Sansani – Not so funny

Posted: August 7, 2011 in News Parody, Popcorn posts, Sarcasm
Tags: , , , ,

Gaur se dekhiye is aadmi ko.. iske masoom chehre pe mat jaiyega… asal me ye ek vahshi darinda hai…

Oh c’mon! Give me a break.

This is what all the news channels are showing these days.  A guy who eats stones, a lady who can see future, a child who remembers his previous birth!!! Where are those good old days when we actually got to see some NEWS on the news channels !!

Initially I thought TRP is a reason they’re showing this.. but who gives them the TRP?? Us. And who hates all this?? Us. So whats the purpose behind all this.

For instance, as I was watching a holi special program, an astrologer said.. “if u go playing holi at around 12 wearing red clothes and throw green color on a person with black clothes.. LABH HOGA!!”  WTF… oops sorry.. I wanted to say.. WTF.. yes, this only..  I mean how possibly one can enjoy holi under such weird restrictions!!!

Another weirdo on the same channel says something about vastushastra… acc to him the reason for the caller’s failure in life was his study table which was oriented towards south! I wonder if bill gates knew that, how much more successful he would have been.. poor guy has his whole office facing south!!

I don’t know how people can be fooled easily with this whole crap… how can u think that the reason of your failure in studies was a table lamp that was facing north and not your stupid message chats with your girlfriend all the time. And this is not it, there’s a lot more to go.

When we think about news , the first thing coming to our mind is our sweet government (yes I am being sarcastic). So here’s what the news channels show as breaking news when it comes to government

sarcozi ki girlfriend k bharat aane me hui adchan… kya karenge manmohan

Mayawati ne khareeda naya bangla… mulayam ne manga byora

Budget hoga aaj pesh, Sansad me kya fir se chalengi chappale

Where is the news that I wanted to see… what about the latest policies, what about the cabinet reshuffle, what about whats inside the budget!!!

These days the term BREAKING NEWS is used everywhere… seems like this term is becoming similar to reservation… used so much that now it should be put in general category

In Last few weeks, these were the breaking news.. “katerina speaks hindi on the sets of ZNMD” “harbhajan says I am not happy with dhoni’s statements” “ rakhi sawant to host Ajab Desh ki gajab kahani” so what about the new reports on the recent bomb blasts? And what about the big economic crisis taking place in the US?

And I don’t think there will be any guesses what was the biggest news last month (apart from rajhinikanth returning to india)… oh yes… HINA RABBANI… that was one of the most talked about persons in the whole media… as every indian now knows about her… there are a few who also know why she came here… rest only saw the breaking news which was “kya hina rabbani jitni khoobsurat mahila hamare cabinet me hai??”

And this was my personal favourite breaking news “Pakistan ne bheja bharat me ek aur bomb.. hina rabbani ne jeeta manmohan ka dil

There are a few things for which these channels have become famous too… for eg. A guy in a blazer and a pretty bad shave covers the whole screen… points his weirdly long finger at you and shouts “sansani me aapka swagat hai” and I am like “DUDE chill… the way you are shouting, I wonder the culprit might just die of heart attack!!”

Also there’s one uncle who comes to advise people about stocks… and he is so sure about everything that he can tell “reliance will gain a 100 rs by tomorrow” “bajaj is gonna lose for sure” and I want to ask him.. if you’re so sure why don’t u just buy like 10-20000 shares… why this little job… and on a more positive side why don’t u go and tell the ambanis what the company is gonna do tomorrow… they might just make you their partner!!

All in all… I think india needs a good TV experience and not INDIA TV experience… we have tolerated this AAJ TAK but not after this… and this is the time(S) now to tell them that we need some proper and real news.

Who cares if a man hasn’t slept in 10 days, just give him some sleeping pills… who cares if a child can eat 12 bananas at a time, just arrange his meeting with adnan sami…

But we do care about our country and we would like to know more about the recent developments, latest policies, good performances… none of us is interested in what cream shahrukh khan uses or what brand Amitabh endorses, we’re interested in what’s good for us and what’s better for the nation.

I guess this is it for now… but here is a question…  We all know how important media is and since it is inseparable , what can we do to improve its condition… ? I know we all might have an answer for this… but it’s time to execute.

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Comments
  1. […] mark on the deferential position of our country in the world… With my previous articles like Sansani not so funny  and Indian Democrazzy I  have tried to convey the same thing… this time I tried to widen the […]

  2. shubhamc21 says:

    8 likes and no comments.. my only article that made the readers speechless i guess 😛

  3. humaira says:

    Well…the anger and frustration you feel with regards to the above mentioned gimmicks of our Indian media is shared by many like you. Including me. But I’d like to point out a few very interesting ideas. (can’t say facts..’cause not really checked)
    These television news stories are basically popular with the innocent,village simpletons.
    The educated and a bit more smart ones hardly bother about all these things. People stop caring about our. Indian..OUR news. They stop believing that it will make a difference. Why not just watch BBC or some other news channel when Aaj Tak irritates you.
    I know…it’s annoying. But guess that’s how people have altered their attitude. Personally I am sick of the news in the newspapers and television news. Just a full load of crap. And trust me..I found your “crap” so much more appealing and worth the read. I am aware ..that this comment is going way to long..but well..there is so much to say..so less a space/time to do so. You’re article was “RAW”. Very real and mirrored the exact feelings of a person with a functional brain.
    Finally. ..just a thought. . When people get comfortable with sitting in loo. ..surrounded by the stench of a load of shit. ..they stop complaining. Stop bothering about it and..hell some even

    • shubhamc21 says:

      Thanks humaira.. long or short doesn’t matter, any author likes a comment that gives him a true reply of what he wrote and that’s exactly what you did there. Glad i have a reader like you. thanks 🙂

  4. humaira says:

    ^Start enjoying it. Welcome to India!
    !ncredible !ndia

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