? And girls are the ones who complain about your bad hairstyle, dressing sense and other habits at the first place. But if this is what you say to her, book a bed in the nearest hospital.

So how should you answer?

Even I don’t have an answer to that. Do tell me if you have one!

Before concluding let me quote these lines directly from a girl’s heart… (to prove that boys aren’t that bad 😛 )

Behind every Mischief of a young boy, there’s always this innocent lad for whom food means mother’s recipe.

Behind every pair of notorious eve teaser eyes, there’s a nostalgic brother, who cherishes all the memories of his sister all his life

Behind that firm masculine physique lies a soft heart, which, when discovers the true essence of love, beats only for the princess he fancies.

Behind that firm square jaw line, there’s a father who deeply cares for his little angels.

So we’re done here. I guess most of you would agree to me in this and the rest would be girls. But deep down, even they know its right. Though I don’t guarantee the success of the 3 answers I have given with every question because they need to be delivered with a perfect expression and timing with optimum confidence. (Hence, most people fail!)

In the end I would like to do two things, apologise to the girls who unnecessarily and without reason felt offended 😛
And thank my co-author Akanksha for providing me a better insight over the topic (Trust me, I had some before too 😛 )

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Comments
  1. Gauri says:

    Last me poem puri dalta na sh ch!

  2. niki says:

    lets go shopping..:P

  3. GARGI says:

    yet again! kudozz to the description! this blog has always been a help for me as being single i get all the experience of being in relationship….last lines are just so so awesome 😀

  4. snowleopard says:

    Heh…quite amusing. I guess you should write a book on relationships next 🙂

  5. triptigoel says:

    LOLwa…awesome one… 😛

  6. triptigoel says:

    but i know kuch bhi ho, tu shopping wala option use ni krega, jab tak emergency na ho…kanjoos! 😛

  7. sudhakar says:

    reality nicely and carefully explained. relationship is not just based on how long we have been talking or knowing each other but based on only values.

  8. Khyati says:

    I wonder …….. have you ever met a girl (xcept the xtra girlish 1’s ) .Shopping point had a gr8 appeal !! 🙂

    • shubhamc21 says:

      As i said, girls will feel offended 😛
      So sorry for that, but the thing is, “have u ever met a girl” is not a right question for me, ask the co-author if u want 😛

  9. Shubham Khandelwal says:

    “Yes I have coz since the day I met you I realized you’re the only reason for whom I should change… It’s better to loose a little part of myself rather loosing you” bas itna kaho romantically, works most of the time !!!! haan bas isse zyaada na bolna warna overdose ho jaayega 😛 😛

  10. Waiting for the next comment in which a guy comes and says something like, “She had read this blog post before we went out, and I did not know that!!” 😀
    In other words, the previous ones are better…it is not that you could have done better with this post…the problem is, this whole idea is way too common,tried and tested many a times.. 🙂
    Come up something which connects Sunny Leone with Kolaveri Di, that will be more interesting i m sure. =P

    • shubhamc21 says:

      For the first line.. Me toooo!!! 😀
      For the rest, thanks for praising the previous ones, but surprisingly this one has become the most liked and most shared blog post! The thing is, this one’s USP was its common nature, and the unique answers.. especially the observation linked with sarcasm 😛
      Still, thanks for the idea, will work on that 🙂

  11. Shubham Khandelwal says:

    I never found myself in such a situation but I surely can say that girls like to listen that kinda stuff also from their boyfriends “sometimes” just to check whether she means to him or not 😛 lekin yeh unhe kaun samjhaye ki game pause karke baat kar raha h toh ofcrse she means a lot 😀

    • shubhamc21 says:

      About the first thing, yes, and thats the reason, sometimes what you think is not the case 😛
      and yep right, as the famous quote says “If he paused his game for you, marry him!!” 😛

  12. leoaw says:

    Good one. Those questions are definitely nightmares. Loved the way you concluded your post. they are so much true.

  13. Shreya says:

    Oh well…shopping does almost always help…for the times it doesnt…poor you!

  14. Prasanna says:

    Haha nice post 🙂 and yeah shopping usually works with all girls. And BTW I know a line which works with guys almost everytime, anytime-“Let’s make love” 😛

  15. Seena says:

    Absolutely loved the post. It was a pleasure to read from start to finish.. Maybe the gyaan is not entirely “new” but I guess its universal and so it crosses both time and space. But it is hilariously written. And yes every girl wants to be told she looks great. Even if she does not look like Aishwarya Rai. But not if she has something stuck in her teeth. Then she expects her man to tell her like it is. So she can continue looking great.

    Looking forward to catching up on your earlier and future posts.
    🙂
    Seena

    • shubhamc21 says:

      Well thanks a lot for the whole appreciation. Your comment clearly tells you enjoyed the post, and nothing else could make a writer happier 🙂
      About what you said, i agree, but some girls, who am i kidding, most girls, tend to take advantage of the fact that guys will be easy and generous with them 😛

  16. Ashwini C N says:

    Good one 🙂 And I feel your answers are exactly the ones a girl in that situation would expect to hear. I luved it 🙂

  17. Ashish Joshi says:

    😀 … cool .. liked it ..

  18. raahulsaxena says:

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha so true!!!!!!!
    I have been faced those question many many time..from my girlfriends…

    well u know what i am a Guy and not in a Relationship.. and i have 2 past relationship… but this line “You’re a single guy (not hot and not talented), read this, praise me, and then go back listening to your Justin Beiber CD”

    totally suits me… 😉 hi hi hi hi

    Few days ago i was watching Justin’s “baby song” my father came as asked,”why this girl with short hair chasing that other girl…” ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    anyways.. Amazing article…say thanks to “Akanksha Sharma”

    • shubhamc21 says:

      Thanks.. the thing i liked most about you, you accepted the “Justin beiber” thing! people don’t do that. quite a daring guy 😀
      And now i guess you won’t have a problem facing such questions 😉

      PS: Akanksha says welcome 😛

  19. i read it lng bck bt cmntng nw..! 😛 …heyy!!! lets go shopping! :P….
    n aftr r recnt tlk bout dating …i so wana knw d exact defination in ur terms..:P
    n about d post! popular topic…anti -feminisT! 😛
    d qns r definately epic….but shopping aaan..! 😀 teme ds dat actually wrk !?? :P…
    d no.1 answers r definately flatterng …(fr d gals frm 18th cntury 😛 ) n secnd ones r cnvincng..but dey also definately mean u hv been chechng out oder gals …:P if d gal u r around wid is smart enuf..:P none of em cn rely help! at d same tym….if shes gng out wid ” u”..aan any of em wil wrk! 😛 😀

    d poem is AWSM!! btr mail m d cmplete if ders more to it!! 🙂 🙂 i love d poem!!

    • shubhamc21 says:

      long ago there was a time when i said thanku.. now lets answer point by point!
      Dating definition, dont ask, mine is a lot different from what people expect, and i believe is better as well 😛
      abt the topic, i know.. its the most famous one! 😀
      questions and the shopping thing, yep, it works.. all the time!! 🙂
      answer number 1, i believe yes, but they work on simple type of girls (Who are without tantrums type)
      Answer two, if the girl is smart, she wont ask such stupid questions at the frst place.. so it works 😛

      About the second last comment, i am offended!! 😛
      And the poem, i am on it 🙂

  20. letter of recommendation says:

    lol

  21. Yes, I confess that the first thing i wanted to do after reading the post was not to like this, not to share this but to comment here. and obviously since there are so many ppl who have already done this, I had to waste a lot of my precious time scrolling down 😛

    These 5 questions sound like, 101 ways why I love you, 60 ways to make your girl friend happy, 25 ways you should not say on a date etc.

    But,quite smart, undoubtedly. So, you actually invite criticism of the feminists and then mention that they are getting unnecessarily offended!!

    Even before i knew about you, I knew this was an Engineer writing. your post in all its bits and parts and in its entirety smells so typically of all those frustrated Engineers who apparently don’t have a girl and don’t have a life and boast of knowing how to have one and how to deal with one. I wish deep down you realize that all female (or male) do not subscribe to a typical stereotype.They have got enough curves both physically and psychologically!

    Nevertheless what i simply love about you ppl is the art of inviting audience through your terse, uncomplicated and uni-dimensional subjects with a lot of wit and humor!

    It was a lot of fun reading it! 🙂

    • shubhamc21 says:

      Well, thanks for the last two lines. 🙂

      Now moving to the upper part, i liked the fact you gave a frank opinion. But i would say, this is NOT an article like 101 ways why I love you, 60 ways to make your girl friend happy, 25 ways you should not say on a date etc. The reason being, i have NOT tried to be an expert, i have rather made fun of the fact that no one here is an expert.

      Secondly, Fun Fact, 70% of people liking it were girls and most of them aren’t engineers, and i know the image of an engineer is like of a frustrated person who apparently doesn’t have a life, but then again the same statement of yours “all female (or male) do not subscribe to a typical stereotype.They have got enough curves both physically and psychologically” applies to the engineers and ultimately to the writer as well right?

      Thanks again for liking but the inferences you drew need a little more thought i guess 🙂

  22. I said that the questions sound like those analogies that i drew and that certainly did not mean the way this has been written!!next i said it smells of those things written by engineers these days, not that it actually is!! the callousness with which you read and the way you reacted caused such heart burns! 😛

    Nevertheless, you missed thanking me for calling this an undoubtedly smart effort and similarly you missed thanking me for some other niceties in my comment… wish you had read them/me more closely! 😦

    • shubhamc21 says:

      Haha.. well i can thank you for being frank and saying what exactly u felt instead of just saying “Good one” and “keep writing”
      And believe me, a writer always appreciates healthy criticism over plane appreciation 🙂
      PS: Thanks for the other things too 😛

  23. darmowe says:

    Great blog dude! I just added this article to my Digg account. Keep it up!

  24. […] the first article in that series, from me and my co-author, a person known to many of you from “5 questions guys can’t answer”, Akanksha sharma! In this, we have tried to help out the other girls, in case they need some […]

  25. Anjali Pathak says:

    There is nothing typical in this blog that can prove that this is written by an engineer or a doc. Its purely written for fun and we girls are not offended at all. Coz every question that I read seemed very common one girls usually ask. So however familiar this topic may sound but you came up with a fresh appeal to it and absolutely hilarious answers…!!! Plus the few lines at the end were like cherry on the cake!!! Simply loved them!!! The 5th question is the most irritating one you hear from everybody…friends, relatives etc LOL!!!
    Great presentation!!!
    Very well done both of you!!!

    • shubhamc21 says:

      thanks a lot.. coming from a girl, such comments matter to me a lot 🙂
      And i could see you’ve read it carefully.. last line are special creation by the co-author.. though she’s still mad i clipped them 😛
      Thanks again 🙂

  26. now i have noticed a pattern…would like to tell that after someone have made my comment approve from being spam….then i can only comment on each and every post of that blog…but if i enter a completely new blog then i encounter the same problem of comment not being visible to me…i can only comment to those blogs who have once approved my comment from not being spam..the same as u did just now….my comments are directly posted an spam…
    don’t know why it is so.

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